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The introvert's 5-step guide to working at home with an extrovert
The introvert's 5-step guide to working at home with an extrovert
Amy MorinApr 14, 2020, 20:55 IST
Brendon Thorne/Getty ImagesUse these communication tools to improve how you work from home.
Psychotherapist Amy Morin says she's heard from many people who don't know how to be productive while working from home during the COVID-19 pandemic.
If you're an introvert who is struggling to work while surrounded by family members or roommates, there are some strategies you can use.
Morin advises communicating openly with the people you live with about what kind of privacy and alone time you need, taking breaks and walks outside, and practicing healthy self-care.
As a mental strength trainer, I'm hearing from a lot of people who are struggling to work from home right now. And while some of the concerns are coming in from extroverts who are having a hard time being away from people, the overwhelming majority of them are from introverts who are anxious about being surrounded by their families all day long.
Their normal quiet spaces have been filled with a partner who is also working from home and children who aren't attending school.
It's not surprising that social distancing has made the divide between introverts and extroverts more apparent than ever. And for couples who abruptly had to turn their homes into shared office space, their needs for social time versus alone time may be quite vast.
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If you're an introvert, there are some things you can do to manage your workload and get along with your family when you feel like you're constantly surrounded by people.
Sometimes, introverts retreat without explaining their need for solitude. Confused by their sudden departure from the living room, well-meaning extrovert partners often follow to try and understand "what's wrong."
This is why it's so important to talk about your needs. Your partner won't understand your frustration unless you explain why you're struggling.
Make it clear, "I need 15 minutes of alone time every couple of hours. So I'm going to go into another room, shut the door, and enjoy the silence."
This is especially true if you have children. Make sure your kids know that you aren't punishing them when you tell them to color quietly for 30 minutes. You are just charging your batteries.
2. Establish ground rules
Sit down with your partner, and talk about the situation. Establish some rules that will work for the both of you.
If your partner needs to make phone calls, is there a place to do that without intruding on your space? Can you make a deal to eat lunch at the same time? (Your partner can watch videos with headphones while you enjoy the silence).
Perhaps you establish a 30-minute quiet time twice a day where your partner agrees not to talk and not to take phone calls.
Consider what will help you feel and do your best. Just make sure you're willing to make accommodations that help meet your partner's needs as well.
3. Create a workspace that works for you
Sitting on the couch next to your partner all day with the TV blaring in the background probably won't help you produce your best work.
Instead, you may do better if you have your own quiet office. Of course, most couples don't have the luxury of having separate office space.
So if you can't get your own office — and you aren't going to build your own cubicle — find creative ways to make yourself more comfortable.
Perhaps a workstation in a quiet corner facing the window works best. Or maybe you prefer to sit at the kitchen table while wearing noise-canceling headphones. Experiment with different ideas until you create a workspace that helps you feel and do your best.
4. Make time to be alone
It's important to make time for a little solitude during the day. If you don't, you'll likely find yourself staying up late or waking up early to sneak in some quiet time before anyone else is up.
Carve out a few blocks of quiet time in the morning and afternoon, and you'll feel more refreshed throughout the day.
If you're fortunate enough to have the space to go for a walk in nature, take the opportunity to do so during the day. Research shows walking alone in nature — especially during a lunch break — can help you perform better for the rest of the day.
5. Practice good self-care
Even though your partner may be craving more time with you, and everyone you know may be complaining about their own lack of social interaction, don't feel bad about seeking more solitude.
Whether you enjoy reading a good book, or you like listening to your favorite podcast, make time to do those things.
Everyone's social needs and solitary needs are a little different. And these needs may vary depending on the situation. Right now, during a time of high stress, you might find you need more quiet time than usual (or you might discover you can do fine with less than usual too).
Either way, it's up to you to develop the self-care practices that work best for you. Just make sure you communicate those needs and practices with your partner, so you can work well together under the same roof.
