What are parasocial relationships? Why an imaginary friendship with a celebrity can actually be healthy, according to experts

• Parasocial relationships are imagined friendships or relationships with a celebrity or public figure.
• As long as healthy boundaries are implemented, parasocial relationships can actually be beneficial.

If you've been on TikTok lately, you've probably heard about parasocial relationships: one-way, imaginary friendships with celebrities.

People in parasocial relationships may feel proud of their favorite celebrity's success, look to them as a role model, and engage in imaginary conversations with them. There's a common misconception that this is unhealthy, but it's actually quite common and more healthy than you think.

The vast majority of parasocial relationships are healthy and beneficial, says Shira Gabriel, a psychology professor at the University at Buffalo. Anyone can have a parasocial relationship with any famous figure – from musicians to football players to politicians.

Signs of a parasocial relationship

Just because you're a fan of someone famous doesn't mean you have a parasocial relationship with them — the distinction is a bit murky, Gabriel says. But the main thing to look at is the degree of emotional involvement.

For example, if you feel proud of them when they succeed and annoyed when someone hurts them, that indicates a parasocial relationship, whereas not feeling particularly affected by what happens to them means you're a fan.

Other key signs of parasocial relationships include:

• You're interested in a celebrity's life, and want to read articles about them.
• You root for good things to happen to the celebrity.
• You admire the celebrity and want to develop more of their positive attributes.
• You imagine meeting the celebrity and having conversations with them where you take their advice.
• It feels like the celebrity keeps you company.
• You write letters or a diary directed at the celebrity.
• If you don't see the celebrity in the news or on TV for a while, you miss them.

For example, a football fan who has a parasocial relationship with Tom Brady might cry when he loses a game.

One simple way to look at it: If you think of a celebrity the same way you think of your friends, that's a sign of a parasocial relationship, Gabriel says.

How a parasocial relationship can help someone

Parasocial relationships can help you in a bunch of different ways, including:

They can help you feel less alone

Parasocial relationships may help you feel connected to others and like you have someone to talk to, providing comfort and companionship, says Sally Theran, an associate professor of psychology at Wellesley College.

For instance, one 2022 study suggested that the number of parasocial relationships increased during the pandemic, possibly helping people to cope when they had limited opportunities to see friends and family.

However, it's best to have both parasocial and traditional relationships, Gabriel notes. After all, parasocial relationships can offer a sense of connection and emotional attachment, but there are certain things only a real-life friend can give you, like a hug when you're feeling down.

They're low-effort and low-risk

You can choose when you want to engage with parasocial relationships and when you don't – so when you're feeling tired or worn down, you don't have to be worrying about someone else, Gabriel says.

Parasocial relationships can also be less risky than real relationships, since celebrities aren't going to reject you, Gabriel says.

They can inspire you to improve yourself

People who have parasocial relationships may use their chosen celebrity as a role model to improve their own lives. For instance, Theran notes that someone who has a parasocial relationship with Reese Witherspoon may look up to her when making career decisions.

When offered a new gig, you might consider, "what would Reese do and would Reese take this job," Theran says.

Witherspoon, who has had a very successful career, can be a good model for professional women. In other words, having a parasocial relationship with her has the potential to help you grow.

They can make you feel more confident

People tend to admire the celebrities they have parasocial relationships with, Gabriel says. For example, if you're LGBTQ+ and live in a conservative area, you might form a bond with a singer who is openly gay.

Subsequently, you might actually feel good about yourself because of your attachment to that celebrity.

It's like feeling proud when someone from your hometown wins a medal in the Olympics, Gabriel says. Because you identify with those around you, having a relationship with someone you admire can make you feel better and more confident.

"Celebrities provide a way for people who want to feel a certain way about themselves to feel that way," Gabriel says, "Just by linking the celebrity to the self."

When to be worried about a parasocial relationship

For the most part, there's little evidence that parasocial relationships are harmful. One 2020 meta analysis suggested there are no strong correlations between social deficiencies and parasocial relationships.

It's very rare for a parasocial relationship to turn dangerous, Theran says. When parasocial relationships do become concerning, the fault is usually due to an underlying mental health concern, not the parasocial relationship itself.

For instance, John Hinckley Jr., Ronald Reagan's would-be assassin, shot the former president in 1981 because he wanted to impress famous actress Jodie Foster, Theran says. But that's because he had other severe mental health issues: his actions weren't the result of the potential parasocial relationship.

"You can certainly find pathology in anything," Gabriel says, but it isn't more common in parasocial relationships "than it is for any other thing in this world."

If you are worried about someone in your life who's engaged in a parasocial relationship, keep an eye out to see if they seem to be losing contact with reality, Theran says.

That could show up as someone believing that Taylor Swift is sending them messages in her songwriting, or becoming convinced that they will one day marry Selena Gomez, Theran says.

If these signs pop up, it could indicate delusions connected to a more serious mental health condition. If this is the case, it's worth speaking to a mental health professional.

And remember, much of a celebrity's image is carefully curated, Theran says. "You're having a parasocial relationship not necessarily with that celebrity but with the images that they present," she says.

She advises that parents and guardians of adolescents remind their kids to be critical about images and depictions of a celebrity, particularly in social media.

Parasocial relationships may also become dangerous when they involve stalking, obsessing, or cause distress or impairment to yourself or those around you.

Insider's takeaway

Parasocial relationships get a bad rap online, but for most people, these bonds are nothing to be concerned about. In fact, they can actually help people feel more connected and less alone.

"This is a very healthy, very normal way to interact with the modern world," Gabriel says. "We see very little evidence at all that these things are harmful to people."

Of course, take any parasocial relationship with a grain of salt. If engaging in the relationship involves a disconnect from reality, it could be time to speak to a professional.