Tom Canavan/AP
New York Giants kicker Josh Brown allegedly admitted to physically and emotionally abusing his wife in a journal obtained by the Kings County, Washington, sheriff's office in May 2015 and made public along with 165 pages of documents on Wednesday.
SportsNet New York first reported the news.
"I have physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally been a repulsive man," Brown allegedly wrote in one of his journal entries. Below that, he circled the sentence, "I have abused my wife," according to the documents.
Brown was arrested in May on fourth-degree domestic-violence charges. He said then that the incident was "just a moment." His now ex-wife, Molly, told police at the time that he had been abusive more than "20 times."
In a 2014 letter to a friend that was also made public Wednesday, according to SNY, Brown allegedly revealed that he was molested as a child. He also allegedly wrote the following:
"I have been a liar for most of my life. I made selfish decisions to use and abuse women starting at the age of 7 to fill this void. I objectified women and never really worried about the pain and hurt I caused them. My ability to connect emotionally to other people was zero. My empathy levels were zero."
"Because I never handled these underlying issues I became an abuser and hurt Molly physically, emotionally and verbally. I viewed myself as God basically and she was my slave."
In 2013, more than two years before he was arrested, Brown allegedly went into more detail about the ways in which he abused his wife in a "Contract for Change." From SNY:
"There are eight items listed in the signed contract, including 'I have physically, verbally and emotionally abused my wife Molly,' 'I have controlled her by making her feel less human than me, and manipulated her with money,' and 'I have disregarded my step sons' feelings and they have witnessed me abusing their mother.'"
In other documents released on Wednesday and obtained by SNY, Molly accused several members of the New York Giants of being "aware of the domestic violence in their relationship" and doing nothing to stop it.
She alleged that other NFL players were also aware, though she did not name any players individually. Further, she reportedly did not want to speak with the NFL because she worried the league "would only be looking to bury this whole incident and protect Josh."
Brown was suspended for one game by the NFL for the incident in May. During the preseason, both Giants' owner John Mara and head coach Ben McAdoo publicly stood by their kicker. McAdoo said he supported Brown "as a man, a father, and a player."
Neither the Giants, nor Brown's agent, responded to a request for comment from Business Insider.