I don't allow screens during meals with my kids. Here's how I keep them entertained instead.
- I'm a parenting editor and have three kids under the age of 6.
- While we own tablets for long plane trips, my kids never use them anywhere else.
When my first son was a tiny baby, I took pride in taking him everywhere I went. During my maternity leave — which was six months and felt like the bare minimum — we would go out on daily lunch dates, just the two of us. I would push the stroller around, pick out a new place to eat, and he kept me company in his little bassinet while playing with toys or taking a nap.
As he got older and more curious, I realized I needed to bring more entertainment for him to avoid meltdowns, but I was also determined to keep exposing him to new places and foods.
The other thing I was determined not to do was place a screen — whether a phone or a tablet — in front of him while we ate.
My decision wasn't based on studies, and I wasn't worried about "too much" screen time; I just felt like meals should be sacred for our little family, and a time to connect when the rest of the day was so chaotic.
I'm not against screen time
We are not a family that doesn't watch television. In fact, when I gave birth to twins at the height of the pandemic, my then 2-year-old son would spend some time with "Sesame Street" and a snack while I pumped and fed his newborn sisters.
We've also taken them to see a couple of movies in the theatre — an experience they absolutely love. And while it's not a daily thing — and depends on many factors like weather, how tired they are, and their moods — they sometimes watch a show before dinner at home.
I want meals to be a time we are all present together
I know taking kids out for meals is stressful and chaotic. I have three kids with very different personalities and needs. It'd be much easier for my husband and me just to bring three tablets when we plan a meal out together so that we could have adult conversations and an uninterrupted meal.
But that doesn't feel right to me. If we make the effort to go out for dinner to a place we all like or for a change of scenery, I want us all to be present together and enjoy each other's company.
It does require some juggling. I will often cart a bag full of crayons and blank paper because my kids love to draw. They will ask us to play tic-tac-toe with them or help them write a new word they are learning.
I've amassed a collection of screen-free toys that we bring with us. We have tons of Wikki Stix — short sticks covered in non-toxic wax — that allow them to make creations beyond coloring. My kids also love GooToobz (which I use for stress relief when we travel), Boogie Boards (which allow them to draw over and over without me having to bring a giant bag of supplies), and DoodleJamz (which feature their favorite superheroes).
I also ask one question during every dinner that everyone needs to answer, including the adults. They are simple prompts, but they get us talking and engaging as a family. Things like "What was your favorite thing that happened today?" or "Did you learn something new?" or "Was there something that you didn't like about your day today?"
We do have tablets for travel but have strict rules about them
When my twins were 2 years old, we planned our first plane trip as a family of five. I was absolutely intimidated by the logistics and decided to buy three Kindle Fires for the kids. They are the most frustrating tablets I've ever used, and we have strict rules about when they can use them.
If we travel by car, we've recently discovered Toniebox, which plays stories and songs from their favorite characters. They've also all gotten into "Brains On," a podcast for kids about science and health.
I'm not here to say my way is better than anyone else's way, and I don't judge people who do choose to use screens during meals. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I know we are all doing the best we can. For our family, it means no screen time during meals, which might also mean I will never have a warm meal again.