UBS' uber-rich clients don't want to share the wealth (managers)
Almost Friday! Dan DeFrancesco in NYC, and I finally got the backstory on the crumbling mansion I used to see when I rode the Metro-North's Hudson line into the city (if you know, you know).
Today, we've got stories on JPMorgan adding another fintech to its arsenal, all the wild stuff FTX expensed, and the top BBQ joints in all 50 states.
But first, rich folks don't want to play nice.
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1. Mo Money, Mo Problems.
I recently overheard a new employee at my gym on the Upper East Side getting trained on the various aspects of keeping the locker room in order. Among the key things to remember was reopening the steam room at exactly 3:30 p.m. after its cleaning.
"It can't be 3:31 or 3:32. ... These people are on tight schedules," the person reiterated to their trainee multiple times.
That brings us to Hayley Cuccinello's recent story about the concerns UBS' ultra-rich clients have about what the firm's rescue takeover of Credit Suisse will mean for the white-glove service they're accustomed to.
Steam rooms are a far cry from catering to the wealthiest people in the world, but the point stands: People who pay a lot for something expect a certain level of service.
(For the record, I would die before I complained about a steam room opening a minute late.)
As UBS tries to figure out how to integrate Credit Suisse into its sprawling wealth management business ($2.8 trillion in assets at the end of 2022), some current clientele worry they might get lost in the shuffle.
Add in the fact that this is a deal both sides aren't very happy about in the first place and you start to see why people are concerned. Hayley has all the details from rich clients as well as industry analysts about why this whole thing could spell disaster.
If you're not looking to throw a pity party for some of the world's wealthiest people (I get it), perhaps consider the bigger picture. It's still early days, but the UBS-Credit Suisse deal might be the best example of something that makes sense on paper, but doesn't work in reality.
What seemed like a massive win for UBS — scooping up its biggest domestic rival — could in fact prove to be a massive problem for them for years to come.
In other news:
2. Inside the belly of the beast. We've got a first-person account from an associate at Silicon Valley Bank. Spoiler alert: They aren't too pleased. Read more here.
3. Let's be frank, JPMorgan isn't giving up on acquiring fintechs. Despite some headaches with a recent deal, the big bank is still on a buying spree. The latest is startup Aumni, which sells investment analytics software to VC firms, CNBC was first to report. We've got a rundown on the 16 fintech and consumer-facing deals JPMorgan has made since 2020. Check them all out here.
4. The dark side of VC. Some startup founders are rethinking their relationships with venture capitalists after receiving some terrible advice in the midst of Silicon Valley Bank's collapse. More on why some founders say "there's certain people I wouldn't want to take money from now."
5. That's not to say all VCs are having an easy go of it. Emerging fund managers, or VCs managing assets below $200 million across fewer than three funds, are having a tough time finding a bank that will take their business. Inside the struggles of the so-called micro-fund.
6. When a "Cheeseburger in Paradise" costs you $600,000. FTX's bankruptcy case revealed a lot about how the crypto exchange did business. Perhaps most interesting was the lavish expenses it had. From $15 million on luxury hotels to more than $500,000 to fly Amazon packages on private plans, here's a rundown on where some of that money went.
7. For all the procrastinators out there. You've got an assignment due for work when suddenly you find yourself scrolling TikTok or Instagram. We've all been there. But going into "monk mode" could save you up to three hours a day, which you can then spend watching more TikToks.
8. Bill Gates has some thoughts on the future of AI. We've got the CliffsNotes on the billionaire's 7-page letter pontificating on how the tech will impact the workforce, education, and healthcare. Here are the highlights.
9. I have bad news about the debt you racked up for that college degree. Everyone seems to agree that college-degree requirements for job vacancies need to go. More on something that Democrats and Republicans actually agree on. With that being said, you'll still need a college degree if you want to be a "professional bear hugger" in New Mexico.
10. This BBQ rules. Yelp published a rundown on the best barbecue restaurants in all 50 states. Check out the entire list here. And since we're talking BBQ, I'm required to share the funniest tweet in the history of Twitter.
Curated by Dan DeFrancesco in New York. Feedback or tips? Email ddefrancesco@insider.com, tweet @dandefrancesco, or connect on LinkedIn. Edited by Jeffrey Cane (tweet @jeffrey_cane) in New York and Nathan Rennolds (tweet @ncrennolds) in London.