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I thought I landed my dream job at Amazon. But after being put on an impossible performance plan, I quit even though I lost a $110,000 deposit on a house.

Tim Paradis   

I thought I landed my dream job at Amazon. But after being put on an impossible performance plan, I quit even though I lost a $110,000 deposit on a house.
  • A former Amazon employee said he quit after being put on Pivot, a performance-improvement plan.
  • Being out of work meant he lost the deposit on a house he and his wife were building.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a former Amazon Web Services employee. Though he asked to remain anonymous, his identity is known to Insider. The employee was placed in the company's Pivot program, which is a performance-improvement plan.

I was working in tech when an Amazon recruiter reached out to me on LinkedIn. I'm in the tech industry so Amazon, AWS — that's it, right? That's the company you want to go to.

It was going to really take me to that next level and lead me to my dream job. After I get the job, I think things are going really well. My wife and I decided to sell our house, take the money, and use it to build a bigger house because we have a large family.

It took months to design it and get construction going. But then things began to change at work. At that point, I'm getting stressed. It felt like what they were asking me to do was a moving target and I could never hit it.

But I never thought I would be pushed out.

And when it happened, I was shocked. And my wife was like, "What about the house?"

A tough interview process

When this all started, I was excited about joining Amazon. The recruiter reached out to me and I interviewed with him. It was a tough process. There were three or four different rounds. Then they gave me an offer, which I thought was great. And then they said they were going to give me a signing bonus. The recruiter said that it was just the beginning in terms of pay and advancement. So I was like, "Wow, I'm going to work for Amazon. And that's just the beginning. And I'm making this much. I'm set."

I start and everything seems fine. I met my manager. And he seemed pretty nice. I mean, you know, normal IT guy.

There was a lot of excitement when I started there because there were a lot of new people. It was pretty good energy.

Right off the bat is three months where you do all the training. They teach you about the cloud. They prepare you to be a technical account manager — a TAM. And it's just three months, which is really stressful. You prepare presentations and learn how to talk to customers. They call that process the check ride.

"We're gonna give you more shares"

The transition from check ride into the actual job is — it's terrible. They don't tell you anything about how to do your job. And I talked with other new TAMs and they felt the same way.

Soon after that, a few more TAMs joined my team. I was becoming a bit more of a senior TAM in my role. There are opportunities that you have there to be what they call an onboarding buddy. When there's somebody new you become a mentor for them. So I did that on top of my job, and I did a pretty good job. And people started to get to know me, and they're like, "OK, reach out to him. He can be a coach for you to help you with check ride." By then I'm like only four months into the job.

I'd have one-on-ones with my manager, which were very, very simple. It was like, "Hey, how's it going?" And I'd say it was going well and that I was still learning my customers. And then, one time in a one-on-one, my manager says, "You know, the VPs look at performance and this and that, and we're gonna give you more shares." Of course, I thought that was awesome. Just months into the job and I'm getting extra Amazon stock. My manager said not everyone was getting more shares.

A sudden shift

Now that I look back, soon after I started working on a processing a big refund for a customer who'd been overbilled was when my manager met with me and said that he was concerned about my performance. It threw me off. "Management doesn't really see what you're doing and this and this." I thought, "Wait a minute, a few months ago you gave me more shares. Everything was fine. And now this." I said what I was doing for my customer. He said he was going to meet with me every week and give me assignments. I didn't know who to talk to.

Then he would say things like, "Have you read this document on TAM expectations?" I said I had. He would say I wasn't doing this or that. He would ding me for it. He would send me an email after our meeting.

One time he asked me to add him to an email distribution list and I did. Then, later on, he said he'd done a spot check and he wasn't added there. But I told him it takes 48 hours for it show up.

I thought I needed to start looking for a new job. My manager kept meeting with me every week. One time I made a typo on a date and he said, "That's concerning."

At the same time, colleagues keep reaching out to me and asking if I can help them with things. So I feel that I'm adding value, but my manager is saying something else.

Then another account manager who was new to my account asked for my help. And he said, "I've worked with four other TAMs but you're the best that I've worked with." I thought that was a great compliment.

"This is BS"

One day, my manager sent me a message on Slack. He had a very friendly tone, which was unusual. He asked me to jump on a quick call. I met with him and then he said, "Well, I've worked with you for the past 10 weeks and I've reviewed your performance. You're not improving. I'm going to put you into a Pivot program."

He said I could leave with severance or I could do all these other things within like a month and a half but if I don't pass, I'd only get half of the severance.

So at that point, I'm like, "I'm out." Because I look at the list of what he's asking me and I'm like, there's just no way. The time constraints were too tight. One of the things I needed to do was to shadow other TAMs so I could do my job better. At that point, I'm like, "This is BS. An account manager is asking me to help because he doesn't trust his other TAMs. Other new TAMs are coming to me and asking for my help."

So then I decided I would talk to my manager's manager. I told him there was a clear disconnect between what my manager was saying and what everyone else was saying — even my customers. And he said, "I wish I could say more." Twice he said that.

I wrote a letter to HR. So after two or three days, the person from HR who was involved in my Pivot agreed to meet with me. And we're meeting and I turn my camera on and he will not turn his camera on. And I'm thinking, turn your camera on. We need to have a conversation. After several minutes, he finally turned on his camera.

I told him my concerns. He was just like, "OK, well, I'm here for whatever you decide. I'll support you." Well of course I'm going to leave because I'm not that stupid.

Within two or three days, I made my decision. I said I was leaving. I'm not gonna risk it. In an email that came, it said I had five business days to leave.

Then my manager reaches out to me and he says, "Let's just work on a transition." He asked me to stay on until a date that was like two weeks away. I was like, you want me out but you still want me to work on transitioning my customers? This is just odd. I thought that if I stayed longer I would get paid. So I stayed. I worked with a new TAM who was going to replace me.

The month after I left, I got a message on LinkedIn asking if I'd gone through the Pivot program like this guy had. Within weeks, someone else who had been on my team told me he was also going through a Pivot. And then I learned about another person who was going through this. Different reasons — but to me I felt like they over-hired. My assumption is we got probably higher salaries than the people who had been there longer.

To me, if you're going to let people go because you over-hired or because of financial reasons or something, say it. So I lost my job. I was building a house. I lost my house because I couldn't close on that. I lost $110,000 that there's no way I'm going to get back. My wife, still to this day, she's like, "What did you do?"

An Amazon spokesperson told Insider via email: "Like most companies, we have a performance management process that helps our managers identify who in their teams are performing well, who needs more support, and who might not be a fit for Amazon. This account contains a number of inaccuracies about our performance management process, which is only ever used to address employees' work output, and an anonymous account from a disgruntled former employee does not represent the experience of the vast majority of our employees who regularly meet or exceed expectations. For the small number of employees who don't, we provide coaching and opportunities to help them improve. If they're unable to do that, then we may have to discuss them leaving the company. While that may be a difficult experience for the employee involved, it's hardly unusual for a company of our size, and would be expected from any business that's focused on consistently delivering for its customers. There's no question we keep our performance bar high, and that's one of the reasons why Amazon is one of the most sought-after places to work in the world."

Do you have something to share about what you're seeing in your workplace? Insider would like to hear from you. Email our workplace team from a nonwork device at thegrind@insider.com with your story or to ask for one of our reporter's Signal numbers. Or check out Insider's source guide for tips on sharing information securely.



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