I had a young, fun mother like Lorelai Gilmore. I don't want that type of relationship with my future children.

• Growing up, my mom and I had a super close relationship like Rory and Lorelai from "Gilmore Girls."
• I can now see how our lack of boundaries put some unfair emotional pressure on me as a kid.

I've been an avid "Gilmore Girls" watcher since the show premiered when I was 10 years old. I saw myself in Rory, a studious child who cared more about books than boys.

Like Rory, my mom had me quite young, at 22 years old. She took pride in being a young, fun mom, saying that because of our narrow age difference, we had an opportunity to be closer than typical mothers and daughters.

But my mother prioritized our friendship, which meant there were very few boundaries in our relationship.

My mom and I were always extremely close

My mom and I shared everything from clothes and shoes to purses and jewelry.

She would convince me to play hooky from school to go shopping at Marshalls, HomeGoods, Payless, or the mall. And we gossiped about everything — from the drama in her friend group to the arguments between her and her ex-husband (my dad).

She yearned to be emotionally close to me, to know all about what was happening in my life. And in turn, she shared what was happening in hers.

But even though we had a strong relationship, it was like we were friends first and mother and daughter second.

Rewatching the show, I realize this dynamic is rooted in a lack of boundaries

I'm now 32 years old, and it makes me cringe to see how much Lorelai looks to Rory for emotional support.

Their lack of boundaries introduced Rory to relationship dynamics that were often too mature and nuanced for a teenager to understand. She had to prioritize her mother's emotional experience.

Just like Rory, I shouldn't have known about my mom's love life or her fights with my dad — no matter how much I pried for the details.

The emotional closeness that was gained between my mom and me created distance in other areas of my life, shifting my attention away from my own emotional processing.

I was simply too young, too immature, and too emotionally underdeveloped to grasp the complexities of adult relationships.

I'm considering my own journey into motherhood, but I'll be doing things differently

My relationship with my mom gave me many gifts: an ability to be flexible and open to life, the capacity for empathy, and an understanding of responsibility and accountability, to name a few.

I wouldn't want any other mom than the one I had, and I'm grateful that she was my best friend in my teenage years. I loved being her "twin" and her "mini-me."

But now, 10 years older than my mom was when she had me, I've come to learn that there's a necessary emotional distance that must exist between mother and child. It helps a child protect their childhood just a little while longer.

As much as I want my future children to know me, I don't want them to feel accountable for my emotions. I'd like to teach them the value of boundaries so I can help them with their own emotional experiences.

Having been the Rory to a Lorelai, I know that anyone can be a best friend. But only your mother can be your mom.