We looked inside the $200,000 Oscar swag bag, and it's as bizarre as it sounds
The most curious item is the gift certificate for a "vampire breast lift" worth $1,900. Dr. Charles Runels will use your own blood to, supposedly, rejuvenate your breasts and stimulate cleavage by placing the plasma from the blood directly on the skin.
These could prove useful for the nominees right away, especially if they make it up to the podium: Dandi patches ($21) that absorb your underarm sweat to keep you looking dry.
Don't worry, these aren't just any M&M's. These $300 Personalized My M&M's come with messages on the chocolates reminding you that you are an Oscar nominee with every bite.
These toiletries from Joseph's include toilet paper that retails for $275 a pack, endorsed by none other than Gwyneth Paltrow herself.
Here's what the actual toilet paper looks like. Is it worth $275? We didn't get a chance to actually try it, but we'll leave it up to you.
Per Paltrow's Goop recommendation: "JOSEPH’S Toiletries is the most soothing and absorbent toilet paper in the world. Each individual sheet is a multi-layered microcosm of form and function constructed with comfort and cleanliness in mind. Tender virgin new-growth fibres are refined with a provitamin B5 and essential mineral coating to provide maximum skin protection even in dry use. The dendritic structure of the inner core provides optimal absorption while the outer layers act as moisture barrier for wet use. The ultra-gentle quilted surface provides profound softness."
Here's the vaporizer from Haze, which retails for $249.99. DiCaprio might get in trouble if he tries to use it inside, though: The Oscars banned vaping in the ceremony.
Here's just some of the lifetime supply of Lizora's tea skin cream you get (for a value of $31,200). It smells surprisingly good.
They may not look so glamorous, but maple syrup and maple-based dressings from Rouge ($99) come with a bonus.
Congratulations, with your syrup, you've also just adopted a Canadian maple tree for life.
There's a nice charity element to the swag bag: 10,000 bowls of pet food donated to the shelter of your choosing.
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