I'm a high-school teacher, and I make sure all my seniors know how to handle stress before graduating

• As a high school teacher, I make all my graduating seniors understand how to handle stress.
• First, I validate their feelings by telling them it's normal to feel stressed and anxious.

I've been teaching high-school seniors for over a decade, and I've watched as they juggle schoolwork, relationships, and social media. Many of my seniors grow overwhelmed.

Recently, one student bolted into my office, complaining about a big research paper. He told me it was due in two days and that he worried he'd fail because he wouldn't be able to get it done.

"You sound stressed," I told him, knowing that validating these feelings was important.

I noticed him instantly sigh with relief, and then I asked him what his plan was. He sat down, and I helped him work out a plan to finish his paper.

Through my years of experience with students, I've realized that the most important thing I can teach seniors is how to listen to and manage their stress.

I've learned that students' stress needs to be validated

Their stress is not something to just bulldoze over or pretend doesn't exist.

Let's take the same student in the above scenario. He's also a budding pianist. I once told him that the jitters he felt before a performance were a form of anxiety, too, and that it's healthy to feel that way. I told him that anxiety let you know you're about to do something important.

This student, along with many others, needs this reminder.

According to the American Psychological Association, stress is at an all-time high for adolescents because of all the effects of the pandemic. In spring, for example, I noticed my seniors felt more stressed than in previous years. They either acted out, voiced frustration, or even grew melancholy thinking about graduating. Some said they were nervous about college, while others said they felt like the odd one out because they were taking a gap year. Some said they were worried about their grades.

I made sure to tell each of these students that their feelings were normal.

I told these students it was a big deal to graduate and move on. I emphasized that transitions were tough and that this would be one the biggest of their lives. I assured them that most seniors went through the gamut of emotions.

After I told them this, I saw most of them exhale all the pressure, and relief washed over their faces.

I also make sure my students understand how to handle their stress and move forward

When I teach students to pause, listen, and validate, I notice they then learn how to proceed.

For me, the most important thing is that I try to help them come up with a plan to move forward. Sure, I encourage them, but it has to be the students who take ownership of whatever it is they want to accomplish. So if it's studying for their exams, we chat about which method works best for them, where they study best, and, finally, when they are going to pencil in the time to make it happen.

Once students are the ones in control, they tend to not only succeed but also, most importantly, feel confident they can work through most stressors life brings them.

As Glennon Doyle coined, I say to my students daily: "We can do hard things." And my students certainly do. They recognize that what they're doing is hard but that they can work through the difficult task at hand and the difficult emotions tied to it. So once they graduate, they'll be ready to face all that's to come.