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My daughter decided to go to college in China. I couldn't be happier about her decision, even though we have no ties in the country.

Sep 20, 2023, 22:09 IST
Business Insider
The author's daughter in China.Courtesy of Sophia D. Hanani
  • When my daughter decided to go to China for college through Duke, I was happy.
  • While we have no ties to Asia, I knew the risk would pay off.
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When I tell people my daughter, Sophia, goes to an American college in China, I'm usually met with blank stares.

They usually say something like: "Why did she want to go there — of all places?"

I understand their uncertainty. America's relationship with China has been fraught for some time, and the pandemic exacerbated friction between the countries. In a Pew Research Center survey of US adults released in April, 83% of respondents expressed negative views on China.

Given these negative perceptions, why did I accept Sophia's interest in moving from our house in Southern California to China for college when we had no ancestral history with the country and never even visited it? I did it because I wanted the experience to profoundly change her worldview and how she made her way through the world.

I wanted Sophia to experience emerging adulthood in a unique way

Jeffrey Arnett, an emerging adulthood researcher, originated the theory that from 18 to 24, people explore and formulate opinions about life, love, and the world. He suggests college is the time for questioning the worldviews of one's childhood and to consider the views of others.

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It's a time to build empathy, value diversity, and gain the recognition that there are many "right" answers to a given problem. It's a time to form a set of beliefs that's a product of their independent reflections.

Starting in middle school, Sophia took advanced classes through Duke University's Talent Identification Program. When she was considering colleges, the team at Duke introduced us to Duke Kunshan University, its sister institution just outside Shanghai.

Going to school in China would mean a Duke-level education with the capacity to travel all over China and other Asian countries — while allowing her to learn Mandarin and directly experience Chinese culture. It's the perfect setting to explore diverse worldviews.

Getting to China required patience and confidence

The pandemic delayed Sophia's overseas adventure for two years, so she attended Duke while we waited for China to allow outsiders in. Once the country opened, we faced numerous obstacles: slow-moving visa approvals, unanswered emails to the embassy, and countless phone calls to find a seat on the few planes flying into Shanghai.

By September 2022, we finally secured a costly business-class seat on Delta Air Lines, and she was on her way.

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Another challenge quickly emerged. When she arrived for her mandated two-week quarantine at a hotel, she discovered she had forgotten her phone-charging cord on the plane, and her laptop started sputtering on and off erratically. Though she'd studied Mandarin for two years online, she hadn't used the language for day-to-day living. Now it needed to come together so the non-English-speaking front-desk team could understand to call the school for help.

Luckily, her Mandarin worked well enough for her to secure a charging cord and IT help from the Duke Kunshan staff. With this success, her adventure started, and I gained confidence it would go well.

As the year unfolded, Sophia's updates assured me her worldview was expanding

She told me she realized that her American reverence for individualism and instinct to be up front — and even brash — needed to be balanced against a culture that avoided confrontation.

She said she was learning the Chinese workplace norms. She likes China the best of any of the Asian countries she has visited because of the many cities brimming with culture and advanced technologies.

I watched from thousands of miles away as she got more comfortable talking to strangers and being stared at in the streets. On top of all that, her Mandarin was improving.

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Sophia's time in China has increased her desire to live abroad after graduation

A year later, we talk about what her gap year will look like before law school. The Peace Corps is high on her list — or maybe she will work for a nongovernmental organization. Would these have been considerations had she stayed in the US to study? It's doubtful. Her growing worldview probably gave rise to exploring these pursuits.

Now when people ask why she went to China, I still don't offer much in response. One either understands the cultural education she is gaining beyond our country's borders, or they don't.

Instead, I think to myself: "This person could benefit themselves from some time outside the US so their own worldview gets challenged and, hopefully, stretched."

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