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Demi Lovato says being non-binary is 'exhausting' because she has to deal with things like 'having to access the women's bathroom, even though I don't completely identify with it'

Jun 14, 2023, 23:29 IST
Insider
Lovato said her struggle is worth it as long as there are people who she's helped "feel more comfortable in their skin."Alex Goodlett / Stringer/Getty Images
  • Demi Lovato said it's "exhausting" to identify as non-binary in a new interview with GQ Hype Spain.
  • "Having to access the women's bathroom, even though I don't completely identify with it" doesn't make sense, she said.
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Demi Lovato said she's found it difficult to live with they/them pronouns, and struggled as a gender-non-binary person with having to use women's restrooms.

Lovato spoke to GQ Hype Spain recently about her decision to reintroduce she/her pronouns in addition to they/them pronouns and how "exhausting" it's been to live in a world with so few gender-neutral public spaces.

"I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns. It was absolutely exhausting," Lovato said in the interview, which was translated by Insider. "I just got tired. But for that very reason I know that it is important to continue spreading the word."

"I face this every day. For example, in public toilets. Having to access the women's bathroom, even though I don't completely identify with it," she continued. "I would feel more comfortable in a genderless bathroom. Or it also happens when filling out forms, such as government documents or any other where you have to specify your gender. You only have two options, male and female, and I feel like none of that makes sense to me."

The "Cool for the Summer" singer went on to say that living in a world in which the male/female binary is the default simply doesn't resonate with her.

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"I see myself conditioned to choose 'woman' because there are no more options. I think this has to change. Hopefully, with time, there will be more options."

Lovato initially came out as non-binary and changed her pronouns to "they/them" in May 2021.

"Today is a day I'm so happy to share more of my life with you all — I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary & will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward," she wrote on Instagram.

She added: "This has come after a lot of healing & self-reflective work. I'm still learning & coming into myself, & I don't claim to be an expert or a spokesperson. Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me."

In August 2022, Lovato said she'd readopted she/her pronouns because she'd been feeling "more feminine."

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"Yeah, so, they/them is, um, I've actually adopted the pronouns of she/her again," she told Spout Podcast host Tamara Dhia. "I think what's important is nobody's perfect. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, and especially when people are learning. It's just all about respect."

Despite the difficulties she's faced, Lovato says she believes she made the right decision to go public.

"It will be worth it as long as there are people who tell me that I am an inspiration to them or that I have helped them learn more about themselves and feel more comfortable in their skin," she told GQ Spain. "That is the most significant thing for me."

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