- I never dreamed of getting married, let alone having kids.
- When I met my now-husband, I saw how much he enjoyed spending time with friends' kids.
As an only child, my parents weren't too thrilled when I reminded them — once again — that I was never (ever) getting married, and they could very much let go of the idea of having grandchildren. Kids were not in my plans.
For a long time, I believed it. I had long relationships that always ended when things needed to get serious — whether it was moving in together or talking about what would come after.
In 2014, after a horrible heartbreak, I met my now-husband. It sounds like something that happens in the movies, but I swear it's how I felt: I realized it wasn't that I didn't want to get married or have kids. It was that I only wanted to do those things with him. I knew almost instantly after we started dating.
I knew he loved kids
All of his friends were married and had kids, a stark contrast with mine who were still figuring out life in New York City. That meant when I was spending time with him, there were often kids involved.
From the get-go, he didn't hide that he loved children. He would walk into a friend's house and less than a second later be on the floor with all the kids piled up on him, screaming his name in excitement.
I, on the other hand, was more timid. I'd often stare at his friends when a chubby-cheeked toddler would say something to me that I didn't understand, quietly screaming, "Help me out here!" in my head.
We never had 'the talk'
Our relationship progressed exponentially fast. We had friends in common, which made hanging out more fluid. We also lived a couple of blocks away from each other, so suddenly, we were spending most of the week together. My husband and I both had fast-paced jobs that took us from one cool event to another, so we always had something to do.
The next thing I knew were living together, and people were asking me what came next.
The reality is that we never had any of the dreaded "talks." Not about whether we were exclusive, or if we were on the same page about marriage, or even about kids. We both went with the flow.
I didn't know he was going to propose, but when he did after two years together, I wasn't surprised. It felt right, and I had an epiphany. It wasn't that I didn't want to get married and do the whole grown-up thing. I just wanted to do it with him.
I got accidentally pregnant
We got married a month after he proposed. And then we had two more parties after that in different parts of the world. On the night before our final wedding, I accidentally got pregnant. Well, more like "accidentally" because we both knew what could happen as things were happening.
I took a pregnancy test after he left for a short trip, and I found myself alone in our apartment, shaking and laughing. Never for a second did the "old me" that didn't want kids come out to question what was happening. We were having a baby. Years later, I found myself intentionally pregnant, but this time with twins.
Just like with his friends' kids, my husband is exceptional with our kids. He's the right amount of childish, nurturing, and strict — both with our children and me.
I often tell him that I could never do something as hard as being a parent with anyone else. At the same time, sometimes I still can't believe I have three kids of my own.
The irony of having gotten married three times and having three kids after saying "never" to both of those is not lost on me.