India’s favourite Sexpert reveals what the country’s best kept secrets are!

Dr Mahinder Watsa is sort of a celebrity in India. A gynecologist by professional training, this 91-year old (Yes, he was born in 1924!) doctor, residing in Mumbai, is perhaps the custodian of India’s best kept secrets ‘behind closed doors’. In a career spanning over seven decades, he’s spent six of them counseling via his columns, first on women’s reproductive health in women’s magazines such as Femina and Flair and then on sexual matters on men’s magazine, Fantasy. It was during his stint as a columnist with Fantasy that he realised the dire straits as far as India’s lack of sexual knowledge was concerned. In 1980, he began his most popular stint, as the columnist of the ‘Ask the Sexpert’ in Mumbai Mirror, which are a rage today for the witty retorts to some of the ‘weirdest’ sexual problems that people of the country confront him with. But, make no mistake, despite the absurdity of these ‘sexual problems’, he makes it a point to address each one with the utmost seriousness. He says, “It is a problem for someone, which needs a solution. I ensure I provide them with that.”

So, at the age of 92, when his first ever book, aptly titled, It’s Normal, which has been published by Penguin Random House India, is all set to hit the stands, Business Insider caught up with him to ask what sex really means to India.

Q) You have really been there and seen that. From the India of 1930s to the technology-infested, current face of the country. How has sex changed for the people of this country since then?

It’s great the way technology has flowed into the country via the internet. Internet has not only reached the urban, educated populace, but has touched numerous lives in rural India as well. And that is bound to have brought in significant changes to the way people approach sex today, not only in urban India but also in the rural areas. For example, given the easily available Internet connection, people across the country watch plenty of porn. What was earlier an ‘under the table’, one would get hold of porn cassettes and later DVDs clandestinely to watch them, is today just a click away, even on mobile phones. A recent survey has revealed that as compared to earlier, let’s say in the 1960s, when only 6% of college girls would indulge in pre-marital sex in a place like Pune, today that number has increased by leaps, all across India. Students earlier would have to go to sex workers for a little bit of fun just as their exams got over. In fact, the sex-work business would be at its best, when, for instance, in Pune, college exams would get over.

Q) How do you deal with some of the weirdest, stupidest queries you receive?

I see no question sent to me as stupid. It is a problem that the person has written to me about seeking my guidance and solution, and I ensure I provide that. For instance, a lot of educated people regularly seek counseling on unprotected sex. Now, for an educated person, you know that unprotected sex means you will have babies! In fact, this is a huge part of what I solve throughout my day.

Q) What does a regular day look like for you?

Well, before I became a full-time columnist, I've been a gynecologist and then was with Glaxo overseeing their research and development work. But today, it’s counseling, which occupies most of my day. I answer close to 80 mails a day. What has changed a lot over time, however, is the fact that more people are having more sex these days; pre-marital sex is a standard, rather than an abnormality. Girls and boys hit puberty between 12 and 14 years, and given lifestyle changes these days no one marries before 27. So, what do you do till then. Surely, you can’t turn into a Sadhu!

Q) So, how tough has it been to get Indians talking about sex?

Surprisingly, Indians are far more willing to seek sex counseling than one would be willing to agree to. However, what remains an issue is that a lot of doctors that people approach with their sexual issues are far more caged-up and find it rather difficult to discuss these matters openly.

Q) Really? Aren’t they professionally trained to do so?

Yes. Most doctors are uncomfortable dealing with other’s sexual problems. Most gynecologists today even don’t consult patients properly post delivery about important sexual matters like when one can get back to having sex, or things like till when one can continue having sex when pregnant. In fact, this lack of knowledge, to my mind, is one of the biggest reasons for husbands of pregnant/just-delivered women going astray. In fact, I don’t even know whether sexuality is a valid subject taught anywhere, leave alone medical schools.

Q) In the matter of sexuality, no one ever talks of even women enjoying and wanting to have sex, just the way men perceive it. Has your experience been any different?

Actually, I get a lot of cases where men take their wife’s sexuality and her sexual desires very seriously. I’ve had cases where men have felt a loss of potency, when they have had an ejaculation far sooner than desired. Often, such scenarios have resulted in men staying away from any sexual contact with their wives for a lengthy period of time, fearing their wife’s negative reaction. Men, overall are equally keen to get back into active sexual lives with their wives despite several kids. I often teach them the importance of the four ‘Ts—Trust, Spending time, Touch and Talking—the backbone of any healthy sexual relationship.