My son wants to be like Billy Hargrove from 'Stranger Things,' so I'm using the opportunity to talk to him about right and wrong

• My son and I watched "Stranger Things" together, and he was drawn to Billy Hargrove.
• When he became interested in things like hair metal and lifting weights, I started to worry.

When I watched "Stranger Things" with my son, I could have never expected that he would be drawn to Billy Hargrove, who isn't exactly the good guy. My son is 10 now, going into fifth grade, and his admiration of Billy persists.

It has led to an obsession with hair metal, lifting weights, and wanting to have the same exact Camaro when he grows up. I've tried explaining to him that Billy isn't the best role model, but in truth, I can see why he gravitates toward the character.

Characters, like people, are rarely all good or all bad

While Billy is the bully, he also has a moment of redemption where we see another side of him as a child with his mother on the beach. On top of this memory humanizing Billy for the viewers, he also sacrifices himself in the end to save everyone else, which is an awfully selfless move to make for being the bad guy.

So, though I sometimes struggle with my son's desire to be a miniature Billy Hargrove, I get it. A good story should have characters like Billy because people are complex, and no one is all good or all bad.

Complicated characters provide opportunities for critical thinking

As a middle and high school English teacher, I've witnessed the impact of having characters in stories that aren't easy to write off. To me, there's nothing better than having material that makes students think critically or disagree with each other.

So, is Billy a bad person? The short answer is that it's not that simple. Billy does many things that are undeniably wrong, from speeding to being mean to his younger stepsister. In fiction, everything is written intentionally, from the characters' actions to their appearances, and I always ask my students to examine both closely.

Billy's tight jeans and primped hair show us he cares about being attractive or looking cool. We know that Billy cares a lot about dating and handles his looks as a means to that end. While having relationships is healthy and dating has its place in our lives, talking about the character's approach to his appearance opened up a deeper conversation with my son.

Talking to him about why he sees Billy as cool became an in-depth discussion about right and wrong and what things in life we should value most. Often, analyzing the antagonist of a story can lead to far deeper conversations than simply saying, "They're just the bad guy."

A story can be more impactful than any lesson or lecture

As a teacher and a mother, I've seen that making the time for careful reflection together after experiencing a story through a book, show, or movie can be more impactful than any lesson or lecture I could ever give my students or my son.

The best thing about Billy Hargrove is that he shows the ability to transform. He goes from a stereotypical bad guy to a hero. And he's not the only transformation we see on the show; Steve Harrington is another "Stranger Things" character who undergoes a major evolution, from a bully into a loveable babysitter.

Characters like these, who show not only that it is possible to change but also that it doesn't have to be difficult, are important examples — especially for young people who are still figuring out what kind of person they want to be.

I think about my own role models growing up

There are moments when I become less optimistic about my son looking up to characters like Billy Hargrove, such as when I'm concerned he's too preoccupied with working out. Sometimes, my worries about him going down the wrong path cloud my vision, and I wonder if I'm not steering him in the right direction.

But then I remind myself that he's 10. When I was 10, I thought I wanted to be Ginger Spice, and I remember my own dad getting upset about that. As I grew up, I tried on all kinds of identities until I figured out who I was. Plus, with maturity came seeing the caricature in characters, especially those in the public eye.

I like getting to know my son through his interests

I know I need to let my son explore why he thinks he wants to be like Billy without getting overly worked up about it. But I also know what interests him provides each of us with a learning opportunity. I can try to teach him what I know about his interests, but I also learn about what he likes and why. Instead of shutting him down out of fear or my own opinions, I'd rather get to know him through talking to him about what appeals to him.

It can be hard as a parent not to want to control who my son grows into, but I know he's his own person. As his mom, all I can do is try to always be there for him as he figures out who he wants to be.