'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' broke the rom-com mold by proving its heroine could find herself at home
- "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was first released in theaters on April 19, 2002.
- The independent rom-com, starring and written by Nia Vardalos, broke the genre's mold.
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" pushed the boundaries of what — and where — a coming-of-age story or a romantic comedy could be.
Nia Vardalos wrote the indie flick, which started as a one-woman play she'd also written, directed, and starred in, that follows Toula Portokalos (Vardalos) as she transforms from a 30-year-old family wallflower to a blushing bride. Along the way, she blossoms into a woman who is more sure of herself and more willing to pursue what she wants, even if she does it slyly to appease cultural norms.
Her wedding might be the backdrop for her evolution, but it is her commitment to herself that sets the plot in motion.
'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' was a sleeper hit that was way ahead of its time
As of 2016, it was the most commercially successful independent film of all time.
Twenty years later, as a generation is rethinking what kind of lives they want and where they want to live them, it holds up. Vardalos' story shows how easily one can change their life without abandoning their community, or sacrificing their beliefs.
The protagonist's evolution takes place in the "normal, middle-class, Chicago neighborhood," she's lived in her whole life instead of a metropolis she moved to in search of herself.
This choice upends the popular trope of a small town girl fleeing her hometown to learn who she is and what she wants in the big city, which we've seen time and again in movies like "Sweet Home Alabama," "The Devil Wears Prada," and so many more.
The typical glamorous makeover montage is replaced with a swipe of drugstore blush and the addition of a slightly suspicious jean jacket, but Toula serves the same amount of main character energy as Andy Sachs in the venerable Chanel boots.
Toula wishes aloud to be a "braver, or prettier, or just happy" version of herself, not a completely different person. There's no moral quandary about throwing a coworker under the bus or sacrificing memories with a loved one to fulfill a lifelong ambition.
There's just a woman in her thirties reimagining her life in subtle ways that suit her.
Toula is a unique protagonist for how she has personal growth without having to sacrifice her family relationships or change the core of who she is
Unlike heroines who comically dodge the calls of their family before being forced to visit via plot device, Toula complains about her family but has genuine affection for them. Throughout the film, it is important to her to maintain the connections she has to them, and she does that without giving up on her personal quest for happiness.
Toula begins to take small steps towards achieving her goal at home, becoming a happier and more complete person with each one. Initially frustrated with the fact that "nothing ever changes," she marches towards that change by voicing her desires to go to a nearby college and pivot career paths. She does not convene a round table of girlfriends over $17 cocktails to accomplish this.
Instead, she turns to the women in her family for their support. They share values and perspectives and offer wisdom that does not ignore or discount her lived experiences.
They help her join the family travel agency, instead of continuing to serve coffee refills at their restaurant.
Through her new job, she manages to have her Prince Charming (Ian Miller, played by "Sex and the City" star John Corbett) come to her rather than chase after him. Despite their chance encounter early on in the movie, he is not the center of or even a significant part of her plan for self-improvement. He opens the door to the travel agency and walks into it.
Her earnestness is so inspiring that her fiancé declares that he "came alive" when they met. She even motivates her brother to take a chance at expressing himself through the arts.
The steps she takes to go after the life she wants are not elaborate or elegant, but they are deliberate and effective.
She wants her world to be bigger but not unrecognizable. Making room for herself leads her to a love that feels authentic and earned and it is that journey that shocked the film industry by filling theater seats.
Toula might end in the same zip code, but by the end of the film, she lives in an entirely different place.
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is currently streaming on HBO Max.