Camila Cabello opens up about her battle with OCD and 'relentless anxiety': 'It made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me'

• Camila Cabello spoke about her experience with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in an essay published in WSJ. Magazine on Thursday.
• The 23-year-old contrasted what fans saw on her social media page versus the "relentless anxiety" she faced daily.
• Cabello said she felt "embarrassed and ashamed" but was "desperate for relief" from her physical and emotional symptoms.
• "It made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me," she explained.
• Through cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, and breathwork, Cabello shared that she's "the healthiest and most connected" that she's ever been.

Camila Cabello delved into her experience with anxiety and OCD in an essay published in WSJ. Magazine on Thursday in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month.

The 23-year-old singer emphasized that the image fans saw on her social media page was much different than her reality. Because while she showed off the glitzy outfits and sessions creating music, Cabello admitted that she faced a "constant, unwavering, relentless anxiety that made day-to-day life painfully hard."

"I was embarrassed and ashamed. I didn't want the people who thought I was strong and capable and confident—the people who most believed in me—to find out that I felt weak," she said.

Cabello added, "The little voice in my head was telling me that if I was honest about my mental health struggle and my internal battles (i.e. being human), people would think there was something wrong with me, or that I wasn't strong, or that I couldn't handle things."

And although she resisted drawing attention to her mental health battle for a long time, the Grammy Award-nominated singer eventually realized she needed help.

"There was something hurting inside me, and I didn't have the skill to heal it or handle it," she said. "In order to heal it, I had to talk about it."

Cabello, who rose to fame as a member of Fifth Harmony before launching her solo career at the end of 2016, explained that her anxiety showed itself as OCD, leading to "obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors."

"To put it simply, it made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me," she said.

The musician added that the condition affected her physically as well — causing a knot in her throat, inability to sleep, and a chronic headache. When she noticed that her relationships with those around her, particularly with her mother and sister, had suffered, she decided it was time to get help.

Thanks to methods like cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, and breathwork, Cabello said she's "no longer in that internal war."

"I feel the healthiest and most connected to myself I've ever been, and nowadays I rarely suffer from OCD symptoms," she said, explaining that she views anxiety differently when it does manifest itself.

"For a long time, anxiety felt like it was robbing me of my humor, my joy, my creativity and my trust. But now anxiety and I are good friends. I listen to her, because I know she's just trying to keep me safe, but I don't give her too much attention. And I sure as hell don't let her make any decisions," she said.

Cabello has spoken about her mental health over the years and described her anxiety prior to getting help during a 2016 interview with Billboard.

"I was having terrible anxiety, nonstop. My heart would beat really fast the whole day. Two hours after I woke up, I'd need a nap because my body was so hyperactive. It was so eff — sorry, but it was so f---ed up. I was scared of what would happen to me, of the things my brain might tell me," she said.

Four months after the interview, she left a Fifth Harmony concert early as a result of her anxiety. After apologizing for leaving, she tweeted, "just wanna sleep for 3 days."