Shawn Mendes says he felt 'so terrified of being evil' during a recent argument with Camila Cabello

• Shawn Mendes recently discussed his own masculinity and "darkness" on the "Man Enough" podcast.
• He opened up about raising his voice to his girlfriend, Camila Cabello, and watching her "shrink."
• "I'm so terrified of being evil. I'm so scared to be bad," he said.

Shawn Mendes opened up about toxic masculinity and its negative effect on his relationship with Camila Cabello.

The "Wonder" singer was a guest on Monday's episode of the "Man Enough" podcast when cohost Justin Baldoni asked what "terrifies" him the most.

"I'm so terrified of being evil," he added. "I'm so scared to be bad. I don't want to be bad."

He explained that he recently got into an argument with Cabello, whom he's been dating since 2019. When she expressed her discomfort with his tone of voice, Mendes said he got defensive and lashed out.

"I raised my voice at her and she was like, 'I don't like it when you raise your voice. Why did you raise your voice?' And I got so defensive," he said. "I was like, 'I wasn't raising my voice at you!' And I did raise my voice at her. And then I felt her shrink and I felt me grow and I was like, 'Oh my god, this is the worst.'"

Mendes said he struggles to accept "there is bad inside of me," but wants to learn how to work through ego and "trauma" more effectively.

"I can't avoid the fact that there's a little bit of darkness inside of me. And letting that darkness kind of be present is a horrible feeling," he said.

Mendes also acknowledged that he made the situation about himself, which he later realized was unfair to Cabello.

"I made it about my evil and my fear, and she comforted me," he said. "And then it took me like, 20 minutes of us separately reading our books to be able to come back to her and be like, 'God, that was a whole thing and I'm really sorry.'"

"It took 20 minutes - I'm trying to shorten that gap," he continued. "You think you're being vulnerable and saying the right thing but you're really just defending yourself even better."

Prompted by a question from cohost Liz Plank, the 22-year-old musician reflected on his desire to be seen as a "good guy," and how that commitment can obscure the harm he's causing.

"I know the 'good guys.' I know them. They have the same energy as me, I can see it in their eyes," Mendes said. "And that can really make you the bad guy, because you can become so manipulative in the way of trying to be the good guy."