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J.Lo turned her relationship with Ben Affleck into a sweeping love story for public consumption. Was it their downfall?

Callie Ahlgrim   

J.Lo turned her relationship with Ben Affleck into a sweeping love story for public consumption. Was it their downfall?
  • Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage.
  • Six months earlier, she unveiled her documentary "The Greatest Love Story Never Told."

Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on Tuesday, ending their two-year marriage and what Affleck once described as "the greatest love story never told."

But earlier this year, Lopez took that phrase and used it to, well, tell the story.

Lopez's roller coaster relationship with Affleck — the pair originally dated in the early aughts and broke off their engagement in 2003 — was inspiration for both a movie and a documentary released on Prime Video in February. The former, "This Is Me…Now: A Love Story," depicts a fantastical version of Lopez's love life set to songs from her latest album. The latter, "The Greatest Love Story Never Told," is a documentary that shows how the former was made.

Affleck makes two subtle cameos in "This Is Me…Now," which, at the time it premiered, seemed to signal his enthusiastic involvement. Because he's a key figure in Lopez's narrative, his influence is felt throughout the film's lyrical sequences, from the dystopian heart factory scenes, which represent the pain of their first breakup, to Lopez's triumphant performance of "Midnight Trip to Vegas," a reference to where she and Affleck got married in 2022. Affleck's consent to dramatize these moments felt implied, if not essential.

But then, 11 days later, the documentary revealed the true nature of Affleck's role. In several scenes, he expresses reluctance and concern about his personal life becoming public fodder. Lopez even tells the camera that Affleck is supportive of her work, "but that doesn't mean he's comfortable being the muse."

The title of the doc (and a song on Lopez's album) is taken from a scrapbook Affleck made to preserve his love letters and emails to Lopez — all their private correspondence over the last two decades — as a gift for their first Christmas back together. Lopez proudly admits to letting her collaborators pore through its pages and treat it as their "bible," using the intimate details as inspiration for lyrics. Affleck doesn't attempt to hide his disenchantment at this revelation.

"I did really find the beauty and the poetry and the irony in the fact that it's the greatest love story never told," Affleck tells the camera. "If you're making a record about it, that seems kind of like telling it."

"Things that are private, I had always felt, are sacred and special because, in part, they're private," he adds. "So this was something of an adjustment for me."

Just two months after the documentary premiered, Affleck and Lopez separated, according to her divorce filing. It's hard not to draw a connection between these events — or at least, in retrospect, to see the documentary as foreshadowing.

Now, none of us normies can understand the inner workings of a celebrity relationship. Affleck and Lopez lost each other, found each other 20 years later, and integrated their family lives in complex ways; a breakup is hardly ever caused by one thing.

That said, respecting boundaries and values should be a cardinal rule in any relationship.

Affleck has cited the "massive amount of scrutiny" as the main catalyst for his and Lopez's original split in the aughts. Making an album, a musical, and a documentary about their relationship certainly seems like it could invite scrutiny.

To Lopez's credit, she's very open about her own failings and shortcomings in "This Is Me…Now." Her character is not painted as uncomplicated or heroic, but rather as frustrating, insecure, occasionally selfish, and romantic to a fault. The film attempts to depict her growth and newfound readiness for a mature, lasting relationship.

Still, as we see in "The Greatest Love Story Never Told," Lopez didn't heed the warnings from her filmmaker husband about self-funding the project ("Making a movie with your own money is the most famous cardinal sin in Hollywood," he tells her), just as his discomfort with her storytelling methods didn't stop her from deploying them. And if those were the scenes that she felt comfortable including in her own documentary, one can only imagine what Affleck expressed in private.

Lopez isn't the only artist who's mined her personal life to make art, and I'm sure other songwriters have fielded similar protests from friends and loved ones behind the scenes. But we can expect that in cases of heartbreak or betrayal. One might hope that if a love story is being sold to the public, both partners find it romantic, not invasive.



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