- I'm a huge Christmas fan and always organized lots of events like themed dinners and movie nights.
- After having two kids, creating a perfect Christmas was hard; I learned to let go of having a plan.
I love Christmas. I'm that annoying person who talks about Christmas months in advance, starts decorating the day after Thanksgiving, and goes overboard in every way possible. I make Buddy the Elf look mellow. But while I love Christmas, my perfectionism tends to get in the way and make it harder to actually be in the moment and enjoy all of the Christmas cheer.
I have beautiful memories of Christmas from my childhood. That was all thanks to my mom and late grandmother. Now, as a parent of two young children myself looking back, I'm honestly not sure how my mom managed to plan the perfect Christmas for us while remaining her calm and collected self. I've realized how much effort she must have put into everything, all while making it look easy. I have more difficulty being more mindful during Christmas since becoming a mom.
After having kids, organizing Christmas became more difficult
Before having my kids, I planned everything for Christmastime in advance. I scheduled all kinds of events for the holiday season, from themed dinners, movie nights, and outings to see Christmas lights, to fun Christmas activities with family and friends. I even used to prepare Christmas menus months in advance. Though I loved doing all of that, now, with a five-year-old daughter and a three-month-old son, it's become much harder — and less enjoyable — to do.
I realized that I can't try to plan everything out when it comes to Christmas. I tried that for the first few years of my daughter's life, and usually, it ended up with me feeling disappointed, because things didn't go exactly as I had wanted. Whether my daughter had a tantrum or our schedule changed last minute because of the weather, my meticulous planning would often leave me without enough energy to actually end up really enjoying anything. In fact, it just left me disappointed because the outing we would have didn't look like what I had imagined in my head.
The lack of a schedule allowed more room for Christmas magic
Instead, for the past two years, I've thrown out my Christmas to-do lists. Trying to make sure that everything is "perfect' takes way too much time and effort, and at the end of the day, I've come to the conclusion that it's just not worth it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I still have the ideas in my head of what I want to do — but I carry them out in a different way. For example, I've learned that during the holidays, part of the fun of being on vacation is the idea that we don't have to stick to such a strict schedule and instead, we can go with the flow and be spontaneous. Doing so allows for more Christmas magic.
Being comfortable not making plans taught me flexibility
I have finally let go of what "looks" like the perfect Christmas and actually allow Christmas to just be. By being more free and lowering my expectations, I've started leaving room for myself to be pleasantly surprised. Without having over-the-top expectations, I won't be disappointed that the plans I've put so much effort into haven't gone the way I pictured; instead, there's a chance that things could ever go better than I hoped.
I don't have a schedule, and I don't anticipate the days in advance. I find that doing things this way works much better now that I have children since it creates more flexibility. It's also teaching me and my daughter — who also likes to know things in advance — how to be present in the moment without having everything planned out ahead of time.
Focusing on the happy memories helped me stay present
This year, my family has been wanting to go to a Christmas market. In previous years, I would have tried to plan the whole experience ahead of time, but this year, I didn't do that. We woke up one morning earlier this week, saw that the sun was shining and that both kids were in good spirits, and decided to get ready and go. We ended up having a wonderful time. Was it because I didn't schedule everything? I'm honestly not sure.
But what I do know is that by letting go of the expectations for a perfect holiday season, I've felt more relaxed and present. It's been easier for me to be happy in the moment, focus more on my children, and see the true joy that Christmas brings to them. My kids aren't going to remember details that used to stress me out — things like Christmas cookies that don't form perfectly, or weather that's chillier than expected — but they will remember the happy memories we shared as a family, and now, that's what I'm choosing to focus on, too. In the end, that's all that matters.