- Wynne Nowland, the chair and CEO of insurance firm Bradley and Parker, came out as trans in 2017.
- She worried some colleagues would react poorly but was pleasantly surprised by the support she got.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Wynne Nowland, the chair and CEO of Bradley and Parker. It has been edited for length and clarity.
One morning in 2017, I lingered in my car at Bradley and Parker — the Melville, New York, insurance firm where I'm the CEO. For once, I hesitated to go inside.
Usually, I'm no wallflower; you don't get to be successful in business if you're shy. But just a few hours before, I'd sent an email to my entire company in which I came out as a transgender woman and shared my new name and pronouns.
Starting that day, I finally presented as Wynne — the woman I'd long known myself to be. It had taken me a year or two to prepare and begin living as myself full time.
I had presented as male in a conservative industry for so long that coming out seemed terrifying
Corporate insurance isn't a fun, cozy product, and those of us who work in the industry know that. A lot of us are older, and many lean conservative. I wasn't sure what reactions to expect, and I was definitely anxious when I walked through the front door.
But my employees rushed to greet me with smiles, hugs, and encouragement. While a couple of employees went straight to our human-resources department to ask the all-too-familiar question of which bathroom I'd use, my team, overall, supported me immensely.
I'd also sent coming-out emails — sometimes even snail mail — to clients, business partners, vendors, and restaurants where I'd cultivated relationships with the owners.
One of my longtime clients, an older gentleman who works with a large company here in the Northeast, embodies pretty much every stereotype you can imagine of someone who wouldn't support trans rights. He was one of the people I was concerned would react negatively.
But he replied to my email within minutes with a simple message: "We're friends. This changes nothing. Talk to you later."
I recognize my privileges as someone with a prominent leadership role at an established company
I also transitioned later in life, after becoming financially stable and independent. I imagine it's even tougher to come out if those circumstances don't apply to you.
I've always been someone who tries to mentor and empower others, and since coming out, I've hoped to do that for other trans people who are considering transitioning in a world that makes it more complicated than it has to be.
I hope other trans people can see me transitioning as a CEO and know that it's possible for them, too. I want them to hear about the positive responses my workplace had and understand that, when you transition, you may be surprised to see where support comes from.
I also talk about trans issues and inclusivity at work, hoping to help normalize trans experiences for those who don't have another frame of reference. Since coming out, I have seen even more clearly how important it is to not turn people away because of who they are. It's important to elevate and support people who live outside the boundaries of what society expects of them.
I've learned in my own coming-out journey that most prejudices come from fear
Folks fear what they don't know, and the average person doesn't know anybody who is out as trans. With so much anti-trans rhetoric circulating right now, it's easy for them to lean into their fear and start to hate.
Maybe they don't understand trans identities, and maybe they don't think they support trans rights. But in my experience, coming out to someone forces them to confront the rhetoric they've heard. Learning that somebody they know and respect is trans makes them challenge any ideas they have about who trans people are.
Trans identity is not just a trend among teens and young adults, and coming out doesn't have to upend our lives. We just need a little more understanding from those around us.