How to Disagree With Your Boss Without Really Offending Him

Rajesh, a senior manager in a FMCG company of repute, asked one of his team members Selvam to push ahead a deal that he thought could be extremely benefitable for the company. Because Selvam was aware of both – what the boss wanted as well as the intentions of the people he was dealing with - he personally felt the deal would do more harm than good. Now he was in a fix for one entire day, thinking what would be the right way to enlighten his boss about the reality, basically disagree with him by making his point, without really offending him. Finally the course he took proved to be the wrong one - He walked into the boss’s office and told him the plan won't work.

"Of course it'll work," the boss replied.

"I want you to rethink on this deal. It won’t go anywhere," he said.

"No," answered the boss.

Often, a lot of us go through situations when we do not feel aligned with what is being asked of us. It’s difficult to object, criticize or argue with a senior in view of the fact is that he or she got to that position because of some combination of experience, expertise, and training. In other words, they earned it. However, we often fail to realize that it doesn't mean we always have to agree with the decisions our boss makes. Sometimes you'll even be certain your boss is wrong—either on something small and harmless or much more consequential. So how do you challenge your boss respectfully and productively? It can be daunting to point out a difference of opinion to someone we report to. Many of us simply aren't great communicators when it comes to those in higher positions.

But with a little effort and tact, you can disagree with your boss in a way that's respectful and get the point across without making him/her feel offended:

1) Work to understand the intentions of your boss By this, I mean respect where your boss is coming from, grounded in the assumption that they are a well-intentioned, smart person. Their biases most likely developed the same way yours did: from real-world, valid experiences. Even if their perspectives are vastly different from your own, don’t discount them. Elevating to your boss’s level of thinking can help you build credibility, become a more trusted counsel and grow professionally.

2) Work on what to say Come out and say you disagree with the boss’s plan. Avoid use of the dreaded word "but," which might make it appear that you're negating everything the boss had said. Instead, use the word "suggest"—it’s a magic word in this kind of dialogue, because no boss bristles at a suggestion.

3) Argue on facts Bring data and robust situational analysis to the conversation, rather than beliefs or feelings.

4) Turn the argument towards a constructive discussion Start that meeting by asking what the boss wants to achieve and the reasons for these goals. Ask open-ended questions to probe further. Paraphrase to make sure you understand. Thank the boss for the information and set a date for presenting your plan.

5) Don’t try to prove your boss wrong Open the meeting by giving the boss the floor. You won't get the attention you need until the boss invites you to speak. Present your plan enthusiastically. Make it clear that the intention of your plan is to achieve what the boss wants. After all, your goal is to have your plan accepted, not to prove the boss wrong.

6) Focus on the outcome Everyone likes to be right, but being right will not always best serve the needs of your team or business. Make sure your dialogue is focused on driving toward that outcome rather than just winning an argument. It’s also helpful to develop “plan a” and “plan b” outcomes before engaging your boss in a disagreement.

7) Don’t hold grudges Discuss, decide and execute. Make sure your disagreements always allow both people to leave the conversation feeling respected, heard and – ideally – enlightened, regardless of the outcome. Create a path for your boss to understand your perspective and feel positive about the experience.