The celebrity divorce playbook has changed: Expect more leaks and less sexism

• More than a dozen celebrities have announced divorces in 2023 thus far.
• Divorce attorneys say celebs should stay quiet during their splits — but that doesn't always happen.

Celebrity marriages are having a tough year.

Even as the "summer of separation" turned to fall, breakups among the rich and famous have yet to slow. More than two dozen high-profile figures have called their relationships quits in the last ten months.

Everyone from award-winning actors — Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara announced their respective divorces in the spring — to bestselling pop stars — Britney Spears and Ariana Grande ditched their dudes this summer — are trading wedded bliss for divorce proceedings as they return to their prenuptial agreements.

While most famous couples are keen to release a half-hearted joint statement and hash out the divorce details in private, a few especially messy separations this year have signaled the arrival of a new normal for splitting celebrities — one that no longer follows the established rules of yesteryear — as they try to curry favor among fans and "win" the breakup.

Kevin Costner's drawn-out divorce with longtime wife Christine Baumgartner drew media scrutiny this summer as the couple haggled over eye-popping financial details in court. Meanwhile, obsession over celebrity splits reached a social media fever pitch this fall as Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas battled it out in the court of public opinion following their divorce announcement.

"Celebrities are just like normal people when it comes to breakups," said Holly Davis, a high-net-worth family law attorney based in Texas. said. "They're often hurt and reactive and responsive."

But in the social media age, as cultural attitudes toward gender roles and relationships are constantly evolving, the celebrity divorce playbook has been forced to adapt in real-time — and some are learning faster than others.

Celebrities may be more willing to leak

Divorce attorneys typically advise their famous clients to keep their mouths shut amid a breakup, according to Christopher Melcher, a California family law attorney who has experience with high-profile divorces.

"When you have a dual celebrity couple, each side understands the need to keep things quiet and private so they're not destroying each other's brand in the process," he said.

Attorneys, likewise, have an incentive to keep the juiciest relationship details a secret until they can strategically reveal that information in a courtroom where it might legally benefit their client in front of a judge, he said.

But in our social media age, that instinct may be an outdated one.

"Many times these things aren't resolved in a court of law," Melcher said. "But they are judged in a court of public opinion."

And increasingly online and opinionated fanbases may be influencing how celebrities handle their divorces, Davis said, citing the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard defamation trial last year that delved into the couple's troubled marriage during televised proceedings that garnered millions of viewers.

"The country became like the jurors themselves in that case," Davis said. "I think celebrities are seeing that and hoping for similar reactions by the public and their fan base when going through a divorce."

Whereas celebrities have historically been inclined to keep the dirty details of their breakup and private life secret in service of protecting their image, Davis posited that the public response to the Depp-Heard trial may have fundamentally shifted that tradition.

Earlier this year, Depp received a 7-minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival after a screening of his career comeback movie "Jeanne du Barry."

"The public saw horrible things about Johnny Depp throughout the trial and it didn't seem to really negatively impact his image in the eyes of his fans or the country," Davis said.

A jury found that Depp and Heard both defamed each other, granting Depp $10 million in damages and Heard $2 million in damages. The two settled in December 2022.

Watching Depp emerge relatively unscathed, she suggested, may have convinced celebrities to take on a little more risk in sharing certain facts about their breakup in an effort to not only control, but shape the narrative.

Divorce attorneys pointed to the litigious Costner divorce as an example of the trend.

"Kevin took a gamble in not settling quickly and letting that divorce play out very publicly with a lot of information out there about his finances he claimed he didn't even know," Melcher said. "But he came out looking pretty good because he had this message — I don't know if it was intentional — that his spouse was seeking extraordinary amounts of money and he wasn't going to buckle to that pressure."

Celebrities are more willing to publicly double down on their version of events amid messy divorces, Davis added.

"They're taking the risk and basically betting the public will be on their side."

Being first doesn't matter if the public thinks you're lying

As a high-profile marriage falls apart, the celebrities involved want to be the first to file for divorce or release a public statement lest they lose control of the narrative, Emma Telesca, a senior publicist at Anderson Group PR, told Insider.

Perhaps the most dramatic celebrity divorce this year — the split between musician Joe Jonas and actress Sophie Turner — quickly devolved into a mess of battling narratives. Soon after Jonas and Turner released a highly polished joint Instagram statement announcing their divorce in September, tabloids began claiming the cause of the couple's split was Turner's affinity for partying.

"She likes to party, he likes to stay at home. They have very different lifestyles," a source told TMZ.

The TMZ story teased a celebrity marriage undone by "something" captured on the couple's ring camera which ultimately convinced Jonas the relationship was over.

In a statement shared with Insider, a spokesperson for Jonas denied that the singer or his representatives spoke to TMZ.

"Joe has already disavowed any and all statements purportedly made on his behalf that were disparaging of Sophie," the statement said. "They were made without his approval and are not consistent with his views."

But that didn't stop social media users and fans from assuming Jonas had fired the first shot in an effort to take control of the couple's divorce narrative, Telesca said.

Regardless of who was behind the anti-Turner tabloid comments, divorce experts said the media coverage ultimately cast Jonas in a bad light. Social media swiftly turned against the former teen star as social media users dug up old comments Turner had made about being a homebody in an attempt to refute the party allegations against her.

"At this point, public opinion does not let you get away with any false claims," Telesca said.

Things only got worse for Jonas as the couple battled in court over where their two young daughters should be living. Turner sued Jonas to return the kids to England where she said the family had made their "permanent" home, accusing her ex of refusing to give over the girls' passports.

"Joe is seeking shared parenting with the kids so that they are raised by both their mother and father, and is of course also okay with the kids being raised both in the U.S. and the UK," a representative for Jonas said last month amid the custody battle. "The children were born in the U.S. and have spent the vast majority of their lives in the U.S. They are American citizens."

Legal filings in the case, however, later included a damning letter Turner said was penned by Jonas as recently as June in which he referred to England as the family's "forever home," casting further doubt on Jonas' position in the then-ongoing custody negotiations.

Earlier this month, the couple came to a temporary custody agreement through the beginning of 2024, releasing a joint statement saying they are looking forward to being "great co-parents."

But it's possible the damage to Jonas' reputation had already been done, Telesca said.

"Once the public thinks you're not telling the truth, it's really hard to convince them that you are again," Telesca said.

Mom shaming doesn't work like it used to

Turner didn't come out on top simply because she had receipts — the public is also less and less likely to buy into sexist attacks and "mom shaming," experts said.

Tabloid stories that highlight Turner's passion for partying while praising Jonas for doing his fatherly duties came off as blatantly sexist in a post-Me Too world, Telesca said.

"If someone used that attack ten or fifteen years ago, it would be assumed that the man is right," she said. "That's just not working now."

Jonas noted in his initial divorce filing that it was he who had primarily taken care of the couple's daughters in recent months as Turner was filming in England. That narrative, however, quickly sparked an online outpouring of support for Turner as fans came to her defense, declaring the "Game of Thrones" star "Queen of the North" and rejecting the narrative that the 27-year-old actress is anything but a dedicated mother.

"Joe Jonas can't complain, now, of the very thing he loved about Sophie when he got married to her: She's a successful actor. You can't fall in love with a very successful actor, support her career, spend the money, and have not one, but two babies with that very successful actor and then complain that she's a very successful actor in your divorce," Davis said. "It's a double standard."

Turner, for her part, has kept relatively quiet since the media onslaught, communicating primarily through court filings while making occasional and pointed appearances with "noted girl's girl" and former Jonas-ex Taylor Swift, Telesca said.

"Sophie Turner seemed like she didn't think this was all going to be so public," Telesca said. "Once it was, she's making sure everyone knows what really happened without having to formally say it."

Celebrity divorce drama can be avoided

Salacious stories and celebrity rumors spread like wildfire in the age of social media especially once the celebrities themselves start fueling the fire, divorce attorneys said.

"Putting the celebrity aside, it's a personal relationship that's now broken," Melcher said. "A feature of all these divorces is that they don't communicate, they don't trust each other, and they've lost respect for each other."

The best option for minimizing long-term damage to the celebrities' images and psyches, Melcher said, is for them to agree to present a genuine, united front from the get-go. The most obvious — and memeified — example of the unified statement, Melcher said, was Gwyneth Paltrow and Christ Martin's "conscious uncoupling" announcement back in 2015.

"Because everyone has exposure, you may drop a story thinking you're going to turn the tides," said Marilyn Chinitz, a matrimonial and family law attorney. "But that can backfire and turn against you."