Holly Madison says she felt like a 'piece of meat' after having sex with Hugh Hefner for the first time: 'I just remember feeling so gross and so used'

• Holly Madison said she felt like a "piece of meat" after sex with Hugh Hefner for the first time.
• She said she was pressured to have sex by Hefner's then-girlfriend that they called "the recruiter."

Holly Madison described on her "Girls Next Level" podcast on Monday feeling like "a piece of meat" when she first had sex with Hugh Hefner.

"I just remember feeling so gross and so used," Madison said around the 43-minute mark of the episode.

Madison told her cohost Bridget Marquardt that one of Hefner's girlfriends at the time served as a sort of "recruiter" for the Playboy founder. Madison and Marquardt didn't name the person, but alleged on their podcast that the woman groomed each of them.

"She was super friendly and she did make me feel really at ease but of course, there's a reason for that," said Madison.

Madison said that after a night out, Hefner's girlfriends and dates would accompany him to his bedroom. During Madison's first time in his bedroom, she said the woman she refers to as the recruiter asked Hefner, "Daddy, do you want to get the new girl?" Madison said Hefner then got on top of her and they had sex when she was "so fucking wasted."

Madison said even though she became one of Hefner's girlfriends after that, she called the experience "traumatic" — saying she had a "mental break" — because she had assumed she wouldn't be having sex that night.

"I never in a million years thought that I would be the first person he'd try to have sex with 'cause I was new," she said.

Madison addressed any critics who might judge her for her expectations. "People can debate how much I should have been prepared for it but what people can't debate is how it made me feel," she said around the 43-minute mark. "And I just remember feeling so gross and so used."

"I felt like this girl was being so nice to me and so welcoming," she said, referring to the woman who had recruited her, "but really I was just like another piece of meat for her to throw under him so she looks better and she wins points."

Madison did not divulge on the podcast exactly when this incident took place, but said she moved into the mansion in 2001 shortly after it occurred. Marquardt and Madison each were girlfriends of Hefner and appeared on the E! series "The Girls Next Door" with him from 2005 to 2010.

Marquardt also described her own feelings about her first time with Hefner and said the same "recruiter" made her feel as if she didn't have a choice about participating in the sexual activities.

"We get to the mansion and I get out of the limo and I'm planning to go to my car and then 'the recruiter' says, 'Are you coming upstairs with us?' And I said, 'Well, I really don't want to,'" said Marquardt (her story starts around the 46-minute mark).

She said the woman replied, "Well, I can tell you that if you don't come up tonight, you probably won't be invited back."

Marquardt said "the recruiter" ordered food and drinks to the room and that the room had the vibe of an afterparty. She said she was initially having a good time until things progressed.

"I was hoping that I could just observe and not participate," she said. She added that she was "definitely not ready" and "didn't want to."

She said, "the recruiter" came up to her to ask if she was going to take a turn with Hefner, saying: "'If you don't do this you probably won't be invited back.' And I was like, 'Um, OK,'" she continued.

Marquardt referred to her choice as "a game-time decision" that she felt confused about.

"I did it and it was disappointing and embarrassing," she said.

"Do I want my whole everything with Playboy just to end right here right here, right now, or am I just gonna do this?" Marquardt remembered asking herself.

"When I woke up the next morning, I felt really weird," she said.

"I just felt gross, like I wanted to throw up and I felt like it wasn't my character," she continued later.

When reached for comment on these recent allegations, a Playboy spokesperson said: "Today's Playboy is not Hugh Hefner's Playboy, and the Hefner family is no longer associated with the company."

Additional accusations about the culture at the Playboy mansion were made in the 2022 A&E docuseries "Secrets of Playboy." Hefner's son, Cooper Hefner tweeted in response to the accusations on Jan 23, 2022.

"Some may not approve of the life my Dad chose, but my father was not a liar. However unconventional, he was sincere in his approach and lived honestly," wrote Cooper.

"He was generous in nature and cared deeply for people. These salacious stories are a case study of regret becoming revenge," he continued.

A group of former Playboy bunnies released an open letter in support of Hefner that denounced the docuseries and referred to Hefner as an individual of "upstanding character exceptional kindness, and dedication to free thought," in February 2022.

Listen to the full episode below.