If India shuts down, this just might happen….

Simply put, bandhs (Shutdowns) are not new to Indians. In fact, bandhs are dubbed the joyous occasions when you can enjoy a free holiday, without having to feel the pinch. Trouble-makers have a field day – disrupting offices and workplaces, and creating chaos as far as public transportation goes. It is mostly the numerous small parties living in the shadows of ‘labour movement’ – that’s long over without even leaving any trace – that call for the bandh. For a change, the large opposition party also calls for the shutdown for a day or so.

No work would happen on that day, especially in government offices, is taken. But then, did I hear you asking if there was any time any work ‘progressed’ in the government office? Ah, yes. Now, we are talking!

Government offices have a set agenda. Employees assume they get paid for making an appearance in the office. As far as work is concerned, that will cost a ‘little’ extra, which is always a norm, rather than an exception. The government machinery is like lucid dreaming. You won’t be able to differentiate between the states of consciousness.

Hike in sugar price, petrol price, onion price and prices of other commodities – everything finds a solution in a bandh. So when we put these bandhs together, along with a string of holidays that come in a year, it’s a miracle that government offices achieve so much work in so little time! Come on guys, learn to appreciate a good deed!

America is only nervously treading the space where we are masters. Or, we have already reached a ‘zen’-like status. Nothing compares to us.

That India is the IT superpower is something that our countrymen take pride in. Whether it is a fragmented success or the new economy’s dominance over an agrarian society is a fact that is still being debated. Do we depend on known ways or explore the unknown opportunities? India often learns this through its opposition parties, whenever they throw a fit on new measures being taken or new policies being announced. Only when it is challenged for vision, the government seems to become more articulate than ever before, with carefully crafted words to support its claims.

While America relies heavily on order, we rely on order in chaos. After all, we are a huge population with scarce resources and space. How do we get our share without fighting for it? Bandhs are the best way to express our anger or simply take a break from the monotonous routine of going to work every day.

In a situation where a bandh is extended to more than a day, we Indians have the innocuous ability to get used to it. Most of us were probably not witnesses to the state of emergency declared by late Indira Gandhi. The nation that was asked to lie low, crawled on all fours to save its skin.

A US-like shutdown applies to a running apparatus or device. But the case is different when it comes to a Bandh. Our country has been in deep slumber since long. So a bandh may actually force people out of their mobile worlds and bring them into real-life situations to realise important things. Like, why the salary isn’t credited, is probably one of the prime questions we would be asking.

Doctors in private practice will mint money since government hospitals don’t work. But do we really assume there are ‘working’ doctors in those places? The land which believes in karma, will only leave the ill and the hungry to their fate.

The bills and work orders won’t be passed in government offices. Payments will have to be awaited longer than an average of 10 years, which they usually take to get passed. But haven’t we learnt ‘intezaar ka phal meetha hota hai?’

Buses and trains won’t run on time. Police stations won’t be working to discharge their duties. Oh Really? Both these units of the government are more in news for mismanagement than running the show smoothly.

But, the icing on the cake would be this. The ministers and their chelas will have nowhere to go. No traffic snarls, at least because of them. Pilot vehicles won’t pompously snake through the one-ways. And no tents across the roads, hosting functions in their honour. Isn’t this what we have wished for, always?

Bureaucrats, who are often to be blamed for the state of this country (no matter which party has governed it), will be on a long holiday. They are away from the public view anyway. When was the last time you saw your deputy commissioner or any other IAS officer who matters to your well-being, if s/he really did?

With no government, money won’t be released for developmental works. But tell us honestly, didn’t the money line the pockets of wealthy contractors who happened to be the right-hand men of ministers and the powers-that-be, mostly adding to their already full super-strong digital lockers, which could be as big as a bank?

India shutdown isn’t a scary thought. It’s probably the time when you can clean up your house, debug your computer, go for a long walk and read stories to your children.