I thought being an in-house lawyer was my dream job — until I opened my own firm. It's been a terrifying and deeply rewarding journey.

• Alyson Decker, 38, was working as an in-house counsel at the start of the pandemic.
• After dealing with long hours and a pay cut, she decided to open her own practice.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Alyson Decker, a 38-year-old lawyer from Orange County, California. It has been edited for length and clarity.

This story is part of "How the Pandemic Changed My Career," an Insider series documenting the moves and moments that shaped people's careers over the last two years.

I worked as a lawyer for 15 years before I got what I thought was my dream job as an in-house counselor and vice president of legal affairs for a group of human-resources and staffing companies.

I had always wanted to go in-house, even though my friends and family were always telling me that I should strike out on my own and start my own firm. It's a huge risk to start your own firm, and I wasn't ready to take it.

But working as in-house counsel didn't work out the way I'd hoped

As the pandemic hit, I realized, like so many other workers, that employers were expecting employees to do more work with fewer resources. Companies were cutting back on staff and hours but expecting the same amount of work to be done.

At my job, we got a 15% pay cut, but I had the same workload — if not more, because I also had to do COVID-19 compliance work that was outside the scope of my role. It reminded me of what the workplace was like during and after the 2008 recession, where so much was expected of employees but they weren't given much in return.

When I departed from my role as in-house counsel in late April 2021, I had a decision to make

I thought that I would just return to a firm or another in-house role, but something made me decide it was time to take the risk.

I started realizing that if I kept waiting for the "perfect time" to strike out on my own, it would never happen. It's never going to be the perfect time. If you keep hoping and waiting for everything to line up perfectly, it may never come along at all.

I started my own law firm based around what I thought was missing from the legal industry: legal representation for small businesses without big fees. It's funny, because attorneys are a generally risk-averse group, and I definitely am. But it felt like a now-or-never kind of thing. The pandemic made it clear that life is short — so if you want something, you have to go for it.

In the beginning of May 2021, I started my firm

I provide what I call fractional general-counsel services, which basically means I offer startups, small businesses, and growing businesses the opportunity to have an in-house legal-team member.

A lot of small and growing businesses can't afford a full-time general counsel, or they don't have the need for that much help. So what I do is give them in-house legal counsel without the huge price tag or commitment of hiring someone full time.

I help with everything from weighing legal liability to advice on how to grow sustainably and legally to contracts, compliance, and legal-risk assessment.

I work on a flat-fee basis, which is great because people can actually budget for my services. It can be hard for small businesses to figure out if a problem is going to be a problem a lawyer is going to need three hours or 10 hours to solve — and the financial burden can vary wildly. So this way they know they have me and they know my rates.

It's been scary to be out on my own, but it's also been so rewarding

I'm scared to fail at owning my own firm. I worry about whether I can pay my bills or if I'm wasting time trying to build a practice that will never succeed. But then something comes to light — like my invoices for December were the highest I've had since starting my own firm — and I'm optimistic that things will keep improving.

I get to choose my own clients, which is not usually the case in big law firms, and I've had the opportunity to work with so many women founders and businesses owned by people of color. I'm a lot more affordable than bigger firms, which makes my services more accessible to people who need them.

It's been so exciting to help people take the jump to turn their dream into a business. To be a part of turning someone's passion into something sustainable is so incredible.

I'm the breadwinner in my family, so it does feel like I'm taking on this risk on behalf of my family, not just myself

Because of the cost of starting my own firm, we no longer have the down payment we were saving for a house. I did have savings, which helped, so I haven't had to go into debt. But homeownership isn't in the near future anymore, and we had to cut back on many expenses.

You can't make the leap until you're ready to fall and fail, which is terrifying! But the pandemic made so many of us realize that we regret the opportunities we didn't take — the adventures, the travel — and now those things are limited. It made me realize I had to go out and get what I wanted instead of waiting for everything to be perfect before trying something new.