Weight discrimination may shorten your life — here are 5 ways to confront the stigma and stop the stress from affecting your health

• Weight stigma is the unfair discrimination against someone because of their body size.
• Weight stigma comes up in various ways, like not getting hired or not being approved for a house.

Weight bias is not discussed nearly enough, especially considering that it's experienced by about 40% of adults.

Also called weight stigma or, colloquially, fatphobia, weight bias is prejudices, stereotyping, and discrimination against someone due to their weight. Weight stigma has been problematic for centuries: stemming from scientists who practiced eugenics who claimed higher weights were proof of Black people's "inferiority."

And even though racial discrimination is now illegal, weight discrimination is often still seen as socially acceptable, despite weight discrimination being associated with a near 60% increased chance of mortality.

For example, plus-size model Tess Holliday has been the victim of fatphobic messages on her Instagram, where people told her that her large size inspired them to lose weight.

Weight discrimination can seriously impact peoples' lives, making them more prone to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and death.

People with higher BMIs are most likely to experience weight stigma, but this bias can affect people of any size, and fuels toxic diet culture and eating disorders.

Whether you've experienced weight bias yourself or just want to learn how to be a better ally to larger-bodied people, here are a few examples of what weight bias can look like and what you can do to stop it.

Examples of weight stigma

Not everyone experiences weight stigma in the same way — it can vary in severity depending on your identity or relationships. Even if you don't experience weight stigma in one aspect of your life, you might experience it in another.

1. Amongst friends and family

One of the most ways hurtful weight stigma shows up is as biased comments between friends and family members.

For instance, a friend might complain to you about how unhappy they feel with their body, even though their body is much smaller than yours, says Emily Capelli, a psychotherapist and founder of Philadelphia-based therapy practice Body Love Therapy.

"The subtext of that one is, 'I don't want to look like you,'" Capelli says, "which is very, very hurtful."

Regardless of body size, you are subject to diet culture, and it's possible that folks in bodies of all sizes will make these comments without malicious intent.

That said, it's problematic to discuss a diet or weight loss in front of someone living in a larger body because, even if this is not the intention, it implies that a larger body or higher weight is shameful.

2. In the workplace

In most states, it's still legal for workplaces, restaurants, and even housing to discriminate on the basis of weight — which has led to a host of inequities.

For instance, Rebecca Puhl, the Deputy Director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Health, points out that people in larger bodies are less likely to be hired or promoted and more likely to be terminated than thinner workers.

The workplace can also be home to lots of well-meaning but damaging diet talk, says Zoë Bisbing, a psychotherapist and founder of Body-Positive Therapy NYC.

Note: Bisbing notes that she doesn't live in a large body herself, a privilege that's important to acknowledge when discussing weight stigma.

"People are talking about the Whole 30 they're going to do, or all the weight they put on over Thanksgiving right in front of somebody that's living in a larger body," Bisbing says. "Comments like this are made as though they're not even there, and, again, that's very dehumanizing."

3. At the doctor's office

Weight bias also frequently pops up in medicine. Research has shown that doctors are prone to believe stereotypes about people with large bodies like that they're lazy and don't follow medical advice.

In turn, patients with large bodies often feel stigmatized by their doctors, to the extent that they sometimes avoid or delay medical care, Puhl says.

Even well-meaning doctors can perpetuate weight stigma. For instance, just calling a patient obese or overweight can be harmful, Bisbing says.

"Using this word, they're medicalizing fatness and transmitting a message to even a child that there's something inherently wrong with you. Your body is not a good body – there's something wrong with it," Bisbing says.

In other cases, doctors may miss crucial diagnoses due to weight bias. For instance, some people with large bodies have reported doctors missed signs of cancer because they initially attributed symptoms to the person's weight.

4. At school

Weight-based bullying is one of the most common types of bullying kids experience at school. That can include making teasing comments about someone's size, calling them names, or even ignoring them, Bisbing says.

And it's not just little kids, either. Research has shown that even in college, students rate larger-bodied individuals as less academically successful than their thinner peers.

5. At shops

Many clothing stores don't carry items that larger-bodied people can fit into. Likewise, larger-bodied people might not find standard chairs or tables comfortable, and they rarely see positive role models on TV.

This type of ubiquitous bias is called institutionalized weight stigma. And while this stigma might not be as obvious as someone calling you names, it's still harmful, Bisbing says.

"You are getting a nonverbal message that there's something wrong with you, there's something wrong with your body, your body's too big to be here," Bisbing says.

How to respond to weight stigma

It can be tough to figure out what to do when someone fat shames you. Here are a few tips to keep in mind if it happens.

1. Avoid self-blame

"Many people who experience weight stigma internalize these experiences," says Puhl. Over time, they may start to believe there really is something wrong with their bodies.

But instead of blaming yourself, remember that weight stigma is the other person's problem. Practice self-compassion and self-care. "Be kind to yourself, even if others aren't," Puhl advises.

If you're struggling to practice self-compassion, Capelli says one concrete method of self-care is to take care of your physical body. "It might sound superficial, but buying clothes that feel good to you, having a style that feels really fun to you, is such an important part of acceptance," she says.

2. Build a supportive community

Having people to turn to who can support you in harmful situations is key to maintaining your mental health.

"Make sure you have a body positive community," Bisbing says. "Whether that's online or with real people, because you should not have to face that kind of bias or discrimination alone."

3. Confront the person who stigmatized you

It's not easy to confront others about weight bias. "Advocating for oneself can be really hard and often requires interpersonal skills, therapy, and support," Bisbing says.

But if you do feel comfortable speaking up, it can be hugely empowering. "You can say, just simply, 'That feels fatphobic,' or 'That hurts my feelings'," Capelli suggests. "This falls under setting boundaries with people and I think it's helpful to say that setting boundaries is a skill. Like riding a bike, you can work on this skill."

If you decide to confront someone, it might be a good idea to write down your thoughts and feelings about the situation beforehand so you can express yourself more clearly, Puhl says.

4. Change the conversation

If you're not ready to directly confront someone about their fat shaming, try to find ways to change the subject when the topic of bodies comes up.

Alternatively, you could simply end the conversation by walking away. This isn't always a viable option, Bisbing says — for instance, if you experience a lot of fat shaming from family members, you can't necessarily just decide to never see them again to avoid these subjects.

But if you want to, you are well within your rights to leave a harmful conversation.

"It's perfectly okay to walk away," Capelli says.

5. Speak up when you witness someone else experiencing weight stigma

If you're not the victim of weight stigma, but you witness a harmful interaction, you should speak up if possible, Bisbing says.

"I think it's great to say, 'hey, come on, what are you doing?'" Bisbing says. "Finding some way to be authentic and also say, 'I don't think we should be talking about bodies. I'm not comfortable with that,' or, 'That was out of line.'"

But, again, if you don't feel comfortable speaking up or it's not an option for you, you can still change the subject.

"Just find a way to pivot, get out of that conversation as quickly as you can. It's not helping anybody," Bisbing says.

And remember to continue to educate yourself and challenge your own biases, Puhl says. "Be respectful to people of all body sizes," she advises. "Lead by example and model respectful communication."

Insider's takeaway

If you've experienced weight stigma, you're not alone. Weight bias is an incredibly common form of discrimination that can show up in the workplace, at the doctor's office, and even between friends.

Remember that experiencing weight stigma doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

"The most important thing is taking care of yourself," Bisbing says, "Do that combination of walking away and saying something and just reminding yourself that the problem is not my body, even though it can feel that way sometimes. The problem is this thing called weight stigma."