Melissa Rivers says her controversial comedian mother, Joan Rivers, always felt like an 'outsider' in Hollywood

• Melissa Rivers' new book about her mom, Joan Rivers, honors the comedian's legacy.
• In the book, Melissa shared a number of "high profile women in comedy weren't fans" of Joan.

The late Joan Rivers was naturally fabulous, and according to the person who knew her best, a liar.

In an interview with Insider, Melissa Rivers, the only child of the caustic yet beloved comedian, discussed her mother Joan, the groundbreaking funny woman who died in 2014 at age 81 due to complications from a botched throat surgery.

The 54-year-old producer and podcaster wrote in her new book, "Lies My Mother Told Me: Tall Tales from a Short Woman," that Joan loved to share with her impressionable daughter outrageous and untrue whoppers — from the fake story of the first Thanksgiving (saying the Mayflower was "like a Carnival cruise ship with better plumbing") to the outlandish origin story behind the Leaning Tower of Pisa (tipped due to an unfortunate incident involving Elizabeth Taylor's oft-mocked plump frame).

The liberal lying was all part and parcel of a nimble mind that, like Joan herself, never slowed down. Joan's school of thought: Why let the boring truth stand in the way when it can be punched up by a much funnier, if false, version?

The Brooklyn-born comedian, who was constantly reinventing herself, still felt like a Hollywood 'outsider'

The larger-than-life comedian, who stood a mere five-foot-two, cultivated a well-earned reputation for her bawdy and biting humor. She was equally as known for her signature catchphrase "Can we talk?" as she was for her notorious penchant for plastic surgery.

Born Joan Molinsky in 1933, the Brooklyn-born and Westchester, New York-bred daughter of a Jewish doctor was raised to live a conventional life: marry the "right" kind of guy by 23 (which she did) and immediately start popping out kids (which she didn't). She left her first husband, the son of a clothing store manager, after six months, with that marriage being ultimately annulled.

Against the backdrop of a disapproving upper-middle-class family who didn't understand her quest for fame, Joan went on to break many barriers and crash through nearly every glass ceiling in a comedy world that didn't quite know what to make of the unconventional upstart.

She also transcended generations with her legendary edginess — jokes that some people were too scared to laugh at aloud in mixed company unless they saw others let loose too. And the woman was a stalwart, reinventing herself many times over.

Being washed up was for other comics. Rivers ably transitioned from a Catskills performer to a stand-up comedian to a late-night talk show host and later a QVC maven. Joan managed to stay not only relevant over the decades, but even well into her 70s, she cultivated a white-hot career drawing in new generations who followed her for her bruising awards show commentary on E!

"She always strived to be relevant, and that's why she was so happy with the red carpets and 'Fashion Police,'" said Melissa.

Still, Melissa said that her parents accepted their place in the ever-evolving Hollywood ecosystem.

"Both my parents always felt like they were outsiders in Hollywood," she said. "They were never part of the cool kids' club. They were never asked to eat at the good lunch table."

According to Melissa, Joan always endured difficult showbiz personalities who didn't always accord parity: "Were there assholes? 100 percent. Was it probably more men than women? Yes."

Joan along with her second husband, manager-producer Edgar Rosenberg, carved out their own support system anyway and "ran in a much less showbiz group." It's why Melissa believes Joan bolted for New York shortly after her husband died by suicide in 1987, right after the comedian lost her short-lived late-night show on Fox.

Melissa enjoyed a unique yet grounded childhood with her parents

Melissa had no cookie-cutter childhood; it was filled with long jaunts to Las Vegas and lunches with magic duo Siegfried and Roy.

But even though she jokingly wrote in the book that Joan's career was actually her "favorite child," she told Insider that her devoted parents always wanted a "traditional" childhood for her.

"It was always made very clear that it was a family business," Melissa, who's now a mother herself to a 21-year-old son named Cooper, said. "It was the three Rosenbergs and the quote-unquote 'career.' It was a separate entity."

Melissa, who grew up in the ultra-luxurious Bel-Air neighborhood of Los Angeles, added that her parents fostered a normal environment.

"Til the day she died, her phone at home was answered, 'Rosenberg residence,'" she recalled.

Although her parents tried to keep her grounded, it still didn't stop Melissa from entering Hollywood on her own terms, often working alongside her mother.

Melissa, who worked the red carpet awards pre-show circuit with her mom starting in the mid-1990s and later served as executive producer of E!'s "Fashion Police," acknowledged the role she and her mom had in revolutionizing the red carpet by making four simple words — "Who are you wearing?" — so iconic.

"I always say that somehow we released the kraken. Was it good or bad? Are we going to heaven and hell? Not 100 percent sure. I keep waiting for my mom to come back and tell me what to pack," she quipped.

Still, Melissa mourns the red carpet's lost edge over the years."It's become dull and safe," she lamented. "You could see people were scared to say anything."

Melissa finds it 'shocking' that some high-profile women in comedy were unkind to Joan

Although plenty of comedians, like Amy Schumer, Amy Poehler and Sarah Silverman, have expressed reverence for Joan's sometimes ruthless form of funny, not every woman who made it in comedy accords Joan with paving the way.

"There are a number of very high-profile women in comedy who weren't fans," said Melissa. "I always find that shocking. You don't have to like everybody and I'm not sure they liked her brand of comedy and were never kind to her on the red carpet."

She continued: "They never gave her the tip of the hat that she deserved from them, whether they liked her humor or not."

Melissa even recalled her mother coming off the air and saying to her, "Wow, they don't like me."

After Joan's death, Kathy Griffin reportedly stewed over a fight with Ellen DeGeneres, who, according to Griffin, called Joan's brash brand of comedy "mean." The report came years before multiple stories surfaced of DeGeneres' own behavior on her talk show set, even being accused by multiple staff members of allowing abusive behavior.

But Melissa told Insider that the talk show host warmly welcomed her when she wrote her 2015 "Book of Joan" as a tribute to her late mom.

"She was beyond gracious and remembers how good my mother was to her when she came out," Melissa said of DeGeneres. "Just because it wasn't her style of humor, Ellen realized how important and meaningful my mother's voice was to her in a personally difficult time."

Melissa was 'overwhelmed' by the outpouring of love at Joan's funeral in 2014

Joan often meditated on death, according to her daughter.

Melissa wrote in her book that her mother "loved funerals," and Joan's own star-studded goodbye was an A-list affair that she would have approved. According to the comedian's daughter, Joan had strict instructions: "I want my funeral to be a big show biz affair with lights, camera, action… I want it to be Hollywood all the way."

And she got it. Donald Trump, Hugh Jackman, Sarah Jessica Parker, Diane Sawyer, and dozens of other boldfacers paid their respects to the raspy-voiced renaissance woman who died while at the top of her game.

"It meant the world to me. Was I overwhelmed by it? Absolutely," Melissa said of the outpouring of love for Joan from around the world.

Looking back on her mother's career, Melissa said that Joan earned a legacy that's nothing to laugh at, especially for women in Hollywood.

"People always say that she was this feminist icon, but she never thought of herself as a feminist," Melissa told Insider. "We always used to say that she was the accidental feminist. Because she never thought about it—she put her head down and just worked."

She also recalled an observation by Chris Rock after Joan died: "She wasn't just the best comedienne, she was the best comic.'"

"She didn't think, 'I want to be the best woman.' She thought, "I want to be the best,'" Melissa added.