A bridesmaid says she's out $3,200 for the wedding, and if she did everything the bride wanted, she'd probably have to move

• Bridesmaids spend an average of $1,900 being part of a bridal party, according to The Knot.
• A 2019 study found a third of bridal party members went into debt to cover related expenses.

It's not unheard of these days for a wedding to cost as much as a down payment on a home — but what about the people attending or standing up in the nuptials?

A study by The Knot found that wedding guests in 2023 spent an average of $580 to attend a wedding, while a 2019 study found a third of people who were part of a bridal party went into debt to cover all the related expenses.

According to data compiled by The Knot, the average amount spent on being a bridesmaid was $1,900, which included the costs of a bridal shower gift, the bachelorette party, the bridesmaid dress, wedding gift, and hair and makeup.

Three bridesmaids who say they are going into debt just to be part of their friends' weddings shared their stories with The Cut this week.

Deena, a 28-year-old manager at a nonprofit, told the outlet she's expecting to spend $3,200 to be a bridesmaid at the destination wedding of a college friend whose family is wealthy.

"I'm drowning aside from this wedding, too — I have $19,000 of other debt from student loans and credit cards and medical bills. If I spent everything that Ally wanted me to, I'd probably have to move," she said, referring to the bride.

Deena told The Cut the expenses included a $550 bridesmaid dress, $1,200 hotel stay, and flights that are unlikely to cost less than $380 — and that was just for the wedding.

When she learned the bachelorette party would be another $750 just for her share in the rental home, she told the organizer she couldn't afford it.

"Finally, we worked out a plan where I'm paying in increments. And everyone is treating me like a charity case who's also a bad friend and making everything difficult," she told The Cut.

Deena said she's getting shamed for not being able to afford everything, and that another bridesmaid even asked her, "What if you give up takeout for a month?"

The other two bridesmaid stories shared with the outlet were just as jarring. One said she spent $2,000 and put it on her credit card. The other said her total expenses for being in a friend's wedding were $6,000, or about 10% of her take-home pay.

"How much to spend on your own wedding is your business, of course," Charlotte Cowles, the financial advice columnist at The Cut, wrote. "But before you rope your dearest friends into your vision, maybe take a moment to consider what they can afford."