Drew Barrymore says acting doesn't feel 'emotionally available' to her right now: 'I struggle to be someone else'

• Drew Barrymore said she's not "emotionally available" to acting right now.
• The talk show host confirmed that she's not retiring anytime soon though.

In a new Los Angeles Times interview, movie star and talk show host Drew Barrymore explained why she doesn't feel "emotionally available" to act anytime soon.

"I just need to be myself. I struggle to be someone else," the "Never Been Kissed" star explained. "I just can't see acting right now." She originally took a hiatus from the big screen to spend more time with her daughters Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8.

She said she began discussing the idea of doing a talk show, "The Drew Barrymore Show," with CBS in 2019 and was drawn to the idea of having a production schedule that would allow her to make the girls breakfast in the morning and see them off to school before going to work. At the end of her workday, she picks them up from school and spends the whole night with them.

But, don't read too much into her words. "I hate when people are like, 'I'm retiring,' or 'This is my goodbye.' I don't want it to come off that way," she said, also noting that she's not trying to be "dismissive" of the craft.

Los Angeles Times reporter Amy Kaufman noted that Barrymore said she might be open to working with her friend Adam Sandler in another movie in the future. But she called being a mother "the role of my life."

Barrymore admitted that because of a traumatic childhood that included a rehab stint for a drug addiction, she sometimes still feels that her new successful chapter could disappear in an instant.

"I'm pretty sure that this will all go away at any moment, I will get locked up again, and I will lose my job," she said.

The "Ever After" star started considering what retirement would feel like when she got sick with COVID-19 and rapper 50 Cent filled in to host the show in 2022.

"I went to a dark place that I hadn't been near in a very long time," she said. "And then I asked myself: 'What if you retired?'" Barrymore said that when she really considered the question, the answer surprised her.

"It was like Dorothy coming out of the house," she said, referencing "The Wizard of Oz." "And the world went from black-and-white to Technicolor." Barrymore was clear that she's not quitting her hosting gig anytime soon, but it was a big deal to realize she'd be okay if she did.

"My worth has been so wrapped up in this job and this life, because it's given me so much," she said. "I realized that just with me and my girls, I am truly happy. I'd always thought I'd be on this hamster wheel for this whole life. But maybe there will be something different before the lights go out."

"The Drew Barrymore Show" airs weekdays on CBS.