Here's the astronomical amount of money some uber-wealthy Upper East Side moms spend on upkeep each year
In the excerpt below, Martin and a friend calculate the cost of maintaining a "Manhattan Geisha" lifestyle for a year.
What, I wondered aloud to Candace as our Cobb salads materialized before us, did one do in order to be a beautiful-enough woman with children in this world?
And how much did it cost in actual dollars and cents? Candace's hazel eyes, free of crow's-feet thanks to good genes, good diet, and some good, strategic recent Botox, lit up.
Why hadn't we thought of this before? Our salads were soon forgotten-this was more fun than eating.
When we were done, our notes about what we guessed a Manhattan Geisha of the Upper East Side tribe I was studying did for and spent on her upkeep-based on conversations, observations, and a heavily padded version of what we did for ourselves-looked like this.
Head-to-toe analysis of annual cost of self-maintenance for high-mid- to high-ranking UES woman with kids in private school
Hair and scalp
Haircut & color (5x/year @ $500) $2.5K and blowout (weekly @ $70 per, incl. tip) $3.5K = $6K
Hair & makeup stylist for events (10x/year @ $150) = $1.5K
Consult and follow-up w/specialist who does not accept insurance, regarding hair loss due to color, stress, hormones, and/or autoimmune issues caused by stress and hormones = $2K
Face
Quarterly Botox, Restylane, and fillers ($1,000 x 4) = $4K
Monthly peel ($300 x 12) = $3.6K
Monthly facial ($250 x 12) = $3K
Monthly brows: waxing, tweezing, sugaring, or stringing ($50 x 12) = $600
Laser (for sun damage, collagen stimulation, etc.) = $2.5K
Facial skin-care products (cleaner, moisturizer, serum, sunblock, eye cream) = $1.5K
Facial makeup = $1K
Exercise classes = $3.5K
Personal trainer = $7.5K
Nutritionist = $1.5K
Juice cleanses = $3.5K if weekly
Mani/pedi = $2K
Massage = $9K if weekly; $4.5K if biweekly
Spray tan = $500
Spa getaway/s = $8K if biannually
Plastic surgery incl. breast augmentation, lipo = wild-card items
Wardrobe
Seasonal Fall/Winter = $3K-20K
Seasonal Spring/Summer = $3K-20K
Events = $5K-20K
Hamptons = $5K
Palm Beach = $5K
Aspen (ski jacket, pants, hat/s, gloves) = $2.5K
Shoes/boots = $5-8K
Bags = $5-10K
Total: $~95,000
Something like $95,000, on the low end, just to be beautiful enough and well-enough dressed and well-enough shod and sufficiently well tended to be in the game.
"We are not telling our husbands," she intoned seriously as we kissed good-bye and parted on the street.
Although maybe that would have been a good idea, since we were cheap dates compared with others we knew.
"Hey!" she shouted seconds later from the window of the cab she had just hopped into: "We didn't even count drivers and Ubers to get to and from the stores and appointments!" She was right.
But I didn't have the appetite to revisit our figures. I felt dizzy.
In spite of this fact, I had an outfit to plan, and some shopping to do.
"Primates of Park Avenue" is available for purchase at Amazon.
Courtesy of Simon & Schuster. Copyright © 2015 by Wednesday Martin.