- People with a self-serving bias take praise for positive events and blame their mistakes on others.
- This bias can boost your self-image, but it can also cause plenty of tension in your relationships.
Do you know someone who seems oblivious to the consequences of their own actions?
If they take all the credit for successes, but failure is never their fault, you might say that person has a strong self-serving bias.
Self-serving bias is a type of cognitive bias — a skewed thinking pattern that steers you toward snap judgments. Like the name suggests, a self-serving bias means you focus on information that serves your interests and makes you look good.
The self-serving bias can do wonders for your ego, but it probably won't make you the most popular person in town. The good news is, if you want to make a change, you can teach yourself to rely less on this kind of thinking.
Read on to learn how self-serving bias might show up in your life and how to handle it.
Examples of self-serving bias
Self-serving bias prompts you to interpret any positive event as the result of your own talents and effort and blame negative events on other people or outside forces.
Here's how this bias might play out in real life:
1. Relay race
Say you and your team are running multiple relay races. The first time, your team wins, and you tell yourself the victory was all thanks to you. Yes, your teammates participated, but it was your legendary speed that earned them first place.
Unfortunately, your team loses the second race. Of course, the loss wasn't your fault at all. The same track you ran on a few hours ago suddenly became slippery, and that's why you tripped. And your teammates must have been tired, since they were way too slow.
2. Marital conflict
You feel like you do all the work of keeping your marriage alive, like planning dates and remembering anniversaries. Yes, your partner takes care of the minor stuff, like laundry and dishes and watching the kids, but all the memorable milestones of your relationship have been your doing.
Your spouse's lack of romantic effort has caused a lot of fights lately. Okay, so you're usually the one who gets snippy first, but you wouldn't feel so upset if your partner didn't keep dropping the ball. They're the one sabotaging this relationship, not you.
3. Politics
You're running for reelection as mayor. During a speech, you remind the crowd of how your city's economy has thrived since you've taken office. They can thank your hard work and streamlined budget for the improvements they've noticed.
Then a journalist lists a bunch of statistics that suggest the economy isn't actually doing so well. As the crowd murmurs disapprovingly, you assign the blame where it belongs: the opposing political party. You wanted a bigger budget, but they sabotaged you. Any economic fallout from the budget cuts was completely out of your hands.
Why does it happen?
Everyone has at least a little self-serving bias — and for a good reason.
Often, it's an attempt to protect yourself, according to Chris Boobier, counselor at CRB Counselling. You have an innate drive to like yourself, so it makes sense that you'd want to associate yourself with fortunate events and escape blame for misfortune.
In particular, if you grew up with trauma, you may find it very difficult to be accountable and accept responsibility for actions that press on an already fragile insecure self, Boobier says.
That said, you may fall back on this bias anytime you feel as if your self-esteem is under threat.
Additionally, self-serving bias is often strongest when:
- Cause and effect are ambiguous: Maybe your business got popular because you're a brilliant entrepreneur — or simply due to luck. You can't know for sure, but crediting your own efforts can motivate you to keep working hard.
- The event was negative: When you hurt others or make mistakes, the guilt or embarrassment can damage your self-image. You may find it's harder to accept blame for a mistake or loss than share credit for a win.
- You played an active role: If someone insults you, it's usually fair to say they started the fight. But if you begin a conversation by teasing someone else, you'll more than likely have to do some mental gymnastics to convince yourself — and any witnesses — that you weren't to blame.
Potential benefits
Self-serving bias can be good in moderation, according to Kara Nassour, therapist at Shaded Bough Counseling.
After all, it's both normal and healthy to take some pride in your accomplishments. Likewise, you don't want to blame yourself for problems you didn't cause. So, self-serving bias may help keep your self-esteem strong and positive across different scenarios.
A self-serving bias has two main benefits: self-enhancement and self-protection.
Self-enhancement
"When we feel that we are personally responsible for positive outcomes, it can be an opportunity to celebrate our hard work," says Anisha Patel-Dunn, psychiatrist and chief medical officer at LifeStance Health.
Say you studied hard and aced your test at school. Yes, your teacher may have been in a good mood while grading your essay, but you put in plenty of effort, too. When you acknowledge the benefits of your studying, you not only gain self-confidence, but also insight on how to best prepare for future tests.
Self-protection
It can often be difficult to admit you've made a mistake. You may feel:
- Guilty over the impact of your actions
- Ashamed of behavior that doesn't match your values
- Disappointed in your lack of skills
- Anxious about how others will judge you
If you believe every negative event is your fault, you may begin to feel hopeless and self-critical — especially if you live with certain mental health conditions, like depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Shifting the blame to an outside force, however, is your mind's way of protecting you from these complicated and painful emotions, according to Brenda Delmonte, therapist at The Counseling Perch.
In short, self-serving bias can help you maintain a stable sense of identity in the face of short-term mistakes and setbacks, according to Nassour.
Potential downsides
Despite its benefits, self-serving bias can get in the way of building a clear picture of your abilities and taking responsibility for mistakes.
Your mind's desire to assess yourself accurately can sometimes clash with the impulse to paint yourself in the best possible light.
A few drawbacks of self-serving bias include:
Overconfidence
When you ignore how other people contributed to your success, you may set yourself up for future failure. Even if you contributed a lot to the team effort, you probably didn't do everything by yourself.
As a result, you may develop unreasonable expectations for what a single person can accomplish.
Lost opportunities for growth
"Always finding fault in other people and outside forces leaves little opportunity for self-growth," Delmonte says.
When you don't recognize your mistakes, you're more likely to repeat them. You also miss the chance to get constructive feedback that can help you improve.
Damage to your reputation
You may believe your own hype, but that doesn't mean everyone else will.
One study considered how people perceive someone who exaggerates their talents or accomplishments. According to the results, people tend to view those who embellish their role in successes as more immoral, unintelligent, and unfriendly.
Study participants tended to judge people negatively whether they embellished on purpose or as a result of unconscious bias — but they judged people who knowingly misrepresented themselves more harshly.
Unresolved conflict
It's important to apologize for your mistakes, even if you didn't mean to hurt anyone.
Maybe you didn't mean to insult your cousin's cooking, but her feelings are still hurt, all the same.
Instead of picking a fight and saying she "ruined the mood" — ignoring your own role in making the dinner awkward — you might quickly improve the evening by saying sorry and admitting your joke fell flat.
How to overcome it
Self-serving bias can be hard to push back against, but these tips from mental health professionals can help:
Practice analyzing your thoughts
Logical, unbiased thinking takes practice. Nassour recommends taking stock of the situation whenever a project succeeds or fails.
Ask yourself:
- "What did I do that worked?"
- "What could I have done better?"
- "What was outside my control?"
As you make a habit of self-reflection, you may find it becomes easier to explore problems objectively.
Be gentle with yourself
Nobody wins every time. We all make mistakes, Boobier says.
But if you're under a lot of pressure, any request for accountability can feel like a personal attack — especially if you have a history of being punished for things outside your control.
When something goes wrong, try to show yourself the same grace and compassion you'd offer another person in your situation — and remember, the occasional failure doesn't erase your worth as a human being.
Work on your self-esteem
When you have a healthy self-image, the occasional mistake doesn't threaten your identity, and you don't need to take all the glory to like yourself.
That's why Delmonte recommends working to improve your self-esteem and confidence.
A few strategies that can help with this include:
- Doing activities you've already mastered: For instance, you might restart an old hobby or cook your favorite recipe.
- Building supportive relationships: This might involve seeking out people who cheer you on, not drag you down.
- Practicing self-care: Treating yourself gently — like you would a friend — can help you remember you deserve a break and a treat now and then.
Show gratitude
If you have a tendency to hog all the credit, Boobier recommends making a conscious effort to praise others. Thank them for their help, and make sure everyone in the group gets their due rewards.
By appreciating others, you can build deeper connections with them. Better relationships can, in turn, help you feel more secure of your place in the group, according to Boobier.
Insider's takeaway
Self-serving bias means you have a tendency to take personal responsibility for positive events, but not negative ones. This kind of thinking helps boost your self-esteem and protects you from feelings of guilt or embarrassment.
However, biased thinking can give you a misleading picture of what really happened. It can push you to become overconfident and reject accountability for your actions.
If you think a mental health condition or past trauma may play a part in your biased thinking, a therapist can help you address these underlying issues. With time and effort, you can overcome self-serving bias and see the events of your life more clearly.