Alicia Keys said she wrote "all" of her empowering songs to convince herself that she was strong in her July 2020 cover story for InStyle.- "There hasn't been one that I wrote because I actually believed it at the time. I needed to pull myself out of a rut or a place of confusion," the singer said.
- Keys also reflected on her desire to fit in early in her career, saying she "wouldn't go back to being 20 if somebody paid me."
- "I'm coming to the place now where I'm able to live more fully in my skin, my imperfections, my feelings, which are so hard to access," she said.
The voice behind anthems like "Girl on Fire," "A Woman's Worth," and "Superwoman," Alicia Keys said she wrote empowering songs to convince herself of her own strength.
During her July 2020 cover story for InStyle, the Grammy-winning singer, 39, said that while many of her lyrics share the messaging of a confident and fiercely independent woman, Keys felt far from powerful while creating them.
"There hasn't been one that I wrote because I actually believed it at the time. I needed to pull myself out of a rut or a place of confusion," she said.
Her self-doubt and insecurity began from a young age, the New York City-native explained. Even as she received a full scholarship to Columbia University and signed a record deal, Keys recalled having a difficult time expressing her own opinions and thoughts.
"I didn't even know that I was building up an armor," she said. "And that I was stuck behind it."
Keys catapulted to fame after dropping her debut single "Fallin'" in 2001 — which she sang on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" before it proceeded to top Billboard's Hot 100 chart and win multiple Grammy Awards. The story that went on behind the scenes, however, was much different.
"I swear, I wouldn't go back to being 20 if somebody paid me — it was literally the worst time ever," she said. "I wanted to fit in so desperately. I was so blind, so dependent on everybody else's opinions, so uncomfortable, so unclear."
With 15 Grammy Awards under her belt, two sons with her husband Swizz Beatz, an upcoming album titled "Alicia" (which has been delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic), and involvement with charities such as Keep a Child Alive and She Is the Music, Keys said that she's learned to listen to her own message.
"I'm coming to the place now where I'm able to live more fully in my skin, my imperfections, my feelings, which are so hard to access," she said. "Because we want to protect our heart, right? That's what we're all doing in some way. And I think my ability to access that place has brought a deeper connection to other people."
Keys previously addressed her struggle to discover her self-worth during an October 2019 episode of "Red Table Talk."
"I have been doing this thing for many years, where I have been downplaying whatever it is I need because I never want to come off as too demanding," she said. "I always thought that that was a very righteous, beautiful way to be. I've been battling potentially some self-worth issues because, for whatever reason, I feel I'm not deserving of greatness. I've been smushing it down for so long that it has become a habit — a bad habit."
The musician added that many of her fans don't realize that some of her most empowering songs have come at times when she needed them herself.
"It's so interesting that I've become known for songs that are empowering for women," Keys said.
She added, "I realize now that the times that I've written those songs are the times I needed those songs. It was usually at times when I felt so un-strong, so un-Superwomanly, so weak or confused or feeling misunderstood, that the only way to get through that was to write what I was hoping for."