School spirit days are great for students — even if they stress parents out

• In high school I stuck to participating in the most basic spirit days.
• Now as an adult, I see the value in them and how they create community.

Many of us remember the school spirit days of simpler times: Pajama Day, Wacky Wednesday, Superhero Day, or Ugly Sweater Day.

Today's themes have expanded to the eccentric and extreme; parents declare "Dress Like Your Favorite Storybook Character" to be too much, while Palo Alto High School students — the birthplace, in fact, of spirit week itself — rally around "Salad Dressing Day" to spark "fun, collaboration, and unity," according to the Paly Voice.

It's no secret that school spirit days incite an array of reactions.

I see the benefits in kids

When I was in high school, I avoided anything but the most basic attempts at school spirit. I've since had a change of heart and have seen the ways that inclusive, welcoming school spirit days can bring much-needed fun, joy, and levity to everyday life.

After attending a university with unabashed school spirit and spending over two decades as an academic advisor to middle school, high school, and college students, I've seen the many ways school spirit days can have a positive impact on connection, collaboration, and creativity.

At a time when so many students feel isolated among peers, school spirit days can facilitate community bonding by increasing interaction and engagement. Simply complimenting a classmate's costume or participating in class competitions can become low-stakes opportunities for connection around a common goal or theme. This can have huge benefits, creating an opportunity for students to dress alike or work with others on a shared project like a dance routine, pep rally, or class float. At a time when rates of chronic absenteeism are soaring and student mental health is being eroded by the 24/7 pressures of social media, this possibility of reconnection is more urgent and important than ever.

It can, however, add to the parents' long list of things to do

Adults who object to the seemingly forced camaraderie of spirit days do also have a point. However, dress-up days can feel like one extra task on a long list of to-do's that create additional pressure and performative efforts to "outdo" each other.

Nonetheless, school spirit days don't have to be focused on one-upmanship or inequity — rather, they are most beneficial when they are, at their core, about unity and openness. For elementary school students, focusing on a few school spirit days with a simple theme that do not require last-minute costume shopping reduces adult overwhelm.

In my work with middle to college-aged students, I continually witness the power that purposeful group projects centered on school spirit can have on students' sense of self and well-being. Take, for example, one of the high school freshmen I worked with who didn't know many classmates at her new school. Her school's spirit commission had a welcoming and inclusive culture, and she joined as a way to meet new people. Having assigned tasks like decorating for the dance or creating posters for the pep rally created opportunities to talk to classmates she might not have otherwise met, and pretty soon, those planning conversations led to authentic friendships and feelings of belonging. She ended up being involved for all four years of high school, naming it one of her most meaningful activities.

We need to create opportunities for kids to make friendships

Even though making and maintaining friendships is essentially, as psychology professor Catherine Bagwell put it, "the job of childhood and adolescence," we often overlook the need to create opportunities to build these skills during critical developmental years. Especially as so many of our interactions have moved online, school spirit days can provide that chance to interact in person and find commonalities across differences, have a shared vision, and find ways to celebrate creativity.

And let's not underestimate the ways that school spirit days can build confidence by allowing kids to showcase their creativity and talents outside the traditional classroom setting. Henry, one of the students whose story I chronicle in my latest book, "Erasing the Finish Line: The New Blueprint Beyond Grades and College Admission," was nervous when asked to perform a drum solo in front of 1,700 of his peers for the school spirit week rally. But when he did it, and the crowd went wild, he redefined his own image of himself and started believing in himself as both a student and a drummer.

Across adolescence and adulthood, friendships typically blossom when centered on shared activities like sports, journalism, and music. This feeling of togetherness has been in short supply since the pandemic. School spirit days don't need to be overly complicated or create panic — some of the best ones require a low baseline effort to participate. Today's students are calling for more "life" and to build back the "vibe" that they had felt before this time, and school spirit days are one of the first, most direct steps to galvanizing group morale.