It is a known fact that our country is governed by politicians who are comedians in disguise. From making every Indian laugh at their utterly false promises to disrupting the Parliament day after day and being involved in scams of massive proportions, our politicians are guilty of indulging in them all.
While they might not excel at what they’ve been elected to do (no surprises there), we can’t help but admit that our politicians do have some hidden talents. Unfortunately, they are unable to hone these talents due to the immense burden of governing a country on their shoulders. (also alternatively known as the burden of enforcing a ban on everything we’ve ever loved and cared for)
To make things easier for our beloved politicians in case they ever decide to take a leap from the world of politics, also known as the world of looting the taxpayer’s money, Business Insider draws up a list of alternate career suggestions for eight ministers depending on what their skill sets are.
1.
Narendra Modi may have been entrusted with the duty of being the Prime Minister of India, the biggest democracy in the world, but the one job his majesty is tailor-made for is that of a ‘Travel blogger’. During his tenure as PM, Modi has visited more countries than the number of successful sessions the Parliament has witnessed, and if that’s not a big achievement, I don’t know what is. In his is future travel blog titled ‘How to take selfies while traveling around the world in 80 days,’ Modi could write about his experiences in every country he’s visited till date, while the readers could rate the selfie accompanying the post. Majama!
2.
The Congress Vice President possesses a face which looks perennially confused and not being able to figure why things never work out in his favour adds to his woes.
Maybe, that is why we think he’ll blend in perfectly as one of the cast-members in the next sequel of Golmaal. Let’s observe a one minute silence and pray that in his new job as a confused cast-member, Rahul baba wouldn’t have to take advice from a cheat-sheet or Mommy Gandhi.
3.
Of late, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal’s Twitter timeline has started bearing resemblance to that of Mihir Fadnavis’ timeline. Turns out, Kejriwal is a closet movie-buff. Apart from raking up electricity bills in lakhs, Arvind Kejriwal’s other talent lies in critiquing movies. He’s done every cinegoer a favour by taking his unofficial career as a ‘Film critic’ sincerely and telling us in advance which movies we should watch and which we shouldn’t. Delhi’s problems can wait as long as he guarantees that Masaan, Drishyam and PK are a ‘must-watch.’
4. Jayalalithaa
Despite being convicted in the Rs 66.65 crore disproportionate assets case and the court giving her a jail term of four years, Tamil Nadu Chief Minister Jayalalithaa’s stint in jail was shorter than Sunny Leone’s clothes and if that isn’t enough evidence for why she should immediately take up being a Con escape artist full time, what is?
5.
If Mamata Banerjee wasn’t a politician or the Chief Minister (how we wish), she would’ve been a model. For cartoonists.
It has been found that every single facial expression on Mamata’s face can be converted into a cartoon. There's also one round of whispers which claim that the day she decides to take up face modeling and spare the state of West Bengal, cartoonists all over the country will declare a holiday to celebrate getting a lifetime muse.
6. Lalu Prasad Yadav
“Jab tak rahega samose mein aloo, tab tak rahega Bihar me Lalu”
This gem of a one-liner saw the light of the day only and only because of Lalu Prasad Yadav. While we were always aware of his funny bone, what sealed the deal for us was his recent mimicry of Lord Make Fun Of Me Not, aka Narendra Modi. We’re a country starved of humour and thus the need of the hour is to ensure Laluji leaves politics and follows his heart (and our laughs) to become a standup comedian.
7. Smriti Irani
The HRD Minister has received a lot of flak for her allegedly forged educational qualifications. While we’ll keep mum on whether the allegations against her or true or not, we'll go ahead and say that if there comes a time when she’s bored of making Sanskrit compulsory in Kendriya Vidyalayas mid-session, she could always try her hand at becoming a Dean in a University. But, is she qualified enough for the role? Guess we'll never know.
8.
The President of Bharatiya Janata Party Amit Shah is best known for his event management skills. Be it, the Gujarat riots, 2014 elections or the ‘weighty’ event of him being stuck in a Bihar lift, Shah has left no stone unturned to exercise his gleaming event management skills in every scenario and have us all fooled. Thus, if Shah is ever considering a switch, there would be no better field than Event Management. We even have a tagline suggestion- ‘Let us help in making your next event a riot.’
Image credit: Indiatimes