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I have digital overload from parenting a first grader. School, friend hangouts, and extracurriculars are all managed on my phone.

Sep 18, 2024, 17:28 IST
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The author says she debates whether to delete certain apps, but then has FOMO. Oscar Wong/Getty Images
  • My daughter is in first grade and also attends extracurricular activities.
  • I'm always looking at my phone because of notifications from school or the parent group chat.
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It's taken me some time to realize but I have been checking my phone every 30 minutes. No, it's not infinite scrolling — it's mostly because I am a parent to a first grader, and I don't have much choice.

Schools, extracurricular activity places, and the parents of my daughter's friends are all digitally savvy, so I have to be as well. But it's starting to take a toll on me.

I look before she's even out of the house

Before our daughter sets off for school, my husband and I check the phone every few minutes. There's a school bus tracking system that lets us know where exactly the bus is and when it will arrive at our house so we can track it. It's the same when it's time for her to get back home. I keep checking the phone to decide when I should start walking toward our gate to pick her up.

As the day's activities take over, the phone buzzes in between to let us know of any updates from the school. Many schools use mobile apps to communicate with parents. Sometimes, it is about class notes, and at other times, it is about the homework for the day. Of course, there are other updates on any upcoming events in the school.

If that was not enough, the parents of the first grade class decided to set up their own text group. Although this unofficial group was set up to connect, collaborate, and communicate, it sometimes became a rant-fest.

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There may be times when I wonder if I should exit from the group. But then FOMO kicks in. What if I miss something important that could be useful for my daughter? What if I want to reach out to another parent? What if I am judged for not participating?

Instagram scrolling has also taken a toll on me. I get excited each time I see a new reel or update from the school. I am eager to validate that we have made the right choice regarding her school. The teachers had a workshop to integrate art into their teaching methods? That's useful information for me to know.

It's not any better on the weekends

You'd think my digital well-being is better over the weekend without school. But guess what? My daughter has an active social life, and if she is invited to a birthday party, it's usually an online invitation. So then I'm sucked again into my phone to confirm the time and address of where we need to go.

She also participates in extracurricular activities. Ballet and karate may seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum, but they have something in common which is the same methods of communication — text messages. And so, once again, I'm staring at my screen again.

There are times when I am tempted to reduce my phone usage. But then I ask myself, will I be less of a good parent if I do? For now, I'll keep checking my phone ever 30 minutes to make sure my kid is not left out of any activity, party, or school assignment.

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