Relationship experts share 5 ways to spend Valentine's Day when you're single

• Valentine's Day on February 14 is a time to recognize not only romantic relationships but friendships, too.
• Celebrate the day by sharing the love with your close friends.

There's nothing wrong with being single, despite what rom-coms might have you believe. But it might not feel like that on days like Valentine's Day.

February 14th is a challenge for many people worldwide, including those who are single, have recently lost a partner, gone through a bad breakup, or are dealing with a rough spot in their relationship.

After all, Valentine's Day puts a spotlight on people who aren't in a relationship, says Angela Snyder, a clinical psychologist who works with both individuals and couples to improve their relationships.

"For people who don't want to be single, and yet they are, that spotlight can illuminate feelings of shame, self-doubt, and hopelessness," she says.

Therefore, if you're feeling down this Valentine's Day here are some expert tips — from buying yourself chocolates to hanging out with friends — that may help.

1. Love yourself

You don't need to love someone else on Valentine's Day. Instead, take time to love yourself.

"Make yourself the number one of the day," says TJ Mocci, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Octave Therapy Practice.

Whether it's going for a morning walk, listening to an empowering song, grabbing your favorite coffee, buying yourself flowers (as Miley Cyrus recommends), or all of the above, the idea is to focus on what makes you most happy.

And don't get sucked into the spending mania: You don't have to drop a lot of money to feel good about yourself. "I think anyone can do some sort of small self-care that focuses on putting themselves first in some small way," Mocci says.

2. Find distractions

If you're not ready to get in the Valentine's spirit, that's okay. Just try to avoid things that could upset you, Mocci says.

For instance, if your workplace is adorned with hearts and chocolate, try to spend your day working on a compelling assignment to distract yourself from the interior design, Mocci suggests.

If everyone keeps talking about their romantic dinner plans, try chatting up a colleague about an upcoming sports game or art exhibit.

This deliberate distraction can help you avoid unnecessary feelings of sadness or loneliness. Just be careful not to isolate yourself from others in a way that might make your symptoms worse, Mocci says.

3. Watch out for cognitive distortions

Cognitive distortions are unhealthy thinking patterns which can pop up on Valentine's Day when you're thinking about your romantic life and what it might look like in the future.

"For example, we might catastrophize and jump to conclusions: I'm single now so I always will be," Snyder says. "Or overgeneralizing: I had a bad date last week, I keep going out with dates from people I meet online, they're all gonna be just as disappointing."

These thoughts can amplify your fears and make you feel insecure on Valentine's Day. Instead, take a step back and assess the real likelihood of your worst fears actually happening. Then relax knowing that the likelihood is low, or nonexistent.

4. Complete acts of kindness for someone else

We tend to feel good when other people are kind to us, but the opposite is true, too: Acts of kindness towards somebody else boost our moods and reduce depression.

So, if you're feeling low on Valentine's Day, consider redistributing the love. Make a Valentine's card for a friend, send a loved one flowers, or plan a get-together with your buddies and tell them why they're important to you, Mocci suggests.

"We express love in all different types of ways," she says. "On Valentine's Day it's important to remember it can be about the celebration between friends, between family members, between partners."

5. Notice and name your feelings

Though it might not sound fun, Valentine's Day is a good opportunity to check in with your emotions.

"Do you feel really sad and down that you're alone, or angry because you were recently left or a relationship didn't work out?" Snyder says. "Perhaps you'll identify with feeling jealous because you have friends that are in really good relationships or marriages, or maybe you'll identify being happy to be alone."

Naming your feelings can help keep them from bubbling over, Snyder says. It also helps validate you, reminding you it's okay to feel what you feel.

Snyder advises giving yourself between 10 to 15 minutes to reflect in a structured way, such as by writing in a journal or talking to a friend. Then, plan to do something to lift your mood, like dancing to positive music or having a comforting cup of tea.

This can help prevent you from stewing in your negative emotions or getting self-critical when the goal is simply to identify your emotions without judgment.

If you find you have a hard time staying positive with this exercise, don't push yourself, Snyder says. "You tried, and you can try again another day when it might be more effective for you."

Insider's takeaway

On Valentine's Day, let yourself feel your feelings, whatever they are.

But if you don't like the way you're feeling or you're apprehensive about the holiday, plan some fun activities like meeting up with friends or giving yourself some TLC.

Overall, remember that almost 50% of American adults are single as of 2022. "You are not alone if you are single," Snyder says. "You are in good company."