If You Live In The UK, You'll Have To Tell Your Spouse That You Watch Porn

David Cameron's proposed UK porn ban is an ambitious, and at times confusing plan. The implementation of an "opt-out" ban on pornography, as well as strict measures to combat child pornography and pornography depicting rape, has many raising serious ethical and practical concerns.

But there's clearly another worry in people's minds: the incredible, unbearable awkwardness of having to confess to watching pornography.

Speaking to BBC Radio 2's Jeremy Vine yesterday, Cameron admitted that it did mean that parents may have to "confess" to their other partner that they want to watch porn. His answer is a bit convoluted, but ends with a simple, "Yes, it does."

Here's the transcript:

Jeremy Vine: What would you say to someone who is an adult, who wants to watch pornography and his spouse doesn't know, and he doesn't want her to know, or she doesn't want him to know?

David Cameron: If an adult wants to get rid of the filters on their computer, that is their decision. It is up to them.

JV: Well — tell the husband? Tell the wife?

DC: I'm not interfering in those conversations.

JV: But it's a shared household decision now isn't it? That's the thing.

DC: But that's if the parents choose it to be. They can, if they want, turn these filters off.

JV: But they're not always in sync. Let's take, for example, the bloke wants to watch pornography and his wife doesn't know. This policy means he's got to 'fess up.

DC: Yes it does. But what we're saying is that the protection of children is so important that these filters should be effectively pre-ticked as on. If the parents want to change that they've got to make a decision.

If that conversation isn't awkward enough, there's also the awkwardness (not touched upon by Cameron here) of having to tell your Internet Service Provider that you want to want the filter lifted. In practice this will probably be simply ticking a box to ask for the removal of the filter.

In some people's minds, however, it may be a bit more akin to telling a group of complete strangers you want to float the rules of David Cameron's British society and watch porn.

Of course, this is kind of the point. Cameron's plan is to make it awkward to opt-out of the filter, which will make it harder for children to see pornography. The awkwardness may also mean that less adults watch legal pornography — and you have to wonder if that's not somewhat intentional.

The rest of the interview with Cameron (which begins around 1 hour and 5 minutes in) is interesting too, and some of the British press are already declaring it a "retreat." Cameron clearly says that soft-core porn, such as the pictures of topless girls published in British newspaper The Sun, won't be banned — nor will images of innocuous nudity like breastfeeding pictures, nor even text-based erotic works like "50 Shades of Grey."

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from the interview is Cameron's refrain that ISPs will really be the ones setting out the guidelines. "This is not censorship," he says. "This is not the government saying 'Right, here's what will be blocked.' This is the government working very hard at talking with all these companies, agreeing with them a new protocol."

However, he does seem to acknowledge it's going to be a bit of a hard plan to pull off. "I'm not saying we've thought of everything, and there will be many problems down the line as we deal with this," he admits with laughter.