'The Golden Bachelorette' stars Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple say learning 'how to argue nicely' is key to a successful marriage

• "The Golden Bachelorette" stars Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple spoke to Business Insider about their relationship.
• They said that having patience, being forgiving, and arguing "nicely" is key to a successful marriage.

"The Golden Bachelorette" star Joan Vassos has been receiving non-stop texts since her engagement to Chock Chapple aired on ABC on Wednesday night.

"I currently have 180 messages, so I owe everybody a reply because they've been along on this journey with me, and now they finally know who is in my life now, and I want to share it with them," Joan told Business Insider on Thursday in a joint interview with her fiancé. "I just haven't had time to talk yet."

Joan, who was first introduced to Bachelor Nation as a contestant on the inaugural season of "The Golden Bachelor," got her happy ending with Chock, an insurance executive from Wichita, Kansas. During the "Golden Bachelorette" finale, Chock professed his love for Joan and proposed to her in Bora Bora.

Since the engagement was filmed months ago, they had to keep the news quiet until their official debut as a couple during the "After the Final Rose" special.

Now that the secret's out, they're looking forward to getting to know each other better without having to sneak around, preparing for their wedding, and finding a place together in New York City — though they still plan to spend time in both Kansas and Maryland.

"We're ready to just have a normal life," Chock said.

Chock says a 'magical kiss' in Bora Bora was cut from the finale because it would have given away the ending

After meeting Joan's family in the finale, Chock tells her that he loves her. Although she doesn't say it back, her feelings for Chock are clear. The next day, Joan breaks up with Guy, her remaining finalist.

Chock told Business Insider about a key moment didn't make the final cut of the show. The day before the proposal, Joan visited Chock's bungalow, and they had a passionate kiss on the porch.

"There's no way that they could have showed that, but it was a magical kiss, because it kind of would've ruined the whole storyline," Chock said. "I spent three weeks trying to get Joan to tell me she loved me. I was trying everything and I just couldn't get it out of her. But that kiss solidified how she felt. But if fans would've seen that prior to the engagement, they would've known it was over."

Chock also revealed that the idea to get a place together in New York came from another unseen moment — his off-camera conversation with Joan during fantasy suites week.

Joan and Chock said that patience, forgiveness, and learning 'how to argue nicely' go a long way in a marriage

Joan was married to her late husband John for 33 years, until he died from pancreatic cancer in 2021. Chock was previously married to his ex-wife for 12 years. He was later engaged to a woman named Kathy for nine years before she died from cancer.

When asked about the keys to a successful marriage, patience immediately came to Chock's mind.

"And it's partly forgiveness, but not letting things bother you that are little things," he told BI. "There's just so much of it that's minutiae that really doesn't make a difference."

Joan, who has four kids from her marriage to John, said that "prioritizing your relationship above other things" is also important.

The reality TV star said that she and John were busy running a company and raising four kids, but they made sure to have a date night every Saturday.

Joan also said that she learned from that marriage not to hurt each other's feelings when disagreements arise.

"You have to learn how to argue nicely, that you come out at the end of the argument in a good place and not hurt," she said. "And that whatever resolution you came to, it didn't come at the expense of your marriage."

Joan has considered having a public wedding

Joan and Chock's focus right now is on spending the holidays together and getting through January.

"The thought of planning a wedding right now after being so busy the last six months with 'Golden Bachelorette' stuff is a little daunting," Joan said. "So I'm ready to take a little bit of time just for us to be a couple and not have a lot to do."

The couple is eyeing a wedding in 2025 or early 2026, and they've gone back and forth about having a public or private wedding. Joan said that she initially wanted the big day to be a small gathering with friends and family. Her thinking changed as a result of the response to the show.

"We've heard from a lot of people about how it's inspired them and to cut them off right at this point and say, 'No, you're not going to see the rest of the story' doesn't seem really fair," Joan said. "I think there's a part of me that says it would be the right thing to do and actually maybe really fun sharing the rest of the story and showing the wedding on TV."

ABC, are you listening?