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Chrissy Teigen explains why it was important for John Legend to photograph her on the day she lost her pregnancy

Kim Renfro   

Chrissy Teigen explains why it was important for John Legend to photograph her on the day she lost her pregnancy
  • In a blog post published on Medium on Tuesday, Chrissy Teigen recounted the day she lost her pregnancy.
  • Teigen thanked the many people who sent her kind words and gifts, and she addressed why she shared intimate photos from the hospital room that night.
  • "I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was," she wrote, referring to her husband, John Legend.
  • Teigen also said she didn't care about some people's criticisms of the photos.
  • "These photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like," Teigen wrote. "These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me."

After a month of almost full social-media silence, Chrissy Teigen published a blog post on Medium on Tuesday recounting the day she lost her pregnancy and the following weeks.

"I didn't really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you," Teigen said. "For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes."

On September 30, Teigen and John Legend shared photos on Twitter and Instagram showing Teigen grieving in a hospital bed.

After receiving multiple blood transfusions and updating her followers on her pregnancy, which was about halfway along, Teigen said that doctors were unable to stop the bleeding and that she had lost the pregnancy.

In the blog post, Teigen went into detail about the difficulties she had with the pregnancy and how eventually the doctor said that "it was time to say goodbye."

"I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was," Teigen said. "I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn't make sense to him at the time."

We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack - I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Sep 30, 2020 at 8:58pm PDT

"But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles," Teigen continued. "And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story."

After Teigen and Legend posted the photos, many other people shared their own stories of pregnancy losses, miscarriages, and stillbirths.

"Chrissy's openness helps to shed this stigma and advance conversations about the topic, and help people realize that in the vast majority of cases there is nothing that anybody did or didn't do that could prevent this devastating event," Dr. Lilli Dash Zimmerman, a fertility specialist at Columbia University's Fertility Center who wasn't involved in Teigen's care, told Insider.

But not everyone online was supportive of Teigen's choice. Her accounts were flooded with harassment and abuse tied to QAnon conspiracy theorists, and other people said the photos were in poor taste.

"I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done," Teigen wrote in the new blog post. "I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me."

Teigen ended the post with another message of gratitude to people who had shared their own stories with her and to her fans who supported her.

You can read the full post on Medium here.

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