Elliot Page had a secret relationship with a closeted actor for almost 2 years: 'We never touched outside, we barely went to dinner'

• Elliot Page had a secret relationship for almost two years with a closeted female actor.
• That's according to the Canadian-born actor's new memoir, "Pageboy."

Elliot Page said that he and a closeted female actor had a secret relationship for almost two years.

In his memoir "Pageboy," which was published this week, the actor has shared many bombshell revelations about his personal life, including that he had a relationship with actor Kate Mara while she was dating Max Minghella, and that he was "groomed" by an unnamed male director while he was a teenager.

In a chapter dedicated to his relationship with the unknown female star — who he referred to as "Ryan," the pseudonym he had her listed as in his phone — Page wrote that they were "desperately in love" but ended up splitting because their relationship was "unsustainable."

According to the "Umbrella Academy" star, the pair "met making a film together" when he was 26, which is also when he came out as gay.

Describing the first moment he laid eyes on "Ryan," Page wrote: "She was radiant — her dress, her smile, how she pushed her hair from her face."

They "discussed books, activism, our collective consciousness, and the deep intelligence of nature," and "would hold hands under a blanket" while on set so as not to alert others to their clandestine romance, Page recalled.

"We were together for almost two years, and even some of my closest friends were not aware I was in a relationship," Page wrote. "Her parents did not know. I was the friend that came for Christmas. Only her sister and two of her friends knew."

"We never touched outside, we barely went to dinner," he added.

Page, who announced that he was transgender in 2020, said that although "Ryan would "question queerness," something that made Page "angry at her," he put his concerns aside.

"I wanted to be with her, we loved each other, cared deeply, and had a meaningful time together. There was a lot of goodness there, healing even," he wrote.

Although there was a lot of secrecy surrounding their relationship, Page said they managed to have "a lot of fun" and described how they had "discreet adventurous sex," including behind a boulder at Joshua Tree National Park and on an airplane.

Page recalled that while lying in bed one night "Ryan" suggested that they should get boyfriends to "throw people off, as if that would mitigate the shame and vigilance."

The couple eventually broke up because "it was not a sustainable relationship," Page wrote. "The lying, the anxiety, the disgust. People didn't 'think she was queer,' but they definitely assumed I was, and I don't think she could handle the shame."

"Ultimately, she had to do what was best for her, and unfortunately it resulted in my heart being shattered."

The Canadian-born actor wrote that not long after their separation, he saw "Ryan" again at a mutual friend's party with a "tall and handsome" man.

"I guess I should be happy for her, I tried to convince myself. I wanted to be, to be evolved, but it was too much. It unreservedly gutted me," Page wrote.

Page said he pretended to get food poisoning to excuse himself from the party, only to have "Ryan"'s date bring over some coconut water.

"He had no idea about our history of course," he wrote. "It was a kind gesture, but I wanted to take that coconut water and throw it."

"Pageboy" by Elliot Page is out now.