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Here's why fans are so obsessed with Taylor Swift's love life, according to relationship experts

Jun 7, 2023, 02:35 IST
Insider
Taylor Swift with fans in 2019.Kevin Mazur/Getty Images
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Taylor Swift's personal life has long been the subject of headlines, and her recent relationships seem to have drawn more scrutiny than ever.

Her seemingly sudden split from longterm boyfriend Joe Alwyn in April was almost immediately followed by rumors of a budding relationship with The 1975 singer Matty Healy. Just weeks after the controversial relationship apparently began, the two have reportedly broken up.

Many of Swift's fans have made their strong opinions about the singer's romantic life known, either by posting online or showing up in person to visit sites they believe to be connected to her past relationships.

Insider spoke to two experts — Sally Theran, an associate professor of psychology at Wellesley College, and Amber Kelleher-Andrews, a relationship matchmaker and CEO of Kelleher International — about why fans have been so invested in Swift's romantic life for close to two decades.

Some fans have a parasocial relationship with Swift

A parasocial relationship is an "imaginary relationship" with a celebrity or public figure, Theran told Insider following Swift's breakup with Alwyn.

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Fans in parasocial relationships with their favorite celebrity may be extremely interested in a star's personal life, root for good things to happen to them, imagine having conversations with them, and may miss them when they don't see them on TV or online, psychologist Shira Gabriel previously told Insider.

"One of the things that's fascinating [...] to me about parasocial relationships is no one really knows Taylor Swift," Theran said. "She is a master at projecting a persona that we want to see and that she wants us to see. But none of us know her as a person."

In April, devastated fans left flowers at Swift's former apartment on Cornelia Street in New York City, a location that fans suspect has ties to the singer's relationship with Alwyn. At the time, Theran noted that this reaction was based on limited information about Swift's attitude to the breakup.

"We're projecting by putting flowers at her old doorstep," she said. "You're projecting feelings of sadness and grief, when that may not be how she feels about the end of the relationship at all."

According to Kelleher-Andrews, there are reasons fans have developed this relationship with Swift.

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They have grown up with Swift and see her everywhere

Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas in 2008.Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images

Swift's debut album was released in 2006, when she was just 17. Many of Swift's fans have been along for the ride ever since.

"We have this affinity, and kind of protection and love, for a young artist that has grown up with us, and in our house," Kelleher-Andrews said.

Following her incredible success, Swift's omnipresence helps her lifelong fans feel connected to her. Her near-constant presence in headlines and on social media gives them an inflated sense of familiarity.

"You kind of feel like you know her," Kelleher-Andrews said. "It's definitely a strong relationship."

Easter eggs keep fans interested

Swift's music and music videos are packed with pop-culture references, reflections on her own life, and symbolism.

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"We are always on an Easter egg hunt," Kelleher-Andrews said of Swift's music. "We are wrapped up in, 'Is she talking about Healy? Is she talking about her last relationship?'"

"If we didn't care about her, if we didn't grow up with her, if we didn't know her as well as we did, we might not care to go on the hunt," she added. "But she's already got us, and she's sending us on a hunt. And we're all in."

Because Swift hints at details from her own life, Kelleher-Andrews said some fans think they are entitled to comment on it too.

"We also feel like we personally know her and that we are allowed to comment on her," Kelleher-Andrews said.

"There are some celebrities who try to be quiet, and are like 'I want my privacy.' So if we gossip about them, it's almost like we're talking about them [behind their backs], but Taylor's entire career has been based around her fans.

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"Her fans truly feel like it's their job and obligation to comment because it's what built [her] career — they're in it with her."

Fans see themselves in Swift

Taylor Swift with fans in 2019.Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

Amid this familiarity, seeing Swift go through breakups resonates with her fans.

"It's bringing up feelings about their own life for them because they have seen so much of themselves in her," Theran said.

"Part of the nature of our parasocial interactions or parasocial relationships is how it reflects on us and our lives," she continued. "They may be thinking about their own life, and 'If Taylor can't be happy, can I be happy?'"

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