- Many people say "Love Actually" is a classic rom-com movie worthy of a rewatch each holiday season.
- But other people have been pointing out the sexism in the 2003 movie for quite some time now.
'Tis the season to be jolly and remind everyone that "Love Actually" is one of the most problematic and sexist Christmas movies still considered to be a holiday staple in homes around the world.
Many people — myself included — cozy up and watch "Love Actually" almost every year. In the 14 years since it's release (you can see how the cast has changed since then here), "Love Actually" has managed to become a ritualistic part of holiday movie watching just like "Miracle on 34th Street" or "It's A Wonderful Life."
But while some have latched onto "Love Actually" for its promise of feel-good romance and a star-studded cast, others have pointed out the many misogynistic issues embedded in the script. If you haven't read Lindy West's takedown of "Love Actually" — stop everything you're doing and go read it.
Let's dive into the muck. First up — the constant references to overweight women.
The strange volume of references to Natalie's weight
For a movie supposedly about true love, there are way too many jokes made about women's weight. Pajiba writer Courtney Enlow wrote an excellent breakdown of the most bizarre repetition of fat jokes all about one character: Natalie.
"'Love Actually's' biggest mystery is this: Why does everyone think Natalie, played by actress Martine McCutcheon, is such a monstrous fat cow beast creature?" Enlow wrote in 2014.
First Natalie tells Prime Minister David — her bachelor boss played by Hugh Grant — a story about how her boyfriend dumped her because "she was getting fat."
Then Natalie has a weird encounter with the President of the United States, in which he takes advantage of his powerful position to make a pass at her. After witnessing the uncomfortable moment, David takes revenge with a politically charged speech aimed at the President and then fires Natalie.
Technically, he asks for her to be "distributed elsewhere," but even during that conversation her weight comes up again. David's chief of staff refers to her as "the chubby girl." Later Natalie's father calls her "Plumpy," as if that's a cute nickname your grown daughter loves to hear.
There's another fat joke directed towards a different character that never made it into the movie, but still tarnishes our memory of "Love Actually."
The weird fat joke that only appeared in the trailer
Everyone remembers the iconic "Love Actually" scene in which Mark — a man who has fallen in love with his best friend's new wife, Juliet, apparently without ever speaking to her — shows up to the newlyweds house and silently performs the romantic gesture of professing his love for her.
Sweet, right? Well ... it's actually kind of creepy and disrespectful. Your BEST FRIEND just married a woman who you have feelings for. Yes, that sucks, but your plan is to go behind your friend's back to tell Juliet that you love her and probably will for the rest of your life?
As Lindy West put it succinctly back in 2013: "That best man guy shows up at Keira Knightley's house and spawns a decade of nice-guy emotional manipulation re-framed as 'romance.' And Keira Knightley f------- kisses him for it."
Then it gets worse. Two years ago, while re-watching Christmas movie trailers, because why not, we realized that there was an extra card originally in that stack of "romance." This is straight from the official Universal movie trailer:
"Fatso."
Mark was supposed to call Juliet "fatso" while in the middle of professing his love to her. That doesn't even make sense. And in the trailer, she just laughs at it? As if that's the funniest joke a man she barely knows and who has treated her with disdain as a method of self-preservation can make?
Women's general lack of agency
Moving on from the fat jokes, it's hard to ignore the fact that women have little to no agency in this movie — unless they're after sex.
The movie barely passes the Bechdel test — as far as we can tell the only two female characters who speak about something other than a man are Karen and her daughter Daisy. They discuss the lobster's role in the nativity play.
But Daisy is one of the minor named characters, and all the other women only ever speak with men in romantic settings.
Lindy West pointed out that the largest example of this comes from Colin Firth's storyline, in which he stays in a French home and falls in love with the woman hired to clean his house every day without every properly speaking to her.
"Colin Firth falls in 'love' with Aurelia at first sight, establishing 'Love Actually''s central moral lesson: The less a woman talks, the more lovable she is," West wrote. "None of the women in this movie f------ talk. All of the men in this movie 'win' a woman at the end. This god d--- movie."
The demoralizing conclusion of the cheating plotline
The most depressing storyline in "Love Actually" is Harry's extra-marital affair.
Harry, played by Alan Rickman, has an affair with his secretary (a character reduced to walking genitals, according to West's apt description). Eventually Harry's wife, Karen, realizes what's happening and tearfully confronts him.
At the end of the movie we see her greeting him at the airport, and it's unclear whether she decided to leave him or not. But one of the script editors for "Love Actually" (and the wife of the writer and director Richard Curtis) tweeted some depressing confirmations about the ending in 2015.
—emma freud (@emmafreud) December 13, 2015
—emma freud (@emmafreud) December 13, 2015
Not only did Harry definitely have a physical affair as well as an emotional one, but Karen decides to stay with him even though their home will never be as happy again. We're not arguing that divorce is always the answer, but it's upsetting to have no real closure for this narrative.
At the very least we would have appreciated seeing a real, meaningful conversation between Harry and Karen about his actions and their marriage.
All the turtlenecks. All of them.
Just kidding. The turtlenecks are the best part this movie. If there's one thing that gets more and more fun with each re-watching of "Love Actually," it's pointing and subsequently ranking every turtleneck worn throughout the film. BuzzFeed did the "Definitive Ranking of All the Turtlenecks in 'Love Actually'" back in 2013 and it's a must-read.
You have Mia's saucy black turtleneck, Daniel's sad "my wife just died" turtleneck, and "Just" Judy's appropriately nude-colored turtleneck. But the best of all is Mark's "Oh crap, Juliet knows I love her" turtleneck.
It starts out as a regular zip up sweater.
But then it transforms into a turtleneck of shame and self-delusion:
Brilliant.
But in all seriousness. There are more issues with "Love Actually" than we've had time to go through here. You should really take a read through Lindy West's hilarious takedown of the movie.
I still watch it every year, but as my colleague Megan Willett-Wei said, it's a movie best enjoyed with "eyes wide open." Being aware of the issues with the representation of women and relationships in movies like "Love Actually" is an important first step. So, if you must, sit back and enjoy the cheesy sexism and plethora of turtlenecks. But don't mistake the movie's message of "love" for the real deal.