Butterball turkey experts have been answering your burning turkey questions since 1981. This week, we hear from the turkey talkers about the wildest calls and how to pull off a "perfect" Thanksgiving dinner. Then listeners call into our own Turkey Talk-Line to tell us about the surprising Thanksgivings they've spent at fast food restaurants.
Produced by Allison Behringer, Dan Bobkoff, Anna Mazarakis, Amy Pedulla, and Sarah Wyman.
Read more:
- Thanksgiving week is the busiest time of the year for Boston Market — here's why
- How Butterball's Turkey Talk-Line for nervous Thanksgiving cooks became such a huge phenomenon that it's gotten shout-outs on late-night shows and 'The West Wing'
Transcript
Note: This transcript may contain errors.
DAN BOBKOFF: Hey, Dan here, this is Household Name. Yada yada yada. But actually can you hold for a moment? I need to make a call.
CALL: Our estimated wait time is about 5 minutes. Please continue to hold for the next available expert.
DB: Sorry, this is going to be a little longer, but it's really important I make this call.
TARA: Good morning, Butterball turkey talk line, this is Tara speaking, may I help you?
DB: Yes hi, this is Dan. And I have never made a Thanksgiving dinner in my life. And I wonder if you could help me figure out where to start.
TARA: Well, you started at the right place, Dan.
The first step is to decide, well how many people are coming over? Say for example you're going to have ten people at your gathering, so that would then be a 15 pound turkey...
DB: This might be a while...
TARA: That 15 lb turkey will take approximately 3-4 days in your refrigerator. But not to worry, once it's thawed, you have up to four days to use it.
DB: I am so sorry, I'll be right with you.
TARA: And then, if you decide you want to use cold water, that will take you approximately, for that size turkey, about 7-8 hours. Once it's thawed, you're gonna put it back into the refrigerator on a tray.
The next step is to wait for Thanksgiving, and then you just take your turkey out of the wrapper and take the giblets and the neck out.
DB: What exactly are giblets?
TARA: Well giblets come with the turkey. They are the heart and the gizzard...
DB: Hey, Tara, can you stay on the line? I'm late for the intro….
From Business Insider and Stitcher, this is Household Name. Brands you know. Stories you don't. I'm Dan Bobkoff.
Today, two helpings of Thanksgiving.
First, the story of Butterball's wildly successful turkey customer support line. The craziest calls, the nicest people, and brilliant marketing.
Then, we have our own Turkey Talk-Line. Stories of people who found themselves eating fast food on Thanksgiving.
Stay with us.
ACT I
DB: There are brands that kind of own Thanksgiving. Like you've got Pepperidge Farm stuffing. Ocean Spray cranberry sauce. Maybe Marie Callender's pumpkin pie… And a certain kind of turkey.
BUTTERBALL AD: Butterball. Plump, juicy, tender. Butterball is everything that a turkey should be except frisky..
KYLE LOCK: Butterball is a true national icon. There aren't that many of those that are left...
DB: Kyle Lock is paid to say stuff like that. He's the head of retail marketing for Butterball. And he's right… there really isn't any other big brand name when it comes to whole turkeys.
KL: We're really the only brand that is gonna be consistently nationally distributed. Pretty much anywhere you go, looking for a turkey, Butterball is there.
DB: Kyle's resume is full of poultry companies… like Tyson.
KL: I've had a variety of different roles in my career, all working on protein brands.
DB: That's what you call them? Protein Brands?
KL: Yes. Right…
DB: I've never heard that before…
KL: Well, there you go...
DB: When Kyle talks turkey, I get the feeling he isn't just doing his job. He's really into it. Like even outside of work, he's the kind of guy who goes up to strangers to tell them he works for Butterball.
KL: My wife has tried to get me to stop doing it as much you know to random people in airports or grocery stores. I'm known to hand out coupons to people without them asking for them. I'm a little bit of an advocate.
DB: So Kyle is a true butterballiever… I'm sorry... but if you think about it, Kyle's job is kind of hard. Like, if you're in a supermarket, no reasonable person could tell the difference from one turkey or another. And yet, when Kyle tells people where he works, he gets reactions like this...
KL: They kind of kick a head back and it's like, 'Oh, Butterball! I love Butterball!'
DB: That love is because of branding. Turkeys are kind of commodities… they're mostly the same… but Butterball has spent a lot of time and money building a relationship with Americans.
As a company, Butterball has had a bunch of different owners over the last half century like Swift and Beatrice and ConAgra.
AD: Butterball, from Swift! Tis truly plump and juicy.
AD: After all, it's Butterball! Also available fresh.
AD: We're Beatrice.
DB: Now it's its own company. But the brand… Butterball… that's remained constant. And I don't think it's because of the basting. I think it's in large part because of the very, very nice people who pick up the phones at the Butterball Turkey Talk Line. People like Tara, or her coworker, Carol.
CAROL MILLER: Hi I'm Carol Miller. I'm actually one of 50 home economists, dietitians, food scientists, turkey experts that man the Butterball Turkey talk line. Alright, you're going to start asking me questions now, right?
DB: Yes, I am, Carol!
The Butterball Turkey Talk-Line is part customer service, part counseling center.
CALL CENTER: That is correct, we are here to answer all of your turkey questions!
DB: From the start of November to Christmas Eve, as many as 50 operators are standing by to answer your basic turkey questions…
CM: How much turkey to buy? How do I thaw it out? What's the best way to roast it?
DB: … they'll provide emotional support.
CM: There are times when people will call and you know that they're really stressed out.
DB: … and these turkey talkers are problem solvers.
CM: When do I put the turkey in so that it's done by half time?
DB: Carol is joined in the call center by other wholesome operators.
CALL CENTER: This is the Butterball turkey talk line, you're speaking with Andrea.
SUE SMITH: I'm Sue Smith. I'm one of the co-directors here at the Butterball turkey talk-line and I've been here for 19 years.
MARGE KLINDERA: Hello, I'm Marge Klindera. I'm one of the Butterball turkey talk-line experts. I've been working here at Butterball for the past 36 years.
DB: These are the veterans. Marge started a couple of years after the line launched in 1981.
MK: Well, when it first started the girls were working off of a rolodex with information and they took all the calls and recorded them by hand. By 1983 when I began, we had computers, and we put all the information in the computer. They were the big bulky computers of that era.
DB: The line has gone from 11,000 calls in its first year to 100,000 last season.
SS: We're just I think a part of thanksgiving tradition for so many families. And we're here. We can talk to you in person. And I think so many people love that idea.
DB: Butterball is based in North Carolina, but the call center is outside Chicago — in Naperville — which helps explain why so many of the operators sound like what you'd get if you typed Midwest Nice into Google.
DB: Have you ever been stumped by a caller?
MK: Occasionally, but usually I can find someone on the line who has information and if I can't answer it right then, I'll call somebody back and get them the information.
DB: These turkey experts are so nice. So unflappable. But I thought… after hundreds of thousands of calls, there have to be some horror stories.
DB: Do you ever have conversations in the hall where you're like, I can't believe the questions I got today?
MK: Well you'd think after all these years, everybody would have all the answers. But it's amazing how many people do not. They're cooking a turkey for the first time or they've simply forgotten how to do it because maybe they haven't done it for a year or two… and yes we do share those stories quite often.
DB: That's it? That's the gossip? I did everything I could to get these three to say something — anything — salacious about these calls.
DB: What is the most shocking call you ever received?
CM: Oh my gosh. Shocking...
DB: What was the most challenging question you ever got?
MK: Oh golly...
DB: Um, what's the worst call you ever got?
SS: Oh gosh, umm...
CM: You know, I don't think I've ever been blown off my chair.
DB: Really?
SS: Sometimes they haven't remembered to even thaw their turkey and they're just so stressed or mad. They're kind of beside themselves.
DB: Ever had callers that were rude or angry or just made you feel bad?
SS: No. I really, no. Even if they are...
DB: Not in 19 years?
SS: You know, it's a happy place here and we make… we pretty much always end up with a smile on their face and our face.
DB: Well, listeners, I tried. If you want the dark side of the Butterball Turkey-Talk Line, you'll need to find another podcast. But keep in mind… this is a company that put a Norman Rockwell painting on its turkey packaging a few years ago. Wholesome is their brand identity. So the hijinks are wholesome too.
SS: Got one call where it was kind of a disagreement between a husband and a wife. So he was put on the duty of putting the turkey in and making sure the oven was on. And she called and said 'the oven is broke.' She was frustrated. She was upset. She didn't know what to do now about her turkey because it's in the oven. He pops on the phone, and he's like 'no, I turned the oven on!' And she looked and said 'it's not on.' We're going around to figure out what we can do to get it working. All of a sudden the labradoodle comes trotting into the kitchen. He's smelling the turkey. He jumps up and he's turning off the oven. So it's actually him that's going in the doghouse. The husband was turning on the oven, but the dog kept coming in and popping it off with his paws. So that was a very memorable call. I liked that one.
DB: Then there's this unfortunate thaw story.
SS: Someone was coming home from work. She put her husband on duty to get the twins cleaned up after school and thawing the turkey. Just getting everything ready for the night. She came in from after work and heard a lot of commotion upstairs - a lot of laughing, giggling - she went upstairs and she found her two little twin boys in the bathtub with this frozen turkey in there with it.
The husband was like 'hey, I did my job. It's you know, I'm multitasking.' She was laughing, she called, and is like 'it's been in there a few minutes, not long. Can I put in the cold water and start thawing it and how long would it take to thaw?' It was a very cute question.
So we got it soaking in its own bath water. The twins got clean, the turkey got thawed in its sink, and it was all good.
DB: Dog and kid mishaps are a whole genre of Butterball call. There was the mom who called Marge and told her about the time her two year old stuffed his matchbox car inside the turkey before it went in the oven.
And then there are the calls where the turkey talkers find themselves playing marriage counselors. Solving and even preventing relationship disasters. Like this guy who told Carol he had an unconventional plan to propose to his girlfriend.
CM: The young man was going to mix the diamond ring into the stuffing that was going to go into the turkey.
DB: That sounds like a terrible idea!
CM: Well, hello! Yes it was but you know it was really important to him. He was going to make the big proposal in front of the entire family. I could just think Uncle Fred getting the diamond and losing a tooth or the diamond not coming out with the stuffing. I don't know. So we put our heads together I and suggested that he took the diamond, tied it with a string on a drumstick and present that to his bride to be.
DB: Carol never found out what happened, but she likes to think the girlfriend said yes.
DB: But sometimes aren't there arguments and fights you have to referee?
MK: Oh yes. I had one call from a young bride. She was kind of whispering. And I said, 'why are you whispering?' And she said, 'well my mother and mother in law are here arguing about what to do with the turkey and I decided I'd call you on the side and get your advice.' And when I told her the way we suggested, she was so relieved because it was her mother who had the right idea.
DB: And if you're wondering the right idea, let me save you a call:
MK: We always recommend using 325, and uncovered turkey for ⅔ of the way and then tent the breast area with foil. Use a meat thermometer and then you'll be just fine.
DB: I feel like I just called the turkey talk-line.
MK: Ha! Right.
DB: By the way, they say they don't mind if you call about another brand of turkey. It's still good marketing. Maybe you'll get a Butterball next year, they think. But if you are gonna call, it helps to have... any turkey.
DB: So I guess I have to get a turkey first, then?
TARA: Yes, exactly. So that's a good point.
DB: Yep, I'm still on with Tara.
DB: What do you tell people who call and they're anxious about pulling off the perfect thanksgiving?
TARA: I said 'never fear, butterball's here!' I'm happy to help you, we're gonna get through this, we're gonna do it one step at a time.
DB: Is that an official slogan? Because it should be. That's mine.
In a moment, the talk-line invades pop culture.
ACT II
DB: We're back.
As Tara and her colleagues know too well, the Turkey Talk Line is one of the few call centers where you might not rush to get off the phone. There's no time limit per call. Here's Carol.
CM: When you talk to them, you're walking into what's happening in their situation that day.
DB: There was the woman in her 70s who had lost her mother and was cooking a turkey for the first time. There was the person who lost her home in a hurricane and was living in a trailer.
CM: So she basically had a toaster oven and a kind of a not even a microwave. I think she just had some little flat top thing she could cook on so...
DB: So she and Carol played Macgyver and worked out a way to cook at least parts of a turkey.
To become a turkey talker like Tara, Marge, Carol or Sue, you'd have to go through something called Butterball University. BU! The newbies get hazed.
CM: They come to an intense situation where they all have their own turkey and we roast turkey in about seven different ways. We line the turkeys up…. We look at the juices in the pan...
DB: After this grueling class, the recruits are ready… ready to talk turkey.
In recent years, Butterball has added text messaging. They really wanted me to mention that you can talk to a recorded version of Marge on Amazon Alexa…
MK: Alexa, open the Butterball skill. "Hi, I'm Marge…"
DB: ...so there you go.
And they've found that cooking technology has changed, too.
CM: We don't get as many calls about microwaving. In those first years people were getting those great big huge microwaves, putting them on their kitchen counter, and the first thing they wanted to cook was a turkey.
DB: But in other ways, change comes slowly at the call center.
DAVID LETTERMAN: If you're having trouble with your Butterball turkey this year, you can call, and this year for the first time in the history of the hotline, they have men on the line answering questions because more men are calling in with Butterball questions...
MK: We've only had men the last four or five years.
DB: That recently? Really? Why do you think it took so long to change?
MK: Well I don't think they felt that men were qualified.
DB: More men are calling the hotline now too. So there are a lot of men who need some help.
MK: So we have lots more men cooking. Lots of young people who are away for their first thanksgiving and they want to replicate what they have had from their families. And they're getting some advice as well. So those are two ways things have changed.
DB: Friendsgiving is a thing now. That's another dinner before or after Thanksgiving… it's often twentysomethings. That means more inexperienced cooks buying turkeys and calling the hotline.
AD: You know people think all turkeys taste alike? Wrong.
DB: Butterball runs traditional advertising,
AD: True turkeytarians swear by Butterball. Did somebody say Butterball?
DB: But the real marketing genius is this talk line. It's a staple of late night comics. Marge herself had her moment of fame with Conan O'Brien.
CONAN O'BRIEN: She's here today to help us prepare a Thanksgiving turkey. She's the master. Please welcome Marge Klindera!
DB: Stephen Colbert answered real calls on the line.
STEPHEN COLBERT: They said you were a turkey expert!
When they answer the phone, you're described as a turkey expert…
Well, that's mostly marketing.
DB: And an episode of the West Wing had a whole storyline built around President Bartlett calling the line.
TALK LINE: And how can I help you?
PRESIDENT: Stuffing should be stuffed inside the turkey, am I correct?
TALK LINE: It can also be baked in a casserole dish. Well, then we'd have to call it something else, wouldn't we?
I suppose...
DB: Amazingly, the Colbert and West Wing bits were not product placement. That's not to say Butterball isn't out there trying to get publicity for the talk line. While we were working with Butterball on this episode, someone else from their public relations team reached out to us to suggest we do a story about… the Butterball Turkey talk-line.
KL: Yeah, I don't want to pretend this is... completely there just as an altruistic endeavor.
DB: This is Kyle Lock again… the head of marketing who likes to tell strangers he works at Butterball.
DB: It can't be cheap to have 50 people on the phone at all times. But on the other hand, you're getting Colbert segments and I'm doing an episode about it, so there has to be some calculation there that this is worth it.
KL: Well, it's totally worth it. I mean the benefit is tenfold. I mean, there's no question about it. It's not even so much just about the pure math. This is so core to the brand and the equity, what Butterball stands for is not only this amazing centerpiece product that's always going to turn out right, but it's this entire network of support.
DB: That network of support includes Tara and she's in the middle of giving me a pep talk…
TARA: We're going to help you host like a boss and get that job done. We want you to be confident and have all the knowledge so that you can, from start to finish, make that turkey.
DB: It turns out, I had called Tara on a very special day.
TARA: We actually have what we call National Thaw Your Turkey Day. And that is today!
DB: What are the odds?
TARA: So we recommend that people, regardless of size of their turkey, that they put it in their refrigerator today, and it should be thawed by Thanksgiving day. Because you want to have a thawed turkey so it cooks evenly.
So one thing we've been thinking about as we make this is "is there a right way to do Thanksgiving?"
Well, the right way to do Thanksgiving is the way that you wanna do Thanksgiving.
DB: As I sat on this call with Tara, I kept hearing about the ways we should be doing thanksgiving. The right way to thaw a turkey, to roast a turkey, to serve perfect side dishes, how to host family…
Not everyone has a Thanksgiving with family and friends and a Butterball in the middle of the table.
Sometimes you end up in places like these ...
LISTENER: Boston Market...
LISTENER: ESPN Zone...
LISTENER: Subway...
DB: Coming up, Thanksgivings that definitely don't involve Butterball.
BUTTERBALL: We're sorry, that was not a valid response.
ACT III
DB: We're back.
Tara spends the first part of her Thanksgiving manning the call line. But she heads home in the afternoon to enjoy a traditional Thanksgiving meal with her family.
TARA: I walk in the door, and immediately will be hit with this amazing aroma of roasted turkey. And about a half hour later, we have about 35 to 40 people.
DB: Wow that's big.
TARA: Yeah, it is. It's awesome. It's, you know, Thanksgiving is one of those great equalizer holidays in terms of you just getting together, to be together, to be thankful, to enjoy food in each other's company.
DB: We wanted to hear about how you celebrate Thanksgiving. So we opened up our own turkey talk-line. And you told us about some of your more... unusual Thanksgivings.
JANAE WILLIAMS: I've got to be honest. Thanksgiving food doesn't exactly appeal to me.
DB: Our first call came in from Janae Williams, from Los Angeles.
JW: I think because I didn't grow up with it, so it's like, well if I'm going to eat a bird, I would rather have a chicken than a turkey.
DB: Janae had an unconventional Thanksgiving dinner.
JW: My sophomore year of college, I spent Thanksgiving eating a turkey sandwich at Subway. (laughs) I can't even get through it without laughing…...
DB: At the time, Janae was living in Miami where she was going to school. She grew up as a Jehovah's witness, so holidays weren't a big deal in her family.
JW: Jehovah's witnesses, which I am not one but that is how I was raised, they believe that all holidays are manmade and therefore not meant to be celebrated.
DB: Janae was going to be heading back to LA in a few weeks. She said it didn't make sense to fly all the way to the West Coast and back. So she stayed in Miami.
JW: And all my friends went home. So I found myself alone. My RA had given me a couple DVDs to watch, including Life is Beautiful. So I sat there, watched it, bawled my eyes out, and then thought, I should go get some food. And so I drove on down the street, down US 1 to Subway, and I ordered a turkey sandwich. And I sat there still crying from the movie. I was eating that sandwich by myself.
'This is so lame….I cannot believe how lame this day is for me'...that's what I was thinking. I mean I was really sad from the movie but more just kind of laughing at myself that I was by myself at a subway on a Thanksgiving.
DB: What did you think of the turkey sandwich?
JW: Not bad, not bad. Subway was there for me so I gotta show respect.
You know fast food gets a bad rap, but it was there for me and I think you can't discount people's experiences because of your principles.
Maybe that goes back to religion actually.
DB: I talked to Janae the week before Thanksgiving.
DB: So what are you doing next Thursday, a week from Thursday?
JW: I don't know actually. Why, what's up?
DB: It's Thanksgiving.
JW: Oh! Right.
DB: And what do you think you'll be eating?
JW: A turkey sandwich from Subway. No. I really haven't thought about it. I don't know. We'll see, maybe I'll go to someone's house.
BUTTERBALL TALKLINE : For information on turkey preparation and cooking assistance, press or say "3."
DB: What do you think about chicken?
TARA: I love chicken! [laughs]
DB: Just not this week.
TARA: Yes, exactly. Chicken, it's a smaller version of turkey. But yeah, still a great product. We love our Butterball turkeys.
DB: Chicken is what made Boston Market famous. But its biggest sales week is Thanksgiving. A lot of people get their turkey dinners there.
TRAVIS DAUB: Hi my name is Travis Daub.
KRISTIN SALAKY: My name is Kristin Salaky.
DB: Travis and Kristin were on opposite sides of the register, in different cities, on different Thanksgivings. On the craziest day of the year for Boston Market.
TD: I worked at Boston Market on Thanksgiving.
KS: We often go to Boston Market, which in itself can be kind of a production.
DB: Travis said he started going to Boston Market just because their lives got so busy they wanted to spend that time as a family, not in the kitchen.
TD: I've got 3 kids and a very overworked, very dedicated wife and whenever Thanksgiving rolls around, we like to take it easy and eat fast food rather than waiting for a turkey to come out of the oven.
DB: And so, you know, for them… Boston Market, even if it's not their favorite food, it just frees up all this time...
TD: It's sort of great because I can work the early part of the day and then swing by Boston Market afterward. And then we're ready to go.
KS: It was wild. Very busy. Lines out the door constantly, all day.
DB: Kristin was 16 when she started working as a cashier.
KS: You know you had people like knocking on the door. I think we opened at 10:30 or 11, but there were people knocking on the door right away.
DB: So for the most part, despite the number of people, it's pretty orderly because a lot of people order ahead online, so they just hand the receipt, that's enough. They get all the turkey they ordered.
KS: But you know people obviously cross lines and so there are a lot of people would show up that day wanting like a whole turkey and ten things of mashed potatoes and whatever for their family. And that's not doable! We had to order things super far in advance. So it was my job as a sixteen year-old to be like 'actually, you can't have this turkey for your family, like that's not… you can't!' And so I had a lot of people get really upset. And one person in particular, she was like 'I'm going to stay in this line until you give me my turkey and like I'm not leaving.' And we were like 'that's not possible because then these people who ordered ahead will not have their turkey for Thanksgiving that they planned ahead to have,' and she was like 'well that's too bad I'm going to plant in place until you give it to me.' And I don't remember exactly how we compromised, but we did, we gave her maybe half of what she wanted.
DB: And you would think that would be it, she paid, and then she threw 75 cents in Kristin's face!
KS: A restaurant full of people watched it happen and she ran out. And so it was like too fast for anyone to react, call the police…
DB: Kristin and her manager were so shocked by this that they had to cool down..
KS: Ok go into the walk in cooler and cool off and then like I went in and was like so stunned by what had happened and quickly followed by my boss who was just hysterically sobbing because it was just like a scary situation to have someone throw change at one of your employees. Like she didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to do. And then I just went back to working.
TD: Some people definitely react to the fact that oh well so you expect these people to serve you on Thanksgiving and have to go to work, and I have to admit that is something I do feel bad about.
KS: You know what you get into when you work there. Like people who work at Toys R Us, RIP, had to work on Black Friday. You kind of know when you get into that, and so when I started working at Boston Market I was like yeah, no, I'm going to work on Thanksgiving. That's fully a thing. I think like anything, if you're pleasant and nice and you say happy Thanksgiving and you're grateful for your food, I think like you don't have to feel too bad.
DB: So what were the reactions you got when you told people you get your Thanksgiving at Boston Market?
TD: A wide variety. Usually disgust.
DB: Disgust?
TD: I don't think it's anything against Boston Market, but I think it goes against a lot of people's sense of what Thanksgiving should be. People are used to the tradition of spending the day cooking. They're used to the nail biting moment when you pull the turkey out and hope that it's not too dry and that you've done it right. And we've done that ourselves many times. But you know, eventually we just realized that we got more out of the holiday, we got more family time, we had more peace in our household, if we had food that was pre-prepared.
DB: I asked Tara what she thinks about all this.
DB: What do you think about people who end up eating out on Thanksgiving. Maybe they end up at a chain restaurant or even a fast food restaurant. How do you feel about that?
TARA: Well, like I said, I think whatever works for you on Thanksgiving... what's important I think is that you're spending time with the people you want to spend time with.
MEREDITH GOLDSTEIN: I'm someone who loves chain restaurants and it does not bother me at all to spend a birthday in a place where I can order the exact same thing every time.
DB: Next up, a story from Meredith Goldstein, the relationship advice columnist from The Boston Globe, and the host of their Love Letters podcast. She's also the author of Can't Help Myself.
MG: I think we were stir crazy. From my memory, we were stir crazy and didn't know where to be.
DB: A few years ago, Meredith spent her Thanksgiving with her mother.
MG: My mom and I were in Maryland, where she was still living and I had grown up, and we went to Baltimore's inner harbor for Thanksgiving.
DB: Baltimore's inner harbor is a big sightseeing hub with tons of restaurants. It's touristy and busy and it's where Meredith and her mother found themselves on Thanksgiving.
MG: ESPN Zone, sort of like came up as like, it was just neon. I mean that's just what I remember thinking. It was like, whoa, that is big.
And I think we were walking around in that area and some restaurants were crowded, some were closed, and all of a sudden it was like, well, here we go.
And I should start by saying that I'm not a sports fan, and ESPN Zone is like not my maybe first choice with all the screens. And I remember - you know it was kind of - we were feeling a little bit dark about it. You look around and there are other people here too, and everybody was like a little bit "island of misfit toys," like these are people who were not celebrating that sort of American-style Thanksgiving.
So if you're Jewish on Christmas...You're supposed to get your Chinese food, go to the movies, go be Jewish. But Thanksgiving, there's this whole other thing where it's like, you're supposed to have a place to go, you're supposed to like get your big turkey, you're supposed to see family and the family is supposed to be big, right?
So I think there's a little bit more anxiety or at least there was in my family at that point that if we couldn't be together, or if there wasn't enough family to justify cooking, where would we go?
I don't know, I just found that like being in a place where no one quite belonged on a holiday where no one was supposed to be out in that way was - I don't know, probably way less depressing than the two of us just eating at home.
At the ESPN Zone, I feel like it was more of a fries situation. Whatever it was, it was probably somehow more calories than I would've had if we made Thanksgiving.
To wind up at the inner harbor in Baltimore, which is already so touristy, at a place where it was like one massive screen after another...You know what though, it was like a super great distraction for two people who probably needed one.
I think it was a weird time in our lives where like my mom was single, I was certainly single but I was younger, probably college-aged, maybe a little bit older. And after my parents got a divorce, we were it. We needed to feel rooted somewhere?
And it sort of proved that like, not to be cheesy about it, but like home is where your person is and even if I was with my mother at an ESPN Zone… I was still with my mother and that's sort of all that matters.
It's always the weird ones that you remember, right? So like the years that I had like a lovely turkey and sat with family and everybody bonded, sadly I don't remember those as much because they're as they were supposed to be, at least in terms of what we're told with holidays.
I think probably the best part of it was we could go home, not have to do any dishes, and get in front of the TV, which is kind of maybe also where we wanted to be.
DB: I gotta say, I really didn't want to hang up with Tara on the talk-line.
DB: Is there anybody on the hotline who's not the nicest person in the world?
TARA: I would... I'd have to say you're not going to find an unpleasant person here. I'm telling you, we love doing this. It's just a great... you have people who are calling who want help. They want your expertise and it's joyful to be able to share that. You want them to have a great Thanksgiving. You want them to experience that. And just... have really happy memories.
DB: It's so funny to me just because almost every other customer hotline you would call.. The cable company, an airline, things like that, it's just a miserable experience. And I feel like I want to call just to feel good. I don't even need to make a turkey, I just want to talk to all of you! I live in New York, so this is a nice refreshing change!
How do you normally wrap up these calls? What's your standard line?
TARA: I usually say... 'Thank you for calling, and is there anything else that I can answer for you today?' And then they'll say yes or no, and I'll say 'okay, well it's been a pleasure speaking with you. If you have any further questions, you can call us back or certainly visit butterball.com, which is open 24 hours a day.'
DB: I'm going to call back just to feel good about life.
TARA: (laughs) Alright. Please do.
DB: Thank you, and happy Thanksgiving.
TARA: And thank you! Happy Thanksgiving to you too.
CREDITS
DB: This episode was cooked up by Amy Pedulla, Anna Mazarakis, Allison Behringer, Sarah Wyman, and me.
Our carver was Gianna Palmer.
Casey Holford and John DeLore are the gravy on top.
The executive chefs are Chris Bannon, Jenny Radelet, Laura Meyer, and me.
We're specially thankful for Mallory Gutowski, Chuck Palmer, and Dan Pashman and our friends at the Sporkful podcast.
Household Name is a production of