- Bill Alverson, 60, is a pageant coach and seasoned trial
lawyer based in Andalusia, Alabama. - He's one of the country's most sought-after pageant coaches and starred in TLC's "Coach Charming."
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Bill Alverson, a trial lawyer and pageant coach from Alabama, about his career path. It has been edited for length and clarity.
People often think my being both an attorney and a pageant coach is an odd combination, but the two jobs have more in common than meets the eye.
After all, as a litigator, being in front of a judge and jury is like presenting to the most important panel of pageant judges there is.
During my 30 years practicing law, I've had the opportunity to argue in front of the Alabama Supreme Court and win, so if there's anyone qualified to prepare someone to answer tough questions, it's me.
Like in my law practice, I charge pageant coaching clients by the hour. My rate varies between $87 and $175 a session depending on time, work, and what's involved.
People may be able to fake a lot of things, but brains and poise aren't one of them
Plenty of people can dress up and get spray tans and hair extensions, but when you're up there on stage representing your county, state, or country, no amount of glitz and glam is going to help you when you're asked about the state of the world.
I'm used to getting paid by the hour, so I tell it to my pageant clients straight — there's no sugar coating on my time. I'm not interested in your fascination with "Gilmore Girls" or the Kardashians. If you work with me, you're going to watch the news, read books, listen to podcasts, and have your finger on the pulse of current events. I'm the grandson, son, and ex-husband of educators, and I say if you can nail the interview, you can clinch the crown. Case closed.
I once had a girl competing in Miss Alabama's Outstanding Teen competition
She'd already won a local title, but at this particular pageant, when asked about current events, she started talking about "the civil war in Israel." I mean, she literally made up a war! It was a total bust.
This cringe-worthy experience was actually the inspiration for one of the scenes in the 2018 Netflix series "Insatiable," for which I was a producer, when pageant contender Dixie is asked what she thinks of ISIS and replies, "Ices, you mean Italian ices. I just love them. Orange is my favorite."
The majority of my clients are 13 years old and up
Little kids are exhausting, and despite having raised three children, I'm not the "get on the floor and play" type, so the toddlers-and-tiaras thing isn't for me. I'm not going to tell a child to wear a flipper (false teeth) or get hair extensions, either. However, I did work with a 5-year-old once who won her national pageant, so really it all depends on the kid, the parent, and the situation.
I've never marketed my pageant coaching services — if you're halfway committed, you'll track me down
My track record speaks for itself. I've coached five Miss Americas, two Miss USAs, three Miss Puerto Ricos (two placing as finalists at Miss Universe), and a Miss America Outstanding Teen, with runners-up and state winners in all those programs.
I've probably coached 500 girls in my career. Sometimes it's just one session, other times they become regulars. The majority of my work is with repeat clients.
These days, the
Unlike the legal arena where you can only represent one side, there's no conflict of interest when it comes to coaching, so it's not uncommon for me to coach more than one girl in the same pageant. In fact, I coached nine girls in the latest Miss USA pageant and seven wound up becoming finalists.
I'm very much aware I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's OK. Miss Congeniality, I am not. One girl I coached referred to me as the green-eyed monster.
I never set out to get into pageant coaching — I like to think of it as divine intervention
In 1992, my church choir director asked me to coach a local girl for the Junior Miss Covington County pageant as a favor since she knew I could sing and had some theater experience. I agreed, and the girl wound up winning.
Soon my phone started ringing with local moms looking to hire me. The more girls I coached, the more success I had on the pageant circuit.
But in 2008, things took a turn downhill when the law firm I worked for voted me out and my wife and I got divorced after 29 years of marriage. It was then I realized that pageant work could be the good Lord's way of giving me an alternate source of income to support my family.
I managed to find an office space through a pageant girl's father, so I was able to continue my legal work by day and coaching at night and weekends. After my son William passed the bar exam in 2013, we formed our own law firm here in Andalusia, Alabama.
My coaching workload varies drastically from one week to the next
One week I might not see any coaching clients, while others I might work six or seven hours, and then there might be an all-weekend event where I'm working more like 18 hours.
When COVID-19 hit, pageants were canceled for nearly two years, and during that time some girls lost interest and dropped out of the circuit. If I had to guess, I'd say I'm back to 80% of my pre-pandemic clientele.
You never know what will happen at a live pageant
Shoes can accidentally come flying off on stage and spaghetti straps can unexpectedly break on gowns. One time a girl changed her into shorter heels at the last minute because her feet hurt, only to stumble across the stage looking like she'd enjoyed a few too many cocktails. Once a fan was set out to keep everyone cool but instead, it blew a woman's skirt up only to reveal a no-panty situation.
Awkward moments like these aren't just reserved for the stage, either. I've had my share of male relatives of pageant girls come up to me, eager to strike up a conversation and talk shop while I'm standing at a urinal!
There was a time I used to attend more pageants, but these days, I make a point of spending more of my free time with my husband Doug and my family. I still try and judge or attend when I can to keep things fresh, though.
No matter the level of competition, the way I see it, purpose, practice, and persistence are what make a true pageant queen. Like I always say, life is a pageant, so why not put it on stage.