Rich millennials like Leo from 'LIB' can come off as arrogant when talking about their wealth — but there's a better way to disclose your income on dates
- Leo is an art dealer who appears in "Love Is Blind" season seven.
- He's candid about his wealth on the show, despite worries that women are attracted to his money.
Warning: This post contains spoilers for "Love Is Blind" season seven through episode six.
Leo, one of the Washington, DC-based cast members on "Love Is Blind" season seven, is a 31-year-old art dealer with a self-described "lucrative" career — and if you make it at least 15 minutes into the first episode, you'll be sure to know it.
Netflix's flagship reality dating series puts people into appearance-concealing pods where they date — and ideally, get engaged — without meeting their potential partner face-to-face. Billed as a social experiment, the has spawned several international editions, drawn millions of viewers, and likely made the streamer a boatload of money in new subscribers, but it's generated only a handful of lasting marriages.
As a trade-off, appearing on "Love Is Blind" can be a boon for cast members' personal brands and reality TV careers. But as Leo makes clear early on, he doesn't need that. He inherited a family art dealing business at a young age after several of his family members died of cancer. According to Leo, he has plenty of money to support himself without needing the influencer career that reality shows can provide.
That security is a double-edged sword. As Leo says several times in episode one, he worries that women may only be interested in him for his money.
Paradoxically, he doesn't go to much effort to conceal his wealth from the two women he's shown dating in the series. In one instance, he praises 27-year-old Hannah for not asking about the glamorous parts of his job, like going to Art Basel and closing lucrative deals.
"I understand wanting to know that because it's inherently interesting. You just don't meet an art dealer every day," he says in the show. "I don't want, like, my job to ever define me."
Amanda Clayman, a financial therapist, said people with higher incomes, like Leo, often try to make a good impression by talking about their salaries and jobs but ultimately miscalculate. Instead, they come off as insecure.
Treading the line between vulnerability and modesty can be difficult when dating. Business Insider spoke with two experts about how to navigate discussions about your wealth while looking for a life partner.
Question your beliefs about money
How you talk about your career and income reveals your deeper attitudes around money, Clayman said. That's why it helps to figure out your motivation for sharing how much you make.
Some men believe their leading quality is how much they earn, and they may genuinely think that disclosing their high incomes is their best shot at winning a date over, even if it "makes him seem crass and superficial," Clayman said.
Unpacking beliefs around money, such as wealth being tied to self-worth, gives you more self-awareness. You'll learn why you're bringing up your finances, rather than doing it to seem secure.
On "Love Is Blind," Leo is pretty candid about his career and background in confessionals, when speaking to the other male contestants, and on dates with the female cast members. In the first episode, he says that he was interested in the show specifically because it provided an opportunity to find an emotional connection.
"I'm fortunate," he says in an episode one confessional. "I have an interesting and lucrative job. I'm an art dealer. It's a family business. I actually own it now, I ended up inheriting it. But one of my biggest insecurities is that a girl only wants me, like, for money."
Lead with vulnerability
One of the biggest criticisms of Leo by viewers is that he kept bringing up his income but not what mattered to him in a relationship (at least according to his edit on the show). While he sometimes brings it up in the context of his family business and childhood, he can come across as flaunting it when he praises a woman for not fawning over his career.
Kristin Papa, a licensed clinical social worker who works with couples, said it's a good idea to center money discussions around your values. You can talk about why your career fulfills you or why money is important to you, whether it grants you the freedom to travel or gives you a sense of stability.
"That way, you can have a little bit more of an in-depth conversation about money and what it can be helpful for," she said, rather than just dropping how much you make as a status symbol.
For his part, Leo told People that his family drove many of the conversations he had about his career on the show.
"It was, I guess, only important in the sense that I was trying to just be authentic about who I was, but a lot of the talk about that was in the context of family," he said. "And for me, continuing on my family's business is something I am proud of. So whoever I would be with would be, it's more than a marriage."
"Business is a real part of what someone would be involved in, so it was relevant conversations," Leo added.
Make it a dialogue
Bringing up your values also invites a dialogue, Papa said. Rather than rattling off your resume on a first date, you can ask your partner to share their views on money.
To Leo's credit, bringing up his financial situation does invite a dialogue about money during a date with 33-year-old esthetician Brittany. After she asks about his approach to splitting expenses as a couple, he says that he's generally inclined to split them proportionally. And when he opens up about his dating insecurities, Brittany takes it as an opportunity to reassure him that she isn't interested in marrying for money.
Having conversations about how you approach money can set you up for success in a relationship. Couples might make the same amount, but have completely different spending habits. Or you might have a huge gap in your salaries, but share the same financial goal of owning a house.
"It's an opportunity to clarify the role of money versus the quantity of money," Papa said.
The next batch of "Love Is Blind" season seven episodes will be released Wednesday, October 9 on Netflix.