- Stacy Tornio learned about work-life balance from her 24-year-old boss, Dave.
- A single mom, Tornio struggled with taking time for herself.
I've spent most of my career trying to figure out the perfect work-life balance. This has always been important as a working mom, but kid activities and family commitments have made it tough.
Even without kid schedules to juggle, it's so easy to let yourself be consumed with work. At least this has been the case for me — until I started a new job and met my 24-year-old boss, Dave.
I've always been one of those people who try to go the extra mile to prove myself, especially at work. A big reason for this is that I've always genuinely liked my jobs. I get to be creative in a lot of my work. It's genuinely hard to turn off my brain.
I met Dave while working remotely at a board game company. Though he was self-taught and dropped out of college early on, he was pretty much the best boss I've ever had. To him, work-life balance wasn't an option, it was a must.
Meeting Dave completely changed my perspective of work. He was a bit innocent, honestly, in the best way possible. Dave had never worked in a corporate environment before, where the norm is to do more with less. His idea was that work should be centered on the employee's best interests.
Here are 5 lessons I've learned from Dave that I will take with me to each new job.
1. You don't have to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave.
I've always been the person who starts work early. As a mom, it's just worked out better for my schedule. But there is such a thing as being too early to work, especially when you work remotely and have a habit of checking chat channels before you've even had a coffee or a shower.
While working with Dave, I learned to take time for myself early in the morning before the day's chaos got underway. Instead of spending an hour chit-chatting on group channels, I'll now take an extra hour to read, work out, and do my own thing before I start the workday.
Then, on the flip side, I've learned to set myself "away" and truly unplug in the evening. I had to remove Slack from my phone to make myself do this, but it's been worth it.
2. You don't always need to clock an exact eight-hour day.
I find remote work has made us harder on ourselves. We often go out of our way to prove that we're working or to make up for even a minute of lost time. Yet, a regular workday has its fair share of interruptions and breaks.
I know I work plenty of 10 or 11-hour days just because of projects or deadlines, but I flex it out. If I have a kid's basketball game to go to or an appointment to make, it's totally fine if I clock in about seven hours.
3. It's important to make time for your own personal hobbies and interests.
When working with Dave, I noticed he always did stuff on evenings and weekends — fishing, gardening, winemaking, and so much more. Plus, he actually left work on time so he could enjoy them.
Dave clearly had another life outside of work, and it made me remember some hobbies of my own. Soon, I stopped sneaking in extra work at night and got back into my own hobbies like reading and writing.
4. When you're on vacation, you should truly be on vacation.
With so many of us working remotely now, it's really easy to do a quick check-in, no matter where you are. Many of us have apps on our phones, and it just becomes a habit to be plugged into work.
I remember answering some messages while on vacation, and Dave immediately told me to unplug. I had done a lot of prep before I left, and he assured me there was nothing that couldn't wait until I returned. He said he knew how to reach me if absolutely necessary, and it helped me step away.
Since then, I've really made myself unplug on vacation. For example, I've removed Slack on my phone, and setting that boundary has helped tremendously. Plus, I've never had anyone at work question why I'm not online.
5. It's OK to take time for yourself during the day.
I used to be so worried about proving myself that I rarely took time to go out to lunch with a friend or head out for a walk to clear my mind. Dave encouraged me to go outside to brainstorm or go to the occasional midday yoga because it was when I could fit it in.
Stepping away from work like this has never impacted my ability to do my job. In fact, I believe it helped me do my job better. Now, I use this responsibly — it's not an everyday thing where I'm out for hours. However, it's one of the best things I've learned to do for myself, especially as a remote worker.
Finding a good work-life balance made me realize I was my worst enemy. I was the one who was overextending myself and finding reasons to put in extra hours at work.
We get wrapped up in the daily hustle and lose sight of what's important. Honestly, I still lose sight from time to time, but I'm far better and happier with my work-life balance than I've ever been, thanks to Dave and his wisdom.
Stacy Tornio is a journalist, marketer, and content director.