Yes, 'Barbie' is a great movie to see with your daughter. But you should buy a ticket for your son, too.

• The "Barbie" movie offers insightful social commentary on the gender binary and the patriarchy.
• Ken learns about these concepts and defines himself outside his relationship with Barbie.

From its storyline to its aggressively pink marketing, the appeal of Greta Gerwig's "Barbie" to women is central to its identity. However, despite the fact that Ken has always played a supporting role, his narrative arc is just as important as Barbie's.

While the movie includes social commentary about the gender roles and expectations that many women relate to, its primary message — that we are all harmed by the limitations of the patriarchy and the gender binary — is just as relevant and powerful for men. Yes, it's likely most parents' first instinct to snag a ticket for their daughters, but don't overlook what it has to offer to your sons.

Leaving Barbieland for the real world

While the terms "feminism" and "patriarchy" have become part of common discourse, the "Barbie" movie directly engages with these concepts in ways that feel refreshing in a mainstream movie. By balancing humor with trenchant social criticisms, "Barbie" provides a valuable opportunity to reflect on systems of oppression and supremacy that limit autonomy for both women and men.

After Ken and Barbie leave Barbieland, their first experiences in the "real world" leave something to be desired. During their roller-blading escapade in Venice Beach, Ken says he feels "admired but not ogled, without an undertone of violence," while Barbie experiences for the first time the unease and pervasive danger of the male gaze that so many women feel in public spaces.

Within hours of being in the real world, Ken essentially learns that to be a man is powerful and to be powerful is to be manly. At one point he says, "I'm a man with no power. Does that make me a woman?" The line highlights the way in which power over others is perceived as central to masculinity. These scenes are a great conversation starter for exploring how we think about masculinity and the gender binary, as well as power dynamics when it comes to gender.

Ken's exploration of masculinity offers a chance for conversation

Critics from conservative circles have dubbed "Barbie" as anti-man, but this view grossly misinterprets the film's message. "Barbie" isn't anti-man; rather, it opposes stereotypical ideas of masculinity. When Ken arrives in the "real world," he encounters the tenets of modern masculinity: sports, muscles, money, beer, and the expectation of wielding power over women.

He is charmed by the clear definitions of his purpose as defined by the patriarchy. Ken then shares this ideology with the rest of the Kens in Barbieland, who eagerly embrace this perspective. His eventual unraveling reveals the hollow performance of toxic masculinity, a scripted role that lacks originality and pits men against one another.

This eventually comes to a head, resulting in a battle royal between the Kens. In the end, they realize they were fighting because, as one Ken put it, "we didn't know who we were." Instead of forging their own identities, they had found self-worth in a harmful ideology, damaging their relationships in the process. Scenes such as this could lead to honest conversations between parents and their boys about the competitive performance of toxic masculinity that can sometimes turn violent.

The patriarchy is not about horses

In the film, Ken is introduced to the patriarchy — and many of the other harmful ideas he brings back to Barbieland — because of his interest in horses. He later declares, "To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't about horses, I lost interest anyways." He had a limited grasp of the ideas he was spreading, but the damage had already been done.

In the real world, we often see a similar sequence of events play out with boys. While hobbies and community are wonderful, some of their interests can often lead them to misogynistic indoctrination — either in person or online — where their desire for a sense of identity and community is taken advantage of. These scenes provide a jumping-off point for parents to have a discussion with kids about the importance of comprehending the messages they receive and challenging anything that might appear questionable or out of place.

We shouldn't be defined by our relationships

"Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him," an omnipresent narrator says when introducing Ken.

The narration is a nod to Ken's dependence on external validation and his inability to process deep emotions without his partner. His character resembles the "incel" archetype — an involuntarily celibate man whose ideology comes from a place of deep-seated loneliness where self-worth is defined by sexual attention.

The film cleverly alludes to Ken's lack of genitals — a fact he fervently denies — which leads to awkward attempts at intimacy with Barbie. Despite his confusion and lack of understanding of what authentic connection and healthy relationships entail, Ken knows he's "supposed" to desire Barbie.

He is defined by his relationship with her and finds himself competing in a sea of indistinguishable Kens, all vying for a girlfriend who is "long term, long distance, low commitment, casual" — a nearly impossible combination of traits for one person to possess — yet expressing frustration when their noncommittal desires aren't fulfilled.

Ken, like so many young men, seeks fulfillment from what he owns, his accomplishments, and whom he secures as a partner, rather than his own authentic pursuit of identity. While relationships can provide fulfillment and bring happiness to our lives, it's important to tell the next generation of young men that our self-worth is not solely derived from our connections with others. This movie provides a perfect opportunity for that conversation.

'I know crying's not weak'

Upon reaching a point of existential crisis, Ken confronts the stark realization that he understood himself only in relation to Barbie. Without her approval or attention, his identity is dependent on his performance of masculinity relative to that of the other Kens. But when Barbie repeatedly rejects his physical advances, and he is left to contend with his feelings, he begins to understand that being with her isn't his purpose after all.

In a moment of raw vulnerability, he professes, "I'm a liberated man. I know crying's not weak." This line is paramount for boys who are often told that expressing emotions symbolizes weakness.

Barbie advises Ken, "You're not your girlfriend. You're not your house. You're not your mink. You're not even beach. Maybe all the things you thought made you you, aren't really you." This quote is about being authentic and a wonderful one for boys to hear. It's a powerful reminder that we are more than just what we own, what we do for work, and whom our friends expect us to be. In fact, it's an empowering message for everyone and underscores that we're free to choose who we want to be.

More opportunities to unpack together

In a world full of dolls, the movie leaves us with a poignant reminder. "Being a human can be pretty uncomfortable," Ruth Handler, the creator of Barbie, played by Rhea Perlman, says.

To this, Barbie adds, "No Barbie or Ken should be living in the shadows." The film invites us to engage our children in meaningful conversations about complex concepts such as toxic masculinity, drawing attention to scenes that either challenge or reinforce these ideologies. It also highlights that we all have our own path to follow and that it's important to live authentically.

In Barbie's wise words: "By giving voice to the cognitive dissonance of living under patriarchy, you rob it of its power."

The Barbie movie is a cotton-candy-colored, irresistibly fun way to start tearing down the patriarchy with your kids — yes, even your sons.