If you get a little aroused when someone compliments you, you might have a praise kink

• If you get physically aroused when someone gives you compliments, you might have a praise kink.
• A praise kink can also be a cornerstone of dom/sub relationships when you combine it with powerplay.

For most people, getting compliments or receiving praise feels great and validating. Everyone wants to hear that they're doing a great job and get recognized for their strengths or accomplishments at least once in a while.

But in some cases, praise can elicit a sexual response, making someone feel super turned on, and it can become an important part of one's sex life. Enter: praise kink.

If you find yourself getting aroused when praised, you may have a praise kink. Oftentimes, this occurs in conjunction with other kinky practices, such as BDSM.

Here's what you need to know about the praise kink, and how to experiment with it in the bedroom.

What is a praise kink?

It's important to define what a kink is in the first place. "In order for something to be considered a kink, it must evoke a sexual arousal response and be something that is not typically considered a sexual act," says Stefani Goerlich, a certified sex therapist and board-certified clinical sexologist at Bound Together Counseling.

So if you have a praise kink, you may get turned on or even physically aroused if you receive compliments or other words of affirmation, Goerlich says.

Most people will appreciate and enjoy receiving compliments, partially because it's how we're wired. "When we receive praise from anyone, it activates the ventral striatum, one of the reward centers of the brain. The striatum then releases dopamine, which triggers a physiological response in the brain very similar to an orgasm, and leaves us feeling happy and self-satisfied," Goerlich says.

Goerlich says some signs of a praise kink include:

• Experiencing arousal responses — such as flushing or genital reactions — when being praised
• Purposely seeking opportunities to serve or please others, specifically because you want to receive praise so it evokes an arousal response
• Using praise as a form of flirtation or foreplay

Praise kinks can exist on a spectrum from giving and receiving more compliments in bed to being the cornerstone of a dom/sub relationship.

Prase kinks in dom/sub relationships

In BDSM practices, a praise kink involves some type of erotic power exchange between a submissive (sub) partner and dominant (dom) partner, says Lee Phillips, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in private practice.

"This exchange focuses on the dynamic of the consensual difference in power between the partners both from a physical and mental aspect," Phillips says. The praise can go either way, depending on which partner has the praise kink.

For example, if the sub is being spanked, they may say, "Yes daddy, you're doing such a great job, you're the best," Philips says. Or, a dom may say to a sub, "You are such a good boy."

"Good boy" and "good girl" are quintessential phrases associated with praise kinks. "In many dom/sub relationships, the use of 'girl' and 'boy' is used to connote a bottoming or submissive position within the relationship. For these people, 'good boy/girl' can feel like high praise," Goerlich says.

Everyone experiences praise kinks differently. For some people, their praise kink may be so intense that they need words of affirmation or praise to reach orgasm, Phillips says. For others, it's just the icing on the cake.

How to experiment with praise in the bedroom

Kink is very individualized, so it really comes down to how you and your partner(s) like to experiment with it and what feels best. Here are some tips for experimenting with praise kinks in the bedroom.

1. Talk about it first

Before experimenting with praise kinks — or any other kinks, for that matter — it's important to have an open, honest conversation to discuss consent and boundaries.

Ultimately, you want to be direct with asking for what you want. To ease into it, Phillips recommends validating your partner first, letting them know how much you love having sex with them, but that you want to get creative and incorporate praise into your sex life.

2. Be specific about your desires

Since a praise kink is heavily focused on words, you may want to discuss any specific words or phrases that you love, or ones that you absolutely do not want to be involved.

You can also talk about whether dom/sub power plays are part of the picture, too, if you haven't already. "When you want to take on the role of the dom or sub, be specific with the phrases you want to use because some of the phrases may be a turn-off, or they can be triggering," Phillips says.

This is especially the case with phrases like "good boy" or "good girl," because unless someone has specifically consented to this, it could come off more condescending than endearing, says Goerlich. Ultimately, talking about these desires and limits ahead of time will make the sexual experience itself more pleasurable.

3. Give your partner compliments in bed

If your partner is the one with the praise kink, shower them with compliments and use positive phrases in sexual situations.

Phillips says this can focus on how great they are in bed, how amazing their body looks, or how much they're cared for and loved.

For example, you might tell them how well-endowed they are, how good they taste, how sexy they look while they're performing a certain act, or how hard they make you orgasm, he says.

4. Compliment their appearance in a unique way

Someone with a praise kink may love getting compliments that involve appearance in ways that don't focus on specific physical traits, which "can go a long way emotionally without coming across as if you're evaluating their body," Goerlich says.

She says some ideas are:

• "I can't want to show you off tonight."
• "Seeing you right now makes me weak in the knees."
• "You turn heads every time you enter a room."
• "I love watching other people watch you."
• "The way you move is so sexy."
• "You have a magnetic quality that I can't define and can't resist."

5. Give praise outside of the bedroom

You don't need to wait for sex to appreciate your partner, and giving praise outside of the bedroom can help lay the foundation for sexy moments, Goerlich says. This can serve as foreplay and help your partner know that they're valued and appreciated all the time, not just during sex.

She says some ideas are:

• "You handled that situation really well."
• "I appreciate the way you..."
• "My life is better for having you in it."
• "The way you handled that was graceful, strong, and sexy."
• "You make me happy."

Insider's takeaway

A praise kink is when someone gets sexually aroused by compliments or praise. The kink is incorporated into the person's sex life and romantic relationships, and it's often (but not always) linked to BDSM kinks and power plays.

Consent and communication are crucial when it comes to kinky sex, so don't forget to discuss your desires and boundaries with your partner beforehand.