4 working moms share what they really want for Mother's Day

• Insider spoke with four working moms to ask about what they want this Mother's Day.
• One, an eviction defense attorney, said she wants a night in a hotel with a massive bathtub.

The past year has been especially tough on working moms. After dealing with challenges from school closures to the lack of affordable childcare and return-to-office requirements, moms deserve a day of relaxation and doing exactly what they want.

Insider spoke with four working moms about the last year of their lives, and how they're hoping to celebrate and what they really want for Mother's Day.

The following stories are based on conversations with the sources. Their statements have been edited for length and clarity.

'Fresh air and roller skates'

Shay L., 45, is a fellowship coach in Washington, DC, and has three kids aged 9, 13, and 18.

The last year of my life has been a whirlwind of ups and downs. My former partner of eight years (my kids' dad) moved back to his hometown right after the shutdown in early 2020, so I was adjusting to single parenthood. On top of the pandemic, I was working full-time from home with three kids attending school remotely. Then in July 2021, I had a hysterectomy to resolve recurring fibroids.

During my recovery from surgery, I met and fell in love with someone amazing. That August, my oldest child went off to college, and in October my father fell ill in a foreign country and died alone. After my uncle died of cancer in December, I spent a restorative Christmas in Puerto Rico with my boyfriend.

This year, I want simplicity for Mother's Day. I want sunshine. I want fresh air. I want fun. I want these roller skates. I saw them and they looked fun and whimsical and reminded me of going roller-skating in San Francisco when I was younger. More than anything, I want to be surrounded by people that love me and want the best for me.

'A hotel with a massive bathtub'

Kelly Barnett, 39, is an eviction defense attorney for the elderly and disabled in Palo Alto, California, and has one son aged 11.

The past year has been the most difficult year of my life — and this is coming from someone who went to law school at night as a single mom. I got married in August and moved with my husband and son from San Francisco to Palo Alto.

At the time, I was waking up at 5 a.m. to get my son to school in San Francisco by 7 a.m., would then commute for two hours to work in Modesto, and wouldn't get home until after 9 p.m. I'd miss dinner and bedtime stories and began to feel burned out from the long hours. It was awful.

My husband is an incredible partner and loving father. Even though he also works as a chemistry professor, he was able to take over a lot of the responsibilities of child raising and housekeeping. Still, no parent should have to do it all. We'd also begun trying to expand our family, which hasn't gone well at all. No one could have prepared me for the disappointment of not being able to conceive.

The commute proved unbearable, so I had to leave my cushy job in tech for a position at a nonprofit. My new job is fantastic, but it pays a lot less and the work is intense. We're responsible for keeping vulnerable senior citizens and people with disabilities housed when their landlords are trying to kick them out. We really love our clients and want to do whatever we can to help them, from the work we do in the courtroom to satisfying their landlords demands by coming in with trash bags and cleaning out their units.

For Mother's Day, I always feel guilty about only wanting a super basic thing like a massage and pedicure. But god damn, those things are hard to come by. If this was a dream Mother's day, after the spa I might check into a hotel with a massive bathtub and order room service. After some amazing meal, I'd hop into my pajamas and go straight to bed!

'A day alone to spend gardening'

Erin Kray, 38, is a social service administrator in Cleveland, Ohio, and has one son aged 5.

I live in Cleveland where the final spring freeze can be as late as April 30, so Mother's Day is one of the first days it's safe to start planting outside without the danger of frost. As a mother who gardens, this gives the holiday a special meaning.

Gardening is a little like raising children — you can plant and prune and pick and weed, but ultimately it all grows up doing its own thing and you can only hope what you sow turns out OK and survives the winters.

Finding time to garden by myself without interruptions is a treat. Sure, I can pull out a dandelion here or there while chasing around my 5-year-old, but I especially cherish being able to garden alone and find my focus. I work in homeless services, so the pandemic was a level of hell we hadn't ever imagined, in an already incredibly difficult field. 2021 was somehow just as chaotic as 2020. The garden for me is a place of stillness and centering away from the stressors of work.

For Mother's Day, I'd like a day by myself to go to the garden store and then time to tinker around in my garden alone. Just let me frivolously buy another perennial I don't need, spend some time listening to trash podcasts, and get my hands dirty.

'Noodles and a pink rose bush'

Magda Pecsenye, 49, is a management strategist in Detroit, Michigan, and has two sons aged 16 and 20.

I know a lot of parents struggled through the pandemic, but for me, the last few years have been a gift. If lockdown had happened 10 or 15 years ago I'd have been so stressed, but because my children are older, I was able to spend time with them without the pressure that comes with looking after little ones.

I train people in my proprietary management process, so I've been working from home since forever. The only difference for me these past couple years was that everyone else has been working from home, too. And my kids were home — in school all day online — so it was nice because we could meet for lunch and then just go back to our respective Zoom meetings.

It's a lot of fun when your kids grow into fully-formed, mostly-independent people. My boys are both so incredibly self-directed. Sure, my younger one would sometimes stay up too late playing video games and we'd have a talk, but as long as he could wake up in time to log in to school, it was fine.

This Mother's Day, all I want is for my kids to take me to our favorite place for noodles. And I want them to buy me a pink rose bush and plant it for me. I really love having kids old enough to do these kinds of things!

I know a lot of moms prefer to spend the day away from their children but really, I don't need a break from my boys. Now that they're teenagers, I hardly ever see them — even when they're at home!