As millions flee war, Hungarians host refugees in their homes: 'Our Ukrainian families'

• Hungarian families are opening their doors to refugees fleeing war in Ukraine.
• Hungary is not a refugee-friendly nation, but locals are doing what they can to help.

BUDAPEST, Hungary — When Russian President Vladimir Putin first referenced nuclear weapons in the context of the Ukrainian invasion, Eszter Zombory-Balogh became unsettled.

She and her family live in Budapest, Hungary. Despite the thousands of kilometers that stood between her and the active fighting in the border country of Ukraine, she still felt vulnerable and immediately went out to renew passports for her family.

"I spent $600 euros on this, but it was so important for me," Zombory-Balogh told Insider, while holding her 1-year-old daughter, in Budapest. "When I got the passports, I said OK I'm fine now."

Then Zombory-Balogh started to wonder how she could help people who were in direct harm's way of the attack, and realized she could host those fleeing the warzone in a vacant apartment owned by her father.

She began acquiring dishes, towels, blankets and mattresses to fill the apartment. It was her way of feeling in control in uncertain times. Now the apartment is a haven for two families — one from Odessa and another from Kyiv — who were forced to flee their homes.

More than 3 million people have fled Ukraine, with over 250,000 going to the neighboring country of Hungary.

With no existing infrastructure to house refugees in Hungary, it was up to citizens like Zombory-Balogh to open their doors to refugees. As Ukrainians arrive at transit hubs in the country, they are met by strangers who show up wanting to help in any way they can.

Katerie, who lived in Odessa, had no plans on leaving the city when the first bombs dropped on February 24.

Her two adult children couldn't leave, and without them she wasn't going to go anywhere.

But her adult son, who remains in Odessa, was adamant that she and his 17-year-old brother got out while they can.

Nearby Snake Island was already under attack.

Katerie resisted at first, but about a week later, they met with a family friend — Natalie — and fled Ukraine together with their sons.

"My other son said, on the first day, 'you will do me a favor if you leave the country. I will know you are safe and for me, as a man, it will be easier," Katerie told Insider.

The two families spent all the money they had to flee Ukraine — first to Moldova and then Romania. From there, they acquired a ticket voucher to Budapest.

When they arrived at the train station in the city, they had no plan. At first they thought an acquaintance of the family, who lived in the region, might be able to help. When that plan fell through, they connected with volunteers in the building's atrium. They had been organizing lists of refugees who needed housing.

That's when they were put in touch with Zombory-Balogh.

"We are very grateful to Eszter and their family, their hospitality," Katerie said, choking up. "They see to all our needs. She helps us in all respects, with their own money. She helped us to find clothing, to find food. Everything, we are provided."

While living at Zombory-Balogh's home, the Odessa family was joined with a Kyiv family.

Luliia Sergeieva, a lawyer and human rights advocate, fled her highrise apartment in Kyiv as soon as the bombs began to fall. She woke her 6-year-old son, Simon, in the middle of the night . They went to her mother's house in the suburbs, where she spent the night in a bomb shelter. When she realized they were no more safe there than at home, they left to Budapest.

Eleven days later, her mother and grandmother joined them.

The decision to leave Ukraine was difficult for their family, too.

Sergeieva's grandmother was resistant. She had stopped going to the basement during air raid sirens because she fell the first time. Her grandparents on her father's side, remain in the country.

"The older you get, it's harder to leave your home," Luliia Sergeieva said, as her grandmother spent time outside the cliffside home of Zombory-Balogh. "When there was a siren, my grandparents just say, 'oh I don't care I'm just going to sleep.'"

Making the best of a bad situation

The two families living in Zombory-Balogh's have become close, eating meals together and exploring the region as they figured out where they'd go next.

Simon plays with Natalie's young son. Katerie's son Tymur helps with Zombory-Balogh's daughter.

"For two years we went without hugging anyone, not even our families. Now were hugging people we don't know at all and they are now our families, our Ukrainian families," Zombory-Balogh said. "It feels so normal."

Outside of meeting the survival needs of the two families, Zombory-Balogh wanted to make sure that they enjoyed their time in Hungary as much as possible.

She took the group on a trip to Szentendre, where they ate chimney cake — Hungary's national sweet — and attended a Ukrainian mass at a church.

"The priest noticed our group and gave blessings to all of our children," Zombory-Balogh told Insider.

A short drive from Zombory-Balogh's home, another Odessa family has taken refuge with a Budapest family.

Margo Kumanova and Davit Astvatsaturyan got married on February 16, and would soon move into an apartment they bought together in the port city.

Those plans — like the plans of millions of Ukrainian families — were disrupted when Russia invaded the country on February 24.

"The first four days, we didn't even think about leaving. We were convinced that after a couple days this conflict will be settled," Astvatsaturyan told Insider in Budapest. "In 2008, we saw very similar events in Georgia — Russia attacked Georgia. The whole conflict took five days, and we thought it would be the same."

The situation in Ukraine, though, turned out to be very different. The couple lived less than a mile from an airport, which was target of several bombings.

"Psychologically it was very difficult," Kumanova said. "We slept in turns because we were afraid to miss something, and that we wouldn't have time to go to the shelter."

On the fifth day, the couple made a run for it. They crossed the border into Moldova, then traveled to Romania where they spent three days.

On the fourth day, they took the train to Budapest. Kumanova's cousin and her son joined them.

Then they connected with J. Kovács Judit and Wolsky András, who had joined a Facebook page for organizing refugee relief. Their teenage son gave up his room to the couple.

"This family was the first one that approached us directly," Judit said. "When we got their message, we weren't sure. We didn't know how many days they were coming for."

The family, though, told them they planned on continuing their trip by train to Spain, where they hoped to obtain legal documents and settle down.

When they moved into the brightly colored apartment on the Buda side of the Hungarian city, the families instantly bonded.

Judit showed the family the city. She also found them free plane tickets, so they could continue their trip to Spain. When they left, she gifted them a wedding present of 1,000 euros donated from many families in the city.

"They will even have a surprise champagne given by one of the stewardess on board," Judit told Insider.

"We feel tourists, not refugees," Davit Astvatsaturyan told Insider. "They showed us the town. They did everything they could so we could forget our real situation."

Marina Shafit provided translation services in Hungary.